Love the story so far, hopefully it doesn’t take too long for one whole chapter. I’m already engaged in the story that I want too find out what happens next. It really is a great game so far. Please I hope you will finished this game
uh…i think you uploaded the wrong file. i still can’t kill garret
So I’ve been using swing as swim… That’s honestly embarrassing. It’s good there weren’t any other water scenes.
Curse you the English language and your very similar words!
Thanks for pointing it out!
@Umbreonpanda Thanks for the catch!
Phew, you had me scared for a moment there, but I’ve checked and it is indeed the right files. The thing is, for you to kill Garrett, you have to have killed at every other opportunity. Even that bandit that tries to run away.
I hope so too I’d love to have more frequent updates, but life gets in the way. I’m going to take a few days off writing because I need a break, and I haven’t been reading as much as I want to. But after that, my goal is to write every single day. Even if it’s just one lousy sentence.
But thank you for your words. They are very much appreciated.
This is really, really good so far! I love your writing, and Hadrian and Alessa are both very likeable
although Billy is the true star.
prologue spelling errors
Then the shrilling sound of a heavy latch being lifted reached his ears.
Then, using the last of his strength, he bent down towards to floor and lifted a heavy hatch almost indistinguishable between the pink marble stones.
He had never seen rain such as these.
rain such as this or rains such as these
It seemed as if it could have been apart of the City of Gods itself.
a part or just part
The old slave dragged tired sluggish legs through the pristine floor and halted in front of it.
I’m not sure “through” is the best word here, as it sort of implies his legs are inside the floor instead of on it. Something like “across” or “along” would make more sense I think. A comma should also be put after “tired”.
Claws scrap the debris as It sprints towards him, desperate, famished, ravenous for blood, and flesh, and bone.
Just keep swinging, swinging, swinging… No worries, I suspect most of us had our heads auto-correct it for us. Interesting how, for me at least, my head does not auto-correct what I type…
Been playing this a few times, still lovely writing and easy to read as well as a plot that keeps me interested in more.
Well… silly me, i actually read and imagine MC is swinging
I actually went on google just to make sure I at least was right about what swinging means and the first thing that comes up uh… well, I hope that wasn’t what you imagined your MC was doing
Edit: @eXwhYZee Thank you for catching those errors! I didn’t know you couldn’t spell shrill as shrilling
Swinging as in swinging a sword right?
I was thinking i am swinging my hands , the way i swing a sword … trying desperately to swing my body in the opposite direction of the water current … i initially thought the scene seems logical
Love this game! You’re doing an amazing job! Quick correction, with Garrett towards the end you say “borrow him some money” and I thiiiiink you mean “lend him some money.” If we borrow money from him, that means we’re taking money from him. If we lend him money, that means we’re giving him money.
Love how flustered Hadrian gets, its adorable! I’m hoping we can become very good/best friends with the people we don’t romance because I love Alessa too!! Question- are we going to be able to shake Hadrian in his faith? He’s definitely not super militant about it or anything but will a VERY non-believer MC be a problem?
And I’m very happy you liked it!
You think correct. I’ll change it when I get home. Thanks for letting me know!
You absolutely can. It has already been pointed out to me that if you decide to spend time with either Hadrian or Alessa, you see the other much less. It’s a serious flaw. I was going for replayability in the first chapters, but you’re right.
Chapter 3 will have time for you to spend with both - separately and together - and more going further. A friendship with them should be as fulfilling as a romance. That’s what I’ll try at least.
I especially want to write the friendship scenes between a female MC and Alessa I love friendship between women.
For years Hadrian was told how to pray, how to believe, how to show his devotion. For what to kill. He’s tired of militancy, he wants nothing to do with it.
But for how much he differs from others in the church, there is one thing that’s absolutely certain. And that’s his own faith. It is ingrained in him, it’s a part of him. For it to shake, something massive would have to happen. So can you shake his faith? maybe.
Not a problem per se. Hadrian respects other people’s beliefs, and he respects their faith (or non-faith). As long as the MC is not disrespectful, as long as they don’t mock his faith right in his face. As long as you respect his beliefs as he respects yours, I’d say you’ll get along swimmingly.
But deep in the romance… let’s just say that the thought that the person he loves may be jeopardizing their place in heaven is going to hit him like a ton of bricks. In the same way that a very religious MC romancing Alessa can realize too.
Wait until you kill Garett and then see how flustered he really is
@Anathema The game is so great so far can’t wait till next update!!!
It’s so sweet when the fat man is being a creep and Hadrian gets all intense and protective! I got all gigglish.
Btw I’ve notice it’s common to have a tumblr for this type of games are you going to make one? It’s a neat and fast way to keep up to date on updates.
Thank you very much!
Hadrian has sacrificed a great many things. He’s unwilling to lose anything else. With an MC with a high relationship - especially if romanced - Hadrian’s protective side will come out more and more.
Hmm, I think, at least for now, I will not make a Tumblr. This thread is very low-traffic as is, I’m afraid the tumblr would be emptier than a desert.
Maybe in the future, when I’ve introduced more characters and you can get a better grasp of the actual plot I’ll consider making a blog. But for now, I don’t think it’s worth it.
Plus, I don’t really get Tumblr tbh. I kinda just use it to reblog art and fashion pictures lol. I don’t know how to run an actual blog.
Thanks for leaving a comment!
Damn, killing Garret was intense. I loved the reactions you added for us. I fucking hate Hadrian now, how dares he judge my actions? It would’ve been interesting to fight him though.
You’re killing me!! I can’t wait to see more interactions with my mc and Hadrian. He just keep stealing my heart.
My sister was bored so she did a quick sketch of Billy, the horse
I think she managed to capture his rugged charm, wouldn’t you agree?
As for the actual game, I’m back to writing! The small hiatus felt great and now I feel more reinvigorated. Just did some small editing on chapter 2 - and cringed the whole time reading it. I’ll have those files uploaded in a few days. I’ve introduced a couple of new variables, so I don’t know if it’ll mess up the save system.
I also made some headway into chap 3!
A small little snippet, for those interested.
[Italics is the result of a choice/personality stats - if this feels out of character for your MC it’s because it probably is].
His dark beady eyes shined from the depths of his polished high helmet as he looked down at you from the saddle of his warhorse. The knight’s lips curled into a smug little smile that made the finely combed hairs of his mustache lift even further. The rolled ends quivered slightly, and you never wanted to pull on anything more than you do now.
“And who are you supposed to be?” he pompously demands to know, his jewel-encrusted gauntlet hand sweeping the air in a frivolous, pointless gesture.
You can’t help the annoyance from showing in your face. Neck heating up, your own lips curl in aversion. “Just let me inside, you fancy peacock-wearing bastard”.
The high, mighty knight gasps loudly.
Christmas is going to be a busy time, so I’m not sure how much progress I’ll be able to make, but I’ll try to work on this every day.
Have some great Holidays, guys! See you next year.
Sir High and mighty:
I want to swap my horse with Alessa now :-) Alessa … please … please swap Billy with me ??
and i like Peacock feather Helmet … could i have a choice to stare at him in awe ? and ask " Sir please, could i have your helmet as souvenir ? " :-)