The Golden Rose (WIP) - Updated 5th of December, 2018

low-fantasy
gender-choice

#142

It is alright… i will scroll up then :-):stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

What ?? Me???.. no…no…no… , i actually just love to learn from others , it doesn’t mean that i am that person :-):sweat_smile: now, my friend… i hope you are not planning to report any of these to the Inquisitors and ask them to burn me :-):joy:
In case you are interested



#144

Alessa description…lol…to her dismay you will be haunting her in her dreams.:sweat_smile:


#145

(Hopefully, I’m not breaking any rule about posting in quiet threats).

Unfortunately, not an update (I wanted to have one by now), but I just wanted to share a drawing my sister did of Alessa. This is how the reserved mercenary looks like in my sister’s head :slight_smile:


Regarding the actual game, I’m making progress! I just finished a BIG scene I’ve been struggling with for about a week now :sob:. And it’s actually a bit discouraging just how little people will see of it in just one playthrough. But I guess that’s something I have to get used to.

But it’s over and I’m so happy lol. Had to learn a few coding tricks that I’ve been able to evade so far. I also had to realllly stretch my creativity because it’s about a subject I rarely write about. So that’s why the update it’s taking so long.

Anyway, now that the scene is out of the way, it should be pretty straightforward. I’m hoping progress goes smoother now, I could definitely use some feedback on a couple of things.


#146

It looks very good, your sister is very talented


#147

Alessa looks cute, i initially thought she will be more fierce :-):stuck_out_tongue: but the drawing is nice …:slight_smile:

What Big Scene?? Mind to give a hint ? :slight_smile:


#148

A fight scene :upside_down_face:

Whatcha mean I’m kinda regretting adding three more weapon choices?? That’s not true at all :slight_smile:


#149

By the way… the author can post to their own WIP anytime , so there is no worry for you :-):grin:

I don’t mind any number of weapon choice since i most likely talk my way out of any trouble :-):smile:

And errrr… i just hang on to Alessa in case i can’t talk any sense out of trouble …

Another thought, do you plan to implement Divine Intervention ? I meant could i pray and be rescue by higher powers ? :-):thinking: like if we have 3 favours, we can ask deity of our choice to save us 3 times , although you have to keep count of the number of favours :slight_smile:


#150

Please say dual swords, please say dual swords, please say dual swords


#151

Just finished my first playthrough. Loved the variety of choices and personality types. Both companions feel solid and thank god for all of the bantering that I can do(?).

Found this in the description of the old gauntlet in stats screen:

You his name: Nero.

dualswords


#152

Oh man, now I feel bad. I meant to say, the three options I added to the original three. I didn’t add three more on top of that. Do you want to kill me. :sleepy:

But dual swords are pretty cool. I wish I had thought of them before…

@niisan Hey, thanks for the catch! It’ll be fixed in the new update.

Hmm, I’m not planning on there being actual divine intervention. Gods and such matters will stay on the abstract field. Think of like Game of Thrones when it comes to that.

They may or may not exist. Your faith is really what matters most. Whether or not your MC believes in them.


#153

Ahhhh… i see i see :-):rofl:

Well… i just need to keep praying until i get a sign or favour :slight_smile:


#154

UPDATE :confetti_ball:

As I was writing chapter 2, I quickly realized that the part meant to be just “the beginning” was rapidly expanding and it was becoming much too long. So I made the decision to split the scenes into two different chapters.

Chapter 2 is thus a sort of introduction for chapter 3 (where the plot starts taking off) as well as it lays some groundwork for future events. It may seem small but it actually turned out to be bigger than chapter one. It’s just that you won’t see everything in only one playthrough.

I think I’ve picked a nice place for it to end.

Anyhow, this update contains:

  • Finished Chapter 2.

  • Added a save system.

  • Added Loner vs Team Player stat.

  • Added Corruption points.

  • Added a Character Guide.

  • Improved clothing, relationships, and weapon descriptions.

  • Improved the look of the Stats page.

  • My dearest brother pointed out to me that the witch having a crow was a bit of a cliché, so I’ve changed the witch’s familiar to a black feathered owl. I’ve also decided that instead of being entirely normal-looking, its eyes will be completely white.

  • Added more achievements.

  • Fixed some typos, annoying bugs, inconsistencies and stats mistakes.

  • Added the option to skip the prologue.

  • Changed the suggested names for the MC because I’ve put like 0 effort on those before lmao.

  • Cleaned the code a bit on Chapter 1. It’s less of a mess now.

  • Removed the Sword and Shield weapon choice. I just… wasn’t feeling it. Writing its parts was a chore so I’d rather remove it now than continue to write the whole game with it. The battleaxe honestly was almost cut too. I’ll keep it for now, but it may be excluded in the future. We’ll see.

Current word count: 79k (code excluded)
Average playthrough length: 18k


If you see big walls of text or paragraphs sticking together when they shouldn’t, a screenshot would help a lot! It means I’ve forgotten a page_break or a line_break somewhere.

Like always, any feedback, comments, criticisms or passing jabs are immensely appreciated. :rose:

However, there are a few issues I would like specific feedback on, if any of you kind people are willing to give.

Minor spoilers, I advise to read after playing through the update.
  • What did you think of the fight scene? I’ll admit, writing fight scenes is what I most struggle in because I simply don’t have enough practice. If any part was confusing or vague and you didn’t know what your MC was supposed to be doing, please tell me so. I’m willing to re-write the scenes as often as I have to.

  • For the MCs that tried to either influence, reason or intimidate the bandits, were the stat checks too high? Do you think I should lower them a bit? I know how frustrating it is to fail a stat check, but at the same time, I want to add some challenge to the game.

  • Is the Billy scene too long? I kinda went off the rails on this one because I was having so much fun writing it lol (I was literally laughing to myself at Starbucks :smile:) But if you think it’s too long or unnecessary, I’ll shorten the interaction.

  • Is the name of Chapter 2 too obvious of a Tolkien reference? I just love LOTR so much I couldn’t resist.

For the next update:

  • Character Customization scene - I wanted to include it in this update, but chapter 2 grew so much that I’ll rather take my time with the beginning of chapter 3 than rush to write it. If you have any suggestion about what type of customization options you like, I’d be happy to hear them :slight_smile:

  • Two important conversations (or confrontations) with Alessa and Hadrian, full of different variables depending on your decisions in the previous chapters. It’s going to be fun to write! (But also might take me some time to do so).

  • The search for Rafael begins!


#155

I was so excited to see the update that I almost spilled my coffee! :grin:

I haven’t played through the whole thing yet (I have an exam tomorrow and should try to sleep. Yay college!), but I’ll leave some of my thoughts below and write a (hopefully) more coherent post later!

This new update is already everything I didn’t know I needed.

BILLY!!! I’ve just met him and I already love him, stubborn old horse that he is. I loved all the options to try to get him to move. He just won’t listen to reason (or persuasion, or intimidation…) I also love that he showed up in the relationship screen! I might be biased due to my new love for him, but I’ll take all the Billy scenes I can get. I hope we can eventually get him to tolerate us? :wink:

Let me just say that “Tell me your name, so that I’ll remember who it was that I’ve killed.” might be the single most badass line I’ve read recently (right up there with “You cannot kill me in a way that matters.”) Holy shit. I had to pause for a minute and just sit with that.

The whole part with the bandits was really well done, I got very invested and was on the edge of my seat! I went straight for the fight the first time, but I succeeded in reasoning with some of the bandits with Wit=35 when I reloaded. I don’t think the check was too high, but I’ll try a lower stat and see what happens.

The fight scene itself was good, it felt chaotic in a good way, not in a “I have no idea what’s happening” way. Definitely thought my archer MC was a goner when Will had her cornered, but luckily, slightly-terrifying Alessa stepped in to save the day. I liked that, and it really got across just how dangerous she can be in the right circumstances. I also found it very heartwarming that she went from grinning over a corpse to being almost gentle with my character.

Summary of my thoughts on the update: :heart_eyes: :grin: :star_struck:


#156

Personally , i think the fight scene was great … there aren’t apparent confusion which i can’t imagine , it was an interesting and fun read … the scene where Will tried to disrespect Alessa really capture my imagination , and the choice of response are adequate , i thought of reply angrily but chose the option to keep my cool and wait for an opening

i tried to reason and influence the bandits to stand down , but it didn’t work for me… i never thought about a stat check however, because the following sequence work just fine as i resolve in fighting them… in addition to Geralt, it would be great if we could know the fate of others who we spare , like the female bandit who Billy knock out and other bandits who i didn’t killed… so we are just going to leave them like that ? not trying to lecture them like we lecture Geralt ?

when i pick the choice to let Billy go to Tarek, do i still need to give him money ? because i thought there already being a choice to give him money :slight_smile:

Billy scene was just great, i like those scenes, didn’t feel long at all, especially when Alessa feed him carrots and spare me some more :-):stuck_out_tongue:

Not at all… i read Lord of The Rings too but never feel or realise it was a Tolkien reference …


#157

Haven’t tried the demo yet but this sure is interesting :joy:


#158

There is no such thing as too much Tolkien.


#159

Yay college indeed. An exam on Saturday… I know that pain all too well. :sweat:

Good luck on your exam!

I love Billy too! :laughing: I’m very glad you liked him. You can definitely improve your relationship with him. Billy is a stubborn old horse, but he’s also not as dumb as he looks. You treat him well, Billy responds in kind… eventually.

Yeah, writing the archer MC was a challenge. You pretty much are in disadvantage the whole fight. In future scenes, having a long range weapon will be an advantage, however.

Thank you for your thoughts! I think they are already very coherent, but I’ll never say no to further feedback :wink:

Truer words were never spoken, my friend.

That’s good to hear. I was so nervous about uploading this chapter :grimacing:. I still am. Sometimes your own writing seems so awful to you…

Will’s comments about Alessa or a female MC were disgusting. So I put in the choices I would like to say to a man like Will lol.

About the bandits… I actually thought about the fate of the other bandits but then there’s so many of them, and so many possible outcomes that I just… didn’t bother. They are really minor characters after all. Maybe I’ll add in a scene where you tie the ones who are still alive, but I don’t think I’ll do more.

You give Garrett a few gold coins to help him get to Navarra, as a show of good faith. You give him a lot more in the other option - but I didn’t mention that. So thank you for pointing it out, I’ll rewrite that scene. :slightly_smiling_face:


#160

Gosh, the characters in this story are so… amazing. I swear I felt genuine anger when Will made those comments towards Alessa, and that archer lady trying to pull Billy’s reins and hurting him. I’d forgive everything but anyone hurting dear old Billy is subject to my wrath. He’s precious, and a badass to boot.

Speaking of Alessa, I love her but I also wanna sit her down and have a nice long talk about why we can’t have nice things. She doesn’t hesitate in subtly threatening us, yet gets touchy when threatened back. Can’t help but show that she really likes us, but refuses to talk about literally anything concerning herself. Hopefully she’ll finally open up a little in the next chapters.

Your writing is really descriptive too, gives enough details yet worded in a way so as to not stifle the reader’s imagination. The fight scene was great, I can only imagine the amount of effort and coding that must have taken. The wide range of choices and dialogue options are also something I really appreciate.

I do hope we see more of Garrett (and possibly Will, because I left him alive) later on. Looking forward to meeting all the other characters (Rafael, Tarek and of course, the witch and her merry little squad).


No! I thought it was very immersive and provided for a nice lighthearted scene.

As if that could ever be a bad thing?!

I hope you include an option to have heterochromatic eyes. I understand that it may be a bit of a pain to write and code especially if it crops up more than once later on, in which case, do feel free to ignore this!


#161

Genuinely laughed at this :smile:. I can only imagine how Alessa would react to such a talk.

Heterochromatic eyes are cool! I’ll have to figure out how to code that, but it shouldn’t be too hard. I think. It would definitely be something some characters would react on, however. Sometimes not positively.

I’ll keep your suggestion in mind!

Thank you for your kind words. :slight_smile:


#162

The update was so ammaaaazzziinnnngg!! Your writing is really captivating… And that part where hadrien was threatening will when he was acting like a pervert to us was…swoonn