The Golden Rose: Book One by Ana Ventura

Yes, our MC are the ones who knows these people but we, the readers, are the ones who are deciding their paths. We just only entered the world the author created. We have no idea who these people are.

The example you gave is understandable in real life situations since we have no control over the other person unlike in these games, where we decide how the MC will react to the world around them.

Overall, I really like the way the author give various options for those who want to get to know the person before getting flirty with them.

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Oh no, it seems I was the one who came across the wrong way. I was agreeing with you and took advantage of your post to expand my reasoning behind the flag system.

I’m sorry for the confusion. :blush: I’m very glad you like my approach.

Killing Garrett will have long-term consequences. It’s a side of the MC both Alessa and Hadrian had never seen before, for one.

Hmmmm

@PlantHoarder Glad you liked the ask!

You don’t only enjoy it, you thrive on it.

Moving fast is definitely an option too. Some ROs might not be as receptive, however :wink: So far, you haven’t had actual time to sit down and talk with Alessa and Hadrian, so I know the flirts have been… subdued.

But you’ll be having some downtime soon, and you’ll be free to make your advantages.

Yes, the MC has a different perspective from the reader when it comes to Hadrian and Alessa. You have known them for a while now, it’s why they have crushes on you in the first place, after all.

I think both opinions are valid and thank you for voicing them. I’ll try to be more careful with the pacing in the future - I’m learning a lot as I’m writing the Golden Rose. It’s my first big project, after all. :slight_smile:

But the same thing won’t happen with (most) of the other ROs. You’ll meet them at the same time as your MC, so those relationships will be all yours to define.

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Ahhhh! Thank you! His hair literally took me around 20 minutes to draw so I am very glad you love him! I might share it on tumblr soon after adding some finishing touches because why not? I rarely ever draw so I might as well take advantage of this sudden inspiration :sweat_smile:

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Cheeky bastard.

You mean with them or with a third party?

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Definitely for Garrett, I can tell you. :grimacing:

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Will there be a chance at redemption if we continued our path of selfish bloodshed though?
Or is it instant bad end lock.

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Umm, I’m not the best at voicing my opinions (especially since my thoughts are same as others) but I wanted to show my love for this WIP. I’ve been following this story since it was first posted on the forums and have enjoyed it since!

Everything is great, like setting and characters (that we’ve met so far, of course) are just wonderful. I can’t wait to meet the other characters and ROs and see how the plot unfolds from this point on. ^^

I want to do something to show my enjoyment in some way, and since I can’t draw very well, I did the next best thing! I made my MC with one of these avatar maker games. :> I’m so sorry if I did something wrong.

Summary

From here : http://www.rinmarugames.com/playgame.php?game_link=mega-fantasy-avatar-creator

Her name is Eliana, she uses a sword as her main weapon. A total sweetheart but becomes stoic in certain situations (like when meeting the bandits and talking about a certain bastard), prefers a more finesse fighting style and will not kill unless absolutely necessary. Also she is faithful and a team player, can be rather careful in most situations.

Wants to be best friends with Alessa, even if they don’t always agree on certain things.
Has a growing crush on Hadrian, but hasn’t realized his feelings for her yet. Thinks he’s just being a good friend.
Doesn’t really like nor dislike Billy, will stick with him to the bitter end but won’t be heartbroken if he just leaves her one day.

I’m sorry about the colors (mainly the background and shirt), I didn’t want it to look like a colorful mess but I ended up making a colorless mess instead. I was going to make her eye color grey but I wanted some more color. Also, was going to do a pink background (and call it “Hadrian vision”) for a joke but I don’t think people would find that funny.

I also wanted to make ones for Alessa and Hadrian but I didn’t know if that would be okay with everyone so I just made my MC (and especially since people already made wonderful artwork for them). Although I would be happy to make ones for them if no minds.

Also, the thirst for Rafael on your tumblr is very entertaining, really made my day lol.

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Fanart is always welcome around here :slight_smile:

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I love this situation bit you wrote on Tumblr. So good, they are such cuties both of them.

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typos


Darkest

Sounds better as Undoubtedly imo but not sure if that way is proper too.

Sure twice

Can’t wait to break Alessa’s heart when I reject her lol

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You are a meanie…

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I can imagine how Alessa is going to exercise her vengeance , she will just convince Billy to halt abruptly when you are charging into an enemy, thus throwing you head first to the ground …and awaiting the “mercy” of your enemy :-):yum:

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That’s what I try to do! Take advantage of every little bit of inspiration I can get. Sometimes they are so rare to come by. If you do end up sharing it on Tumblr, tag me or something! I’d love to reblog it.

Proudly.

With your companions, but mostly, with yourself.

Garrett was a former farm boy, so there won’t be anyone seeking his revenge or anything like it. But it was a brutal act, and sometimes there are more eyes on you than you may be aware of.

No instant bad end. I’ll try my best not to make the game as black and white as that. But if you dive too deep into the rabbit hole it eventually gets very hard to climb out.

Please, have no fear of voicing your opinions, no matter how similar to others they might be. I can tell you that I love reading every comment, no matter how small.

Eliana is gorgeous! She actually looks very similar to one of my main MCs that I use for playtest - Val. Also, a pink background for when Hadrian is looking at the MC is 100% accurate! I loved it :laughing:

@Baam took the words right from my mouth. All fanart - or fanfic, or what have you - is greatly appreciated. I squeal like a little girl everytime someone sends one to me lol.

Thank you for following my WIP, and your very kind words :slight_smile: I loved reading about Eliana. I think I’ll make a document with all the MCs people are kind enough to share. With their traits and motivations- great inspiration for when I’m writing all those personality choices.

@PlantHoarder can I nominate you as the official Tumblr link person? :wink: I’m glad you liked it, I had fun writing it.

@Morphine Thanks for catching those! They’ll be fixed in the next update.

Alessa would never do such a thing. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart, where people have no choice in what they feel or how they feel it.

She can be upset if you choose to play with her feelings, however. But then, I think everyone generally is. But a simple rejection, especially between friends? She’d respect you for it.

A broken heart? Yes.
Petty revenge? Never.

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Right? If my mc doesn’t like her then that’s that. I’m not going to play around with her or anything, My mc will let her down gently but still I’m going to enjoy it

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So, you are saying, her vengeance would be anything but petty? :scream: :wink:

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Not a problem at all and thank you very much for your kind words! I’m glad you liked Eliana, I’m not used to sharing my MCs so I was a bit nervous to show her to everyone.

I hope you don’t mind but I made a meme for your tumblr and it’s thirst for Rafael. :>

Summary

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Hadrian is my man, this is absolutely lovely.

Although bastard thrist is really starting to be real :eyes::eyes::eyes:

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You can date the Hunky boi and join the Bastard thirst that’s what different playthroughs exist silly! Or you can do like Anathema and be a secret bastard stan :eyes:

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If I found other RO interesting, I’ll create a new MC for him. XD So far, I love how the author write this story and the characters so I wouldn’t mind creating multiple MCs if I found another RO interesting.

To be honest, Wayhavenn, Fallen Heroes nd Shepherds of Haven are the only HGs that I have multiple MCs for different ROs. But I got the feeling that I would include this title soon. I really love Hadrian so far!

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Hi @Anathema! Thanks for posting such a great project for us all to enjoy~

I’m loving the world you’ve created: a sort of AU medieval Europe deliciously flavored by ancient Rome, Christian domination, and magic and gods. Your worldbuilding is lush as well as detailed: I love that the culture colors the language, so that the idea of God (versus gods) is constantly on everyone’s minds and the character think of time in “moons” and “summers” instead of by a calendar that hadn’t been implemented yet!

I think the characters are your strongest point in the story so far: Alessa and Hadrian are vivid and unique. (Thank you for giving us the option to thorst for Hadrian so early and to have such disparate relationships with Alessa, from outright hostile to flirtatious.) I can’t wait to interact with them more and see how the story unfolds!

The MC’s personality, too, is wide-ranging and flexible: you put a lot of work into writing many different responses to situations for the MC, and it really adds to the role-playing experience!

My only quibble was that I found myself a little disorientated in the beginning of the labyrinth sequence. There’s a bit of narrative distance between the MC and the readers so that the MC seems to deliberately conceal information from the reader, so that it’s hard to ground ourselves in the situation. There were a lot of questions of “how did I get here? what am I doing? who are these companions? who is Tarek and what is the White Guild?” to “who is ‘he’ and what is his relationship to any of this?” that occasionally pulled me out of the story. If I had any suggestions for the demo, I’d recommend allowing the MC to think to themselves more exposition about their place in the plot: if it starts off too in medias res, the constant mysteries of the situation could be distracting.

All in all, this was a great start to a fascinating and creative world: I can’t wait to read more! I’m dying to know what far-reaching consequences my actions will have, like sparing Garrett the thief… Keep at it, and thanks for sharing!

Typos
  • He could not remember if he had locked the door, but he doesn’t dare to look up. (tense change: past to present)

  • A single dying candle fights the surrounding darkness, its fading orange glow so weak it left (tense change: past to present)

  • Heavy-lid eyes stared at her image (heavy-lidded)

  • The last remains of the once magnificent door fall to the polished marble stone floor. The crash is so violent it shakes the ground and dust rises like an ethereal cloud. Claws scrape the debris as It sprints towards him, desperate, famished, ravenous for blood, and flesh, and bone. (tense change: present when it should be past)

  • Silence reigned inside the tombs, its oppressive weight almost physical in the set of your shoulders and the space between your ears. Your own heartbeat feels like an insult and you barely resist the urge to hold in your breath. (tense change: present when it should be past)

  • it’s scarce heat gently licking your cheeks and the soft flesh of your lips. (should be its)

  • You bend down and bring your torch closer to the floor to inspect the olden rug. (olden is applied almost exclusively to descriptions of time and is not used for objects–maybe ancient would work here?)

  • “Better now”, you say sincerely. “Thank you.” (the comma should be on the inside of the quotation marks)

  • “There is no need to thank me. I am glad you are feeling better.,”

  • Wandering alone it’s just something you do not do.

  • “Help thyself, and God will help thee”, you quote and nod your head in agreement (comma should be on inside of quotes)

  • Hadrian flusters (grows flustered is more correct–if he flusters, he flusters someone else)

  • When choosing a weapon, Battleaxe and Spear are capitalized while the other weapons are not

  • Feeling slightly guilt, you tell yourself to focus back on the task at hand.

  • five silhouette’s stand perfectly still

  • The hours drag sluggish by (should by sluggishly)

  • What’s your name, child?" you ask him pleasantly and squad down to his level (should be squat)

  • Let Garrett go and borrow him a few coins. (should be lend)

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