The Guard's Duty (WiP, demo) (Last update 04/12/18)

low-fantasy
gender-choice

#1

Hello all!

I’m pretty new here. However, I enjoyed a couple of COG adventures and decided to try to make my own.

So, here goes nothing. https://dashingdon.com/go/1102

This is a “Chapter 0” of a game set into a medieval low-fantasy world, which allows the player to become a member of the City Guard. It worth to mention that the city is torn apart by recent war, barely recovered from numerous rebellions and suffers the deadly Plague.

It is really early WiP, but I’d still appreciate any feedback. I hope that you will enjoy it, if you decide to try.

UPDATE (31/07/17)

I’m really proud to tell you that a lot of work has been done (both by me and my wonderful editor) and I’m finally able to present you a part of Chapter 1 of story. It includes the following

  • The direct rout to the mission, available for all guards without a second
  • The tavern (the scene that took most of my time by far), available to guards without second, of believes “Fellowship”, “Survival”, “Unique”

UPDATE (20/12/17)

It mostly consists of various grammar improvements, but aslo:

  • Added options to skip chapter 0 and go straight to chapter 1
  • Re-checked flags for tavern. Get “The Poisoned Tongue” one contest is still waiting for its winner :slight_smile:

UPDATE (21/05/18)

  • The Cathedral scene is available in Chapter 1 for guards without second

UPDATE (04/12/18)

  • The Chapter 1 for veteran guards/promoted regular guards is complete

Please post your thoughts, questions or anything connected to the game down here. Looking forward to your replies!


#2

Love the characters. Like, really. Their introductions are a bit rapid fire though, how about spreading them out? Oh, and will there be a non-binary option?

I’d have hoped for a bit more descriptive writing but I really enjoyed this anyhow!!!


#3

It’s a very solid start, but the beginning felt like exposition was being crammed down our throats. Try to space them out and let the story develop naturally.

I assume, due to the setting, there will be combat, how do you plan on implementing it? A combat stat, multiple weapon proficiency, choices each fight that determine the outcome, etc? It’s really early in the story, you don’t need to have a definitive answer, but you should begin planning what you want for the combat aspects.

Other than that, it’s a solid start, keep it up!


#4

Strong dialogue. Keep the good work going and you’ll get all sorts of fanart and fanfiction.

This would add a lot of depth to your character introductions. With good character writing, people want more.

Well done. So far - so good.


#5

volounteers (I think you meant volunteers), also if I’m a veteran, why isn’t my rank higher (and why does sedd call me a youngster). Also: Yes, you are the one of the old stagers in guard (to many the’s used)


#6

I like it so far can you put scar on stat if we get injured or anything


#7

INSANITY?! PLAGUE?! Corrupt Blood incident WIP?

Now i’m completely sold…

But really, what’s with the Insanity stat? If it’s too high we’ll become some kind of crazed war veteran or something like that?


#8

Ok I am hooked already plus I love the idea of being a guardsman


#9

Ooh, an interesting demo.

Just some questions: will this be a mission-based game where our MC moves from mission to mission? Will there be ROs (and have we alr met them hehe)? Will we be able to climb ranks and improve our MC’s social standing depending on our actions and stats?

On the other hand, it’ll be interesting for our MC to remain a guard from start to end, kind of like a constant in the changing world around them. Though the simplicity might attract less players(?)

The insanity stat has caught my attention :eyes: I wonder if we’ll be able to play as an evil/corrupt/supernatural guard?

Overall, keep up the good work! I’ll be eagerly anticipating the next update :slight_smile:


#10

First of all, thank you for your replies, comments and opinions.

  1. Many of you mentioned fast-paced beginning. I guess I’ll look into it, though I’m not sure I’ll be able to change it considerably. However, I’ll certainly try to remember about it in the future.

  2. [quote=“TheTrueKing, post:3, topic:22941”]
    I assume, due to the setting, there will be combat, how do you plan on implementing it?
    [/quote]

Well, my current idea is to give the player a choice of multiple actions/strategies a couple of times during the fight. I think that I’ll have more to say after I try to code some combat.

3)[quote=“Zassuen, post:7, topic:22941”]
But really, what’s with the Insanity stat? If it’s too high we’ll become some kind of crazed war veteran or something like that?
[/quote]

Insanity stat is kinda tricky one, but one way of how it can affect your charachter is exactly “crazed war veteran”, yes

4)[quote=“ohmyvalar, post:9, topic:22941”]
Just some questions: will this be a mission-based game where our MC moves from mission to mission? Will there be ROs (and have we alr met them hehe)? Will we be able to climb ranks and improve our MC’s social standing depending on our actions and stats?
[/quote]

TBH, I’m not exactly ready to cover all of these topics, but you certainly could meet a possible RO, and I’m planning to create a continuous plotline, without breaking the game into several missions.

  1. Again, I appreciate all grammar-and-stuff corrections

#11

Any plans for a nb player option or a nb character?


#12

I like it. You did a good job making the choice of how long the MC had served in the Guard be meaningful. You definitely got my attention.


#13
  1. [quote=“Laguz, post:11, topic:22941, full:true”]
    Any plans for a nb player option or a nb character?
    [/quote]

I suppose there will be such a character, but I don’t think that I’ll be able to fully implement nb player option.

7)[quote=“War_Doctor, post:5, topic:22941”]
also if I’m a veteran, why isn’t my rank higher (and why does sedd call me a youngster)
[/quote]

Sedd is actually both older and higher-ranked (when he returned to the city, player character with veteran background served only a couple of months, and Sedd was a sergeant).


#14

I really like this.It has a LOT of potential.

Keep it up,buddy.


#15

Also,found a little grammar error.

“After the news about the demise of him and other high-ranked guards hit N, she succesfully stopped the panic spreading among the remnants of the Guard,and urged them to assemble a council which should govern it’s actions”

The word in bold is the word which should fix the sentence,by the way.

“There two forces clashed - the army of living, combined from the kingdom’s soldiers, levies and mercenaries and the horde of undead.”

From the way this is written,it seems that the hordes of undead were part of the army of living.I know someone with even the slightest of brainpower would know that it’s not,but still,if you could change it to “versus the horde of undead” it would flow more smoothly,in my opinion.

“This place was not chosen at random, we were told - scout reports made it clear that the enemy was moving through a mountain pass with only one exit - a big ugly rift right in front of us.”

Another small mistake.As always,the word in bold is the correction.

"“Half of my platoon dropped their bows and ran.”


#16

Thank you, I’ll look into this asap


#17

I gave it a playthrough and took notes:

  • I’m guessing “city N” is a placeholder? On the other hand, it does lend it an air of the exotic.

  • I hit the ‘show status’ shortly before setting my name. I’m not sure it’s formatting right at that point,
    as the first line reads “History of Guard of City N entry”

  • “You recognize the speaker immedeatly” -> “You recognize the speaker immediately”

  • “the day you sweared your oath” -> “the day you swore your oath”

  • Is “plague” a personal stat? Because clearly “insanity” is, but if I’m 40% plague-ridden, I’m pretty worried about this.

  • “Sedd, who was rumored to be the War survivor” makes it sound like “War survivor” is a title or subject of a prophecy. “A survivor of the War” instead? (Unless it is a title/prophecy, in which case kindly disregard)

  • The flashback to Sedd’s story (in my case, how he saved the mayor’s daughter) seemed a bit out of place.
    Maybe just me, though, I’ve hardly ever seen flashbacks.

  • It was less jarring when I get the choice to pick more, though, as I’m expecting them. At this point it’s
    a nice way to deliver backstory :slight_smile:

  • “The imapct of my body” -> “The impact of my body”

  • “after the concstructon of the Grand Cathedral” -> “after the construction of the Grand Cathedral”

I’m liking it so far, the game feels very atmospheric.


#18

You got me hooked, and most wips don’t do that. Good job. This could be a fantastic game, and so far, it looks like it is


#19

City N? Is this a placeholder name? overall i thought the story was interesting. It was slightly slow paced which was a good thing in this stories case since it kept up with the information needed to be said without rushing it. the information was good and the story kept me paying attention and not skipping a few lines the entire time.

@Dragonborn you should get that hook looked at :innocent:


#20
  1. [quote=“atiaxi, post:17, topic:22941”]
    I’m guessing “city N” is a placeholder?
    [/quote]

Yes, you guys nailed it. I’m not really into the names, so the name of the City and its districts are… “to be created”

  1. [quote=“atiaxi, post:17, topic:22941”]
    I hit the ‘show status’ shortly before setting my name. I’m not sure it’s formatting right at that point,as the first line reads “History of Guard of City N entry”
    [/quote]

Well, I’ll look into this. Looks fine to me on the phone, though. Is it correct after choosing the name?

  1. [quote=“atiaxi, post:17, topic:22941”]
    Is “plague” a personal stat? Because clearly “insanity” is, but if I’m 40% plague-ridden, I’m pretty worried about this.
    [/quote]

It is a personal stat, but both insanity and plague are currently concepts under work - you shouldn’t pay much attention to the numbers right now. Btw, thank you for noticing all those slippery typos :slight_smile: