The Heir Quest [ LAST UPDATE // SEPTEMBER 22, 2021 ]

Hi! I don’t know if it was mentioned but during senators’ meeting, I presume, my character’s name was written a bit oddly. For example, Princess Aerona Aerona. It repeated my MC’s name. Also, during the same meeting Zeg says that I showed mercy to his brother, which I did. But during my MC’s speech it says that we cannot bring Baz back. As if he was killed. And finally, where does the game end? Because after the meeting with goddess and doing all the work asks, the options for spending time with companions was the same. Also, after another chapter starts, it again starts with us encountering Baz the ogre.

P.S. Somewhere in the same chapter the word goddess was written with an extra “o”.



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SORRYY :sob::sob: I HATE TO DO IT MYSELF HAHAH

certainly, it should since this test isn’t hard :thinking: is your magic offensive or supportive? because MC uses an enchantment in the axe so it’ll only work if they can use supportive magic

you’re absolutely correct, can’t believe i let this pass! i’ll fix this + the goddess + the double first name + same immediately, thank you!!

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it took a while but i finally got why! the “go back” was returning to the past camp scene, and it should now work correctly

fixing this too, really wasn’t supposed to happen! thank you for letting me know <3

that was the same mistake in the camp from above. the coding was directing to the wrong scene but i fixed it

thanks all of you for letting me know and sorry that you have to experience these errors </3

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So I just started reading the heir quest and at the beginning part with the assassins, I would’ve thought that I could use offensive magic to blast them away but the option’s greyed out.


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heyy, I believe you are a child of atrix, correct? the problem is that they have a heart too pure to kill cold-heartedly. since the assassins are controled against their will by magic, atrix’s children refuse to kill them, considering the assassin innocent by this same reason

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oooh I see, I didn’t realise/probably glossed over it. Thanks :smiley:

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Oh i see , indeed my magic is offensive no wonder it failed.

And dont act like you dont get a sadistic pleasure when you delete our saves man… i know i would if i was in your place :smirk:

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I LOVE YOU, DUDE. >3
brbrbrbbr

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@yanphi no problem friend!!

@Servant_of_choices KDJDMM ok maaaybe… making everyone play the game all over again? my plans since the beginning!! :relieved:

@Gugachackra AW MAN LOVE YOU TOO

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How old are the RO’s?

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Heey, played the new chapter!
So, I’ll start with saying I’m so so excited about it! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I loved the new chapter and the camp scenes and aaah, it was all so cool!
But sadly, I also have something I didn’t like, and I feel so bad for saying that :sob:
I actually didn’t like the origin story that was inserted at the beginning of the game, but well I have specific reasons for that, so I’ll detail it in a moment.

Still, aside from that one thing, it was really great!
I’ll do my usual report now, but I didn’t mark down a lot of grammar or typo related issues - there is a certain amount of it, and I prefer to leave it for native English speakers. I think the biggest concentration was in X’s flashback.

Anyway, my report:

Allon origin intro:

So… the thing I was talking about… It’s a bit frustrating to say, honestly… but I have to admit I liked the original intro more, even if there was less narration… The current one actually doesn’t fit my MC very much - or well, it forces some behaviors I’d never choose for my MC, and considering the rest of the game allows to select how the MC acts in situations like these, it really felt OOC. And well, I can say that since I have played with the former version and thus seen “future” scenes, but even without that, I’d be perturbed by certain things that the MC does in this intro…

To get into what bothered me, well, first, I kind of miss the reactions the MC could have when learning which deity they are related to. It felt strange for my MC not to say anything anymore when learning it’s Allon. Previously, they commented on how the queen made such a thing and so on, and it felt really natural and made a lot of sense, and now it skips to the hunt scene without anything right after the news. Not to mention, hearing the queen’s explanation about that was interesting too. It’s really weird to have to learn that the very queen reached to Allon in order to have her child be what they are, and be expected to accept that fact with no explanations. Obviously it’s worse for the MC themself.

In addition to that, I find the MC too… cold and even cruel in the Allon intro, without leaving the possibility for the player to do anything about that.
For starters, a kid (I don’t know their exact age back then, but still) may not be very keen on hunting a fox, especially considering since it’s a fox, it must be hunting for sport solely, so not even a necessity. Besides, in the new chapter’s camp scene - W’s one - the MC can actually say they are unable to kill a rabbit, or even decide to protect it, and they are older at this point! And that was hunting for food! So it seems even stranger to me to see young MC so keen on the hunt, even as to claim the animal as theirs, in that origin scene.

And then there’s that segment, for the diplomacy path (which should be the most peaceful, logically):
But the time they lost in it was crucial for your mother to find you. Followed by guards, she came wielding a blade, galloping, and slicing at the same time. You watched them tear all of them down without pity, and you could only smile. You could always count on her, she’d always be there to protect you. So you’d like to believe.
I can’t imagine my MC smiling of all things, at such a moment. More like crying and/or trying and stop the killing? Sure, he wouldn’t cry in such a situation in the present time, but he was younger back then. Besides, in the current events, the MC can always select non lethal methods and be against killing, so again, I would make it a choice here or simply have them act in a more neutral way, like shocked by the scene for example, which would make sense regardless of their personality, if it’s the first time they see people being killed. And I get it that they were probably smiling because their mother came to help them, but I still think it would make sense for a lot of MC’s to be too shocked or repulsed by the scene to actually feel happy. Especially since this is the diplomacy path, where they managed to convince the cultists to actually help them with the horse.

Again, I’m sorry for being so negative about that… it makes me feel so bad… But really, I couldn’t help but feel like there were so many OOC things in this scene for my playthrough… :cry:

Allon kid "jobs":

I think there is a coding issue when selecting an Allon related MC’s “job” - I see in the code that the option to steal a crossbow makes the MC a warrior, and the one to steal a sword makes them a spy. And the stat increases or decreases also seem reversed.

At the ceremony:

“Native Goddess Atrix, we are here at once together, joined to finish the second part of my Son, Prince of your land. He had completed the studies and now, it is time for reaggregation.”
That part sounds a bit strange. I feel like something is missing - “the second part of my son” is a strange thing to say.

When interpreting the prophecy:

After the queen offers her theory, there’s that: “But no lightning comes. This is your question, indeed.”
Wasn’t that meant to be “this is your quest, indeed”? The “question” confuses me.

By the start of the new chapter:

“You talked to the Firstborn himself?” Winifred seeks confirmation, taken back by the revelation.
W is male in my playthrough. Also, it should be “taken aback”.

When selecting to meet Oz, in the new chapter:

The narration says the MC goes out at night to do so… is it so early in the morning that it’s still labelled as night, or did the MC skip the entire day for that? For the other scenes, it’s either something that happens during the day, or the narration explains night comes while the MC does the activity, but here it’s a bit strange that they didn’t seem to do anything else during the entire day.

Intimidating the goblins:

During the goblin mission, at the market, the option to successfuly intimidate one of the goblins require to have at least 3 dots in manipulation + intimidation. I had 3, but I failed.

Amazon mission:

I succeeded in the mission (by stealing the artifact back), but then, back in the chambers, I got the fail result. Sneaking and avenging the amazons worked though, so it means it’s specifically the larceny path that doesn’t work.

After the orcs' mission, if selecting X when eating:

“Thinking of me, heh?” It’s Oz’s voice. [I]“I know you can’t stay away from me for a single moment, but I don’t really like to eat, so enjoy your time!”
This entire segments appears in italics, while, I assume, “It’s Oz’s voice” shouldn’t. And well, there’s a bit of stray code.

On the same page, this segment is also entirely in italics, narration included:
“Yes!” Oz answers and, even though he’s not there, you can picture his smile. "For only a small amount of time.

X's scene during the second camp segment:

If deciding to join them in the water with the “courtship” option, part of the description says “You walk to him with a smirk, accepting the hand he offers to you.
Maybe the whole smirk thing could be reserved for later? The thing is, I have only selected shy romantic options, so that line seems very OOC in my playthrough - my MC would probably be combusting and feeling awkward as hell. Since you don’t track how the MC acts in romantic situations, it would be better to either avoid making them act in a confident way by default (when there is no choice of “tone” for a romantic choice, I mean - in most situations there are two or even three variations, for X’s romance options - bold, shy and sort of denial - in these cases the player can select), make it depend on the personality stats, or maybe could you add a “shy version” of the courtship option here?
Obviously I could select the non-courtship answer, but I’d miss on some cool lines exclusive to this version if I’d do so.

During the same scene:

…lean towards them
This choice option should use male pronouns in my playthrough.

After R's new camp scene:

At the very end, I have that:
You smile. “You’re looking good. Like the best assassin around!” It’s bedtime, Your Highness. You’re so exhausted you could sleep right outside, but the mental image of your comfortable sheets gets the best of you. You start walking towards your tent, but another thing catches your attention. Rhys has already returned from the tribe, in fact, wearing new roguish clothing. So you erase this option.
I feel like the “It’s bedtime” should be after a line break? And also, it’s a bit strange for the game to mention Rhys having returned, and with new clothing, considering they were together and thus my MC knows how and why they got the clothes already, and besides, they had to have returned together, since he was the last one my MC visited.

And I think that’s it.
Again sorry for being critical of the origin story - I’m sure it’s specific to that one, at least! And I loved the rest of the content! :heart:

X’s scenes were pure delight. The genuine joy, happiness and innocence that radiates from the moments the MC and X play as if they were children never fails to make me smile and almost tear up. I love star-crossed lovers romances, and enemies to lovers too, but this is such a unique take on a mix of both… I’m melting…

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Just curious who here other than me killed the man for sugar?

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@hilite W is a spoiler so I can’t tell just yet! but R is two years older than MC. having in mind the Heir is around 20-30 (whatever you guys feel most comfortable with), while C is around 100 years which is the maturity age for elves.

X, however, has been there for some 200 years, but time flows differently in “hell”

@Servant_of_choices IM GLAD YOU DID! I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THAT MISSION :sob: :sob: it was a little of a comic relief but im happy with the result

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im glad you liked it friend, and don’t feel bad!! i appreciate the honesty!

about allon

about the queen’s comment, though i felt the conversation between them was important i didn’t really like how i wrote it :sob: idk why but it felt… rushed to me. maybe i’ll add it before the flashback when i think of a way to get the exclusivity of each god(ess) correctly

after that, the hunting scene. im sorry it caused you discomfort :disappointed_relieved: it was supposed to be a little more disturbing, forcing the player to do something most wouldn’t

MC was only hunting the fox to impress Allura, who’s been acting strangely lately (being MC there around teenage), but that resulted in what happened. i can understand the discomfort, it’s disturbing, especially if you’re playing with a more merciful MC. it was cruel bc deep inside, every child of allon holds a little of his anger, some are just better at controlling, which would be the case on the diplomatic choice. but for most, that scene was the true peak of hatred and fear internalized, especially bc of the young age, in fact, they even faint in the magic choice.

they feel happy when Allura comes bc they are now safe, safe from cultists that hurt poor animals and promise to stalk children. which also brings us back to Allura acting strangely, but returning to her true protective self once the Heir was in danger. they were happy bc their mom was back, even for a small moment!

if it keeps getting out of the image of your MC, try picturing he became more reserved after what happened, especially after fully understanding the reasons behind the attack when he’s older. if he’s more merciful, he could even have made a promise to not act like him/his mother acted on that fateful day :pensive:

the job

in the warrior scene, MC uses the crossbow they were using to hunt, while in the spy they steal a sword. that was the only reason the stats are different hahah :sweat_smile: a parallel with ‘dexterity and larceny’ and ‘stealing a sword’

the missions

i found out what was wrong with the goblins’ intimidation and the larceny path! both are fixed, thank you for notifying me!!

X's scenes

MC did not necessarily skip the entire day, but they didn’t do anything worth mentioning before they sneaked off at night to confront X. about the italics, it was truly an aesthetic mistake, im also fixing this coding!

onto to the bath scene, that’s completely understandable! i think a stat test there would work better, so i’ll make it depend on the personality!!

R's scene

those were also coding mistakes! i forgot to put a page break and changed the variable after the *goto_scene :sweat_smile:

typos

it’s truly missing a part hahah idk how i missed it!! it was supposed to be “the second part of my son’s Rite of Passage” :sweat_smile: i’ll fix it immediately. the same for “the question,” W’s dialogue and X’s pronouns.

and here we go! there’s no need to be sorry, really! every healthy criticism is welcome :hugs: as always, thank you for the amount of effort you put into the feedback, it truly makes me see the story from another perspective <3 plus i’m glad you enjoyed X’s scenes! they’re really more happy and innocent bc of the poor demon’s background. deep down, they miss being a child that could fool around without responsibilities!

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Hmm everything you said about the Allon background things I’ve pointed out make total sense, but I’d actually mention it in game? Like, the scenes don’t bother me anymore KNOWING that. But I know that only because you told me outside of the game… :thinking:
I think then it’s maybe a case of you thinking it’s obvious because you’re the author, but it being weird for players who don’t know and who don’t play a MC naturally alligned with that behavior.
Like, for example, for the hunting scene, a simple “wanting to impress your mother, you exclaim ‘This one is mine!’” or something like that, and it would perfectly solve the first scene.

For the diplomacy path one hmm… Well, I think you could simply write somewhere that Allon related people have these tendencies, which would then explain implicitly that since the MC was younger then, they had less control over it than they’d have once the player truly assumes control of them in the present. If you consider re-adding a short scene where the queen would discuss her choice with the MC, then the MC could even think DURING that scene that it explains why they always had these tendencies. Which would in turn make it even more clear that them being different in the present if the player chooses so is a conscious effort and choice!

And well, I think that way, it would solve any discomfort issue! Without you having to change much.
Not to mention, I think it would make an Allon descended MC who’s more of a pacifist even more interesting than if they just didn’t have these natural tendencies.

Anyway, for the things that were actual issues, you’re welcome! And thanks for deciding to add a personality check for the bath scene! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Weekly Update :scroll: — 01/10/2021

This week on “It’s been a long time since I had to think of one of these:”

  • Well, I’ve been a little stuck to actually begin another Chapter after the last update but, though I didn’t really get over it, I started writing it.
  • Its introduction is done and it contains something I have really been wanting to show you guys! When I make some more progress I’ll do some sneak peeks.
  • I am also rewriting a “there’s only one bed” scenario I made in Tumblr into the game. Though it’s not been long that I did it, I like the new version better with my somehow “improved” writing.
  • Since I still couldn’t overcome my block, I think I’ll focus a little on organizing my coding — which actually got really better from back then to now — until I’m good to write more.
  • Aside from actually writing, I have just been fixing Bugs and Typos on the Demo.

Goals for next week:

  • As always, being this the first update from Chapter 5, I’ll just say everything I have planned for it here and organize my goals as I write. So without delays, Chapter 5 will include:
  • The monster attack scene (already done);
  • “There’s Only One Bed” with all four ROs;
  • Arrival at Paham and its two main missions;
  • C Background Mission;
  • Once again, The Camp feature. X Background Mission will happen there.
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:eyes: I’m perplexed… How would that work with X considering the special… situation?

Definitely not asking because of personal interest… definitely…

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lmaooo with X, once again, you’ll have to take a huge risk and tell the others you want a room only to yourself!

little do they know is that you’ll call X to join you after!! yknow, nobody likes to sleep alone… but the order doesn’t need to know about it, right? :wink:

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This is so reckless and I live for it :rofl:
X content is so delicious

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hello! once again im delaying an update bc I have little to report, but this time it’s a little different!

as i mentioned on tumblr, i put the main series on the shelf for a moment so i can write a halloween special. i’ve been doing some progress and already started the second act!!

and sorry for the short report

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