HADRIAN!! This is so good.
He’s beauty, he’s grace, his sparkling sword can stab me in the face. Can I marry him now or
Thank you for your lovely comment! I try to give as much a range of personalities for the MC as I can, so I’m glad you like the sarcastic options. If anytime you feel like there isn’t a dialogue or reaction option to fit your MC’s personality, I would really appreciate being told! It’s one of the things I most worry about, to be honest.
I’m honor you even mentioned Diaspora. That’s one of my favorite WIP’s on this forum, and if my demo even vaguely reminded you of it, I take it as a big compliment.
Thank you for spotting those typos! Although as @Dartknight said, I’m not sure the first one is incorrect? I may end up changing that sentence anyway, just to be safe.
@SmolPirate is a great artist. She did another drawing of Hadrian with her MC, and I am in awe
So… oh my gosh?!? I absolutely adored the demo!!! I consider myself to be pretty picky when it comes to WiPs on the forum, so when one completely and utterly ensnares me right from the get-go, I can’t help but get super excited! You’ve done an amazing job so far, and I can’t wait to see what comes next!
The interactions between the characters is fantastic, and there was never a point that anything felt forced or out of place. Your sentences and scenes flowed really well, and I especially enjoyed the fight scene with Will and his group. I also really liked how much character got through in your writing, if that makes sense? I really got a good feel for Alessa’s and Hadrian’s characters in the interactions they had with each other, the MC, etc. (I adore them by the way; Hadrien is adorable and Alessa makes me swoon). I feel like there was also a good amount of choice to shape MC’s own character, and I loved that the personality I had for the MC in my head was one I could put down through my choices.
All-in-all, I have nothing but praise for your current demo! I wish you luck with your writing!
Oh. Thank you so much for your comment, it just made my night.
I’m very happy to hear you liked Alessa and Hadrian, and especially that you felt like you could shape your MC the way you wanted. Of course, the plot demands certain limitations - you must always be a mercenary, for example - but I really want to give the player the chance to build their own character.
Also, that fight scene was hard for me to write, so to hear that you enjoyed it feels irrationally good.
I’ll do my best to not disappoint in future updates
Also, a small announcement if you will. I recently caved in and went ahead and made a Tumblr for The Golden Rose! I’m still working out the kinks, but the blog appears to be able to run for now.
It’ll be posting content soon. If any of you is interested, come say hi!
Well… i like being a mercenary, i suppose we can upgrade our carear later on… like earn enough money to buy our own keep…
Perhaps being hired as general in one of the province… heard of el cid ? I think he had been hired to be a general in multiple province before settling in Valencia
Hello, just want to say that I loved the demo so far. I really felt like I was playing DA for some reason. I am looking forward to future updates and hopefully the finished product. One thing that I really loved was the characters and their interactions. They felt very natural to me, not forced or anything.
I have a question though: I think some people will not choose the attraction choice during the first part since they don’t know the ROs much yet, will this effect their chances further down the line?
Hi, resuri! Super happy you decided to give my demo a go, and even more that you enjoyed it
The way it works is that there are flags for either if you’ve encouraged romantic connections or discouraged them. IF you have done either - not flirt or remain oblivious - then Alessa and Hadrian still have a crush on the MC (if you have a high friendship, of course).
If so, they will approach the MC (or keep awkwardly trying to approach you) or you will have further opportunities to begin the romance.
So, long story short: Absolutely not! You shouldn’t have to jump at the first flirt option to be able to romance a character. If you decide to wait, the romance itself will move at a slower pace.
Hope that answers your question!
I’m glad you don’t mind being a mercenary. The MC’s circumstances and how they got to where they are will be explored in the future.
I can’t really comment about keeps and generals, however. I’ll leave that to your very vivid imagination
I adore this so far and can’t wait to see more of it! The writing style flows so well, and is easy to read. I already absolutely love Hadrian, Alessa and Billy, and will protect them at all costs.
What stuck out to me the most is how relieved I was to be able to play as a character that’s more aloof/introverted without it immediately wrecking the romantic relationships. That was such a breath of fresh air compared to so many games I’ve played, and felt so much more natural (for awkward people like me).
Your style reminds me of the way Seraphinite writes for Wayhaven, which I only use as a comparison in terms of glowing praise.
I already posted this qon tumblr, but I need to gather more followers on this important mission.
I just realized I haven’t left a comment here despite having read this multiple times so here I am!
I just want to say I am utterly in love with your story and everything in it. It’s really amazing how you’ve managed to make everyone fall in love with your characters so easily (even Billy’s gettin some love damn boy!) I also love how easy it is to establish my MC’s personality, and how they just fit so easily with that I have pictured! This is probably one of the many few wips where I absolutely adore my MC, he’s like my child now???
Anyway! I wish you all the best for this story and I hope you’re having fun writing this just as much as I’m enjoying it! (also i’ve already mentioned this on tumblr but I’m truly at your mercy here, waiting for that heart clenching angst)
under the cut is me gushing about my mc open at your own risk
Okay so I just adore my MC so much I want to share him to the world? I even drew him even though I have absolutely zero talent in drawing sooo that says a whole lot about my attachment for this lil guy I guess??
His name is Kailin and he’s a sarcastic little (literally, he’s quite short) shit. He’s just the type to deflect to humor and his charm whenever possible so he ain’t really the most open and honest person here.
He thinks he’s fine being alone but he’s too stubborn to admit that he feels lonely and craves companionship and affection. He’s extremely loyal to his friends and will always be ready to throw hands (or in his case daggers) for them.
Like Alessa he’s also not the most faithful person, but unlike her he just Can’t actively oppose with whatever Hadrian’s saying bc uhhh he might have a just a little bit (or so he says) of a crush on him. And since he’s a mischievous lil shit, he enjoys flirting with Hadrian and making the huge guy blush every chance he gets. And if Hadrian were to flirt back he would probah be screaming and panicking inside, but of course, smooth as he is, he would just turn as red as a tomato and try his best to maintain enough composure to manage a flirty comeback (he’d probably spend most of the day stopping himself from grinning like an idiot after that)
This is how all romances should be in games, if you ask me. After all, we as a player come into the world not knowing much about anything, and the more we learn about people in these world, it can change how we perceive them - so games that lock you if you aren’t ready to get flirty first chance, well, they miss out since the creator(s) already put romance into the game.
So, props to you for this approach!
Glowing praise indeed. One I am entirely undeserving of. But thank you so much for your words, and for trying the demo.
Also, awkward MCs are important too and I will always try to write flustered options for them (if I ever forget, feel free to yell at me until I add them ).
@flocktrops To be fair… you can also try to collect them all with a Pious MC. Don’t limit yourself.
OH!! I love Kailin, I love your drawing and I love this whole post honestly.
Me right now
Thank you for sharing him! And you have amazing drawing skills, look at his hair and his mischievous smile, it’s fantastic. I can see his personality already just by looking at the picture. If you feel comfortable to share it on Tumblr I can gush even more about Kailin there
Billy’s getting the most love! And I love it. Just remember, you were the one to ask for said angst.
Yes, I’m aware Hadrian and Alessa’s romance can seem rushed to a lot of people. To be honest, you still have a long way to go with them in the game, but I do realize I gave the flirt option literally in the first conversation with the characters.
So to slow down and actually getting to know the characters first before making any advantage (or accepting advantages) is important. I’ll even try to make an oblivious route - in which the MC just doesn’t get that someone is actively trying to flirt with them - but I have to figure out how I would go about coding it. My coding skills… leave a lot to be desired, but I will try. Especially if there’s interest in this kind of thing.
I was not talking about your game, but games in general which include romances. Sort of like a lot of films - it happens quickly because they are limited in length. So, a lot of games are the same.
However, once you have played the game (like me, playing games I like over and over) then I already know which character I like or don’t like.
So, your approach is very nice, where you can romance later once you get to know them more. Sorry if I failed to convey this.
But what if I enjoy being a Heathen?
I never noticed how the relationship descriptions changed if you kill Garrett. For me, Hadrian went from friend to “prefers not to consider you.” Alessa remained the same but now she “keeps glancing my way”? I’m worried about that. Also I have a question, if we keep pushing Hadrian will we eventually clash? Steel vs steel I mean.
Hadrian is too cute
See, I dont think thise romances are rushed because they seem like you have known them awhile by the start of the game…not every romance in life (or IF) needs to be a slow burn. I get a little annoyed sometimes because i play my MC as myself (always) and I am super outgoing and flirty and if i want you I WILL GET YOU NOWWWWWWW
I think when people said romanced were rushed, it’s on the perspective of us readers. True that the MC might have known them for a while but from the reader’s perspective, we don know much about them yet.
But…we are not romancing them…our MC is doing all the romancing. So, to be fair it’s all good.
So an example…
Max is dating Brenda for 3 years now. But he never was able to gather his courage to talk to his parents about his girlfriend much less invite her to meet with his parents until now that is. So when they went to his parents and said they wanted to marry, his parents freaked out. Who is this girl their son wants to marry? He never talked about her. So it must be recently that they have met. Is this girl brainwashing their son? Blablabla… So, they actually have no idea who is Brenda? What kind of girl she is or her personality… For them she is a girl out of nowhere trying to marry their son. But Max knows almost everything about Brenda.
So there goes different perspective… totally understandable, but quite misunderstood.lol.
This is happening everywhere…