The Golden Rose: Book One by Ana Ventura

[SpaceMothman]

Witch’s owl, being all spooky and such.

[Anathema]

@Okami-Nora

Meanwhile, my main Male MC has a beard and you will have to pry it from his cold, dead fingers.

I was writing the facial hair options like "please don’t let it show I have a clear bias for beards, please…"

Shh

@Okami-Nora

Basically, he will need to be occasionally smacked with a neon-lighted sign in regards to some romantic cues (his lover could straight out say ‘TAKE ME’ and he’ll more often give the baffled response ‘take you where?’).

Alessa: So we have the night for ourselves…

Fenrir: …

Alessa: Do you have something you would like to do in mind, perchance?

Fenrir: … There is a book I’ve been meaning to read.

Alessa: I give up.

@Okami-Nora

If the Male MC didn’t know Alessa long enough and had tried to draw her closer on the horse, I imagined he would have had a broken wrist in response or been death stared that clearly said ‘don’t even think about it’.

Yes.

@Okami-Nora

It means that not only do I feel a connection with the MC (and hence this story’s events/world), but I already feel just as invested in the characters and their own journeys.

Thank you!

@Okami-Nora

Ah yes. I’ve been enjoying the dear the dear crow’s drawings a great deal.

Especially if the swimswim and flapflap.

Crow’s drawings are amazing,yes. We can agree!

And I will never forget who started the flapflaps

@overplays

I think having that second chance before you’re locked out of the early game same-sex option entirely would be good. Players might not understand the opportunity they’re missing, or, in my case, be playing an MC who’s not so picky about who patches them.

Something to consider. It is a rather small window of opportunity, I acknowledge that. Especially since players might be losing a full romance route simply because they haven’t picked one option.

I’ll think about it. To be honest, the thought of going back to chapter one is a haunting one, but I also believe it would make the game more balanced…

Do you ever shake your fist up at the sky and curse your past self? It’s what I’m doing right now.

@overplays

In more important news: Alessa’s freckles are so cute and I want to smooch ALL of them.

They are incredibly cute. She can be so very incredibly cute.

@Taylor_Enean

There could be another a tweaked option at that first ‘patch me up’ scene where the MC is sort of relieved that the one they are interested in won’t be touching them, because they might give away the fact they are attracted to them?

That’s a good idea, but one that I won’t be implemented at least until the game is over. Might go back and write choices for a route where the MC is not oblivious, but hiding their crush from Hadrian and Alessa. So they would still confess, thinking you aren’t aware, when you pretty much are.

Right now, that would mean writing two new entire endings. It is in my notes. I won’t forget it, but right now that path will be unavailable.

I really like that inner dialogue you wrote. Definitely storing it for later

@Taylor_Enean

Not sure how I have missed it before, but when getting to the gates and pushing our horse to get there, there’s the scene with falling off that has an inconsistency:

Nice catch! Thank you, Taylor, once again

@Eric_knight

to be honest because you give lives to some non-player characters who may ( or may not ) have minor roles in your story , and it always keep me wondering whether such character(s) hold some role in future encounters…

Ah, that is such a huge compliment! For me, having a complex world always meant having rich characters. So even if I sometimes get mad at myself for the extra work, I can’t help but put some personality in minor (or not ) characters the MC can encounter.

Horse master Sarah is kinda like that. It’s not a spoiler she won’t have a significant role in the story, but I like her personality all the same

@Eric_knight

Alessa noticed this and may had develop sort of jealousy ? mistrust to my gesture towards Valen ?

Ohh Alessa noticed. Of that, you can have no doubts.

@Eric_knight

Well. i am glad i had already successfully romanced Alessa

Just to be clear, I know the achievement says “successfully romanced Alessa/Hadrian” but it is in no way either locked or finished. I’ll actually change that.

You have initiated the romance at this point. The tavern scenes were the first “proper” romance scenes for Hadrian and Alessa. You are not committed yet - still some distance away from that - and not “official”. Still many more events to happen, conversations to be had, troubles to overcome…

@Eric_knight

is Valen and that tavern lady a potential RO

The lady in the tavern is named Ysabella. Her twin and male counterpart is named Alain.

Are they ROs? But they are quite interested in the MC, yes.

@Eric_knight

I am betting some future players will most likely delay the early romance to have a chance to romance either Valen or that tavern lady , because you had done a great job in delivering an enigmatic aura to them , in which players will likely longing for a future romance with them

Thank you! I’m so glad you like Vallen and Ysabella. But again, you are not locked out of any choice. Even when you become official with an RO, the MC will still have agency so to say.

What you do with your agency is entirely up to you. And your conscience.

Thank you for the review, Eric! I’m very glad to see you back

---

@SpaceMothman Gorgeous! I love, LOVE, love that artwork, Mothman. Thank you so much for sharing it!

And the blood moon aesthetic? I’m in love - and jealous I didn’t think of it first.

[Taylor_Enean]

@Anathema

I really like that inner dialogue you wrote. Definitely storing it for later

Thank you, glad you liked it, and as for the rest, it is your (awesome) game after all.

But, if I may suggest it, perhaps hint at there is attraction in that last option where you request the other companion to patch you up? Since that would a) allow those wanting to pursue it the heads-up and b) the opposite for those not?

[Okami-Nora]

@Anathema

I was writing the facial hair options like " please don’t let it show I have a clear bias for beards, please…"

Shh

@Anathema

Alessa : So we have the night for ourselves…

Fenrir : …

Alessa : Do you have something you would like to do in mind, perchance?

Fenrir : … There is a book I’ve been meaning to read.

Alessa : I give up.

(I’m getting flashbacks to when Leluana tried to ask my Dwarf Warden to bed, but he was kinda clueless about it until she literally made him spell it out. Must do Golden Rose parody of that moment).

Alessa: How about I aid you in writing your latest entry for your nightly journal?

Fenrir: (Is absent-mindedly beginning to write with quill) Sure; Tarek would want as many details about this current endeavor as possible (mutters under breath) old man’s more of a handful than Billy.

Alessa: (Raises eyebrow at the comment about Tarek, but lets it sldie for the time being) ‘Dear journal, Alessa has been quite affectionate this evening. Even invited me to come to bed with her. Alas, subtlety is lost on me’.

Fenrir (Proceeds to write the words with great focus, murmuring a few under his breath…and then his quill snaps in half as his face gets scarlet)

Alessa: Aaannnd now he gets it.

Gotta say though, Alessa gave up hilariously quick.

But pretty much this; the poor man needs a little guidance on this. Couldn’t even figure out why Alessa got stiff at the grumpy innkeeper’s comment or why the nice stranger randomly handed him a drink.

Or why Vallen was possibly staring at him (though to be fair, I’M nit even sure why she was staring at the MC).

@Anathema

Crow’s drawings are amazing,yes. We can agree!

It’s really fun to see the characters expressions, the use of color for the moods and just see them interact in the little scenarios. Crow really brings it all to life.

@Anathema

And I will never forget who started the flapflaps

I did send you a hawk in regards to Horus, so that should have been foreshadowing.

Should I make a remark about the swimswims…nah, that passed.

@Anathema

The lady in the tavern is named Ysabella . Her twin and male counterpart is named Alain .

Are they ROs? But they are quite interested in the MC, yes.

Interest can be dangerous. And I always have a hard time trusting characters who are too smooth with their honeyed words. It’s like they’re saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Basically, the twins are probably the two characters I feel the most wary curiosity toward. Who knows what goals they got. Or what reason MC has peaked their own interest.

[IvoryOwl]

Out of curiosity, is it possible to romance Hadrian as an atheist? Personally, I’m looking forward to meeting other ROs because right now none of the options really fit my MC. One is too religious and the other is the wrong gender (poor Alessa, saved my character’s butt twice, diffused an annoying situation and developed a crush on him… but her love will go unrequited).

And for the love of god, don’t you dare harming or killing Billy! Too many authors like to do that to the story’s pet or mascot…

[Okami-Nora]

@IvoryOwl

Out of curiosity, is it possible to romance Hadrian as an atheist?

Here’s a post about it. Basically you can, but he may start having some concerns at some point.

Anathema Fiction

@IvoryOwl

And for the love of god, don’t you dare harming or killing Billy! Too many authors like to do that to the story’s pet or mascot…

Authors can be far too aware of one of the surefire ways of breaking a reader’s heart: take away the pet.

Think Bully is too stubborn to go down easy though. He’d pull through the toughest days just so he can give MC a hard time.

[Eric_knight]

Even though i am not fond of Billy, i did unsaddle and walk just so he could had a break … and enjoying the waiting of the Red guard for me to arrive slowly…

@Anathema, if I am befriending or romancing Vallen, do it means i am allying with Red Guard ? And the way they annihilated a noble house remind me of the demise of Knight Templar in France…

And i enjoy those options of replying via the words of Lord, but at the same time i am also fascinated with the Coin and the old gods… I am fearful i might end up like the knight templar in the end …Lol

[Anathema]

@Eric_knight

if I am befriending or romancing Vallen, do it means i am allying with Red Guard ? And the way they annihilated a noble house remind me of the demise of Knight Templar in France…

The Red Guard did not annihilate the last ruling noble house. The Church did.

With the help of the current ruling House: The Theers.

---

Writing Update!

So yesterday I’ve started doing something I’ll admit I’ve never done before: Outlining a chapter.

I usually let my pen take me where it will, but I’ve come to realize that long-term that’s neither advisable nor viable. It has been going smoothly! I’m almost done, and there is one particular scene I cannot wait to get to. Hopefully, tomorrow I can start actually writing! I’m very excited.

Let us deal with one pesky thief.

---

In other news, I’ve decided to open Ko-fi commissions!

Here is the link, if anyone is interested: Ko-fi

[heavens_way_out]

eeee, I certainly can’t wait.

[Taylor_Enean]

@Anathema

something I’ll admit I’ve never done before: Outlining a chapter.

I usually let my pen take me where it will, but I’ve come to realize that long-term that’s neither advisable nor viable

I know that feeling, I am a by-the-seat-of-my-pants writer too at heart (well, when I do manage to write these days), so glad to hear you manage to get that done.

Maybe you can point to what you did? I have tried a couple of ways myself and, well, yeah.

[Arcane_warrior]

I just love how ruthless you can be in this and i just love how you can make your character not care about anything amazing work.

[Flaine1996]

Just managed to play your demo and i honestly love how it just sucks me in right off the bat and how ive fallen deeply in love not just the RO’s but with the mc as well and the game is still ongoing! Cant wait to watch the progress with this! Keep up the great work :)!

[Karenira]

@Anathema I’m glad that my little literary monster managed to make your day.

@Anathema

Ah, the title! I’ve actually had people allude that they skipped my demo at first because the title just didn’t grab their attention. It’s still a ways to go, but I will consider changing it for publication.

It’s not obvious now, but it does have a plot significance.

Changing the title at the late development stage might backfire. Especially if it has a plot significance. Yeah, you could potentially attract more people but at the same time some of those who already know about The Golden Rose but aren’t regulars might overlook the game after it gets published.

@Anathema

Oh. Just between us, I rarely use the Finesse trait. I use the Brutal a lot, so that’s something to watch out for. I need to start implementing Finesse raising choices.

Then I’ll wait for those choices with a bated breath. I always like when I have the choice between more direct and more subtle approaches.

@Anathema

I have a nasty feeling that I should be worried about lieutenant Vallen. She’s more unnerving than Alessa. No one is that bubbly and serves in a military force.

You were supposed to ease my worries! You’re not helping at all!

@Anathema

The saving system is a feature of DashingDon and it has been known to give some issues. I have no idea how it works, but hopefully, it didn’t hinder your gameplay too much.

I weren’t able to recreate this bug anyway, but it’s not the first game that suffered from it. Thankfully, it was a one-time disturbance for me, so it’s probably nothing to worry about.

[Anathema]

@Taylor_Enean

Maybe you can point to what you did?

I just organized every scene I want to put in the update. Where they go, when and how. Tried to limit the choices too. Tried to limit the characters.

I know I’ll probably add stuff as I’m writing, however.

@Karenira

Changing the title at the late development stage might backfire.

Hmm, I think you may be right. Plus, I think I’d have a hard time thinking of this project as anything else besides The Golden Rose.

@Karenira

I always like when I have the choice between more direct and more subtle approaches.

Will keep in mind! I’ve used the trait more in the combat scene. I’ll have to figure out exactly what “Finesse” means in conversation. In inner dialogue. In body language.

Thank you again for bringing it to my attention!

[IvoryOwl]

@Anathema

Will keep in mind! I’ve used the trait more in the combat scene. I’ll have to figure out exactly what “Finesse” means in conversation. In inner dialogue. In body language.

The way I see it; apply a mace to the face = brutal.
Apply the same mace to a knee, in order to disable but not outright kill = finesse.

Also a brutal person may not care about whether they’re intimidating or not, they probably prefer it when everyone else skitters away from them or cower in their presence, whereas someone with a bit more finesse will hold their tongue, be more subtle and or just try to blend in. The former can sometimes be mistaken with ruthlessness but there is a difference here:

• Ruthless is the opposite of merciful so someone who kills and doesn’t stop until there’s no one left, or does it to break the morale of the rest of the (enemy) group. The latter indicates a forethought to their actions; they kill with purpose, deliberate. Like someone who slits the throat of a traitor in front of everyone else to make an example of it.
• Brutality means decimating foes to shreds, using the most devastating blows and leaving behind a path of carnage. They care little for the consequences of their actions other than bringing their foe down. Your enemies cowering at the thought you’re going to tear them to pieces like a savage dog. They can be merciful though; spare those who admit defeat or plea for mercy.
• Finesse usually implies speed and precision - a quick, premeditated death. An arrow to the neck or a blade to the heart, all to bring your foe down as quickly as possible without wasting too much time or ammunition on them. Stealth and subterfuge can be included here as well. Fluidity - moving in and out of combat before your enemy can strike… or even knows you’re there.

[Dartknight]

Here is how I would describe the difference:

Brutal:

Finesse:

Brutal is doing something in a simple and usually extreme way to ensure that it gets done

Finesse is doing something as efficiently as possible and can require more skill or complexity.

[Karenira]

If I were to be horribly technical I’d say that I see Brutal as lifting something heavy using only your strenght. Finesse would mean using a lever instead.

@IvoryOwl

Also a brutal person may not care about whether they’re intimidating or not, they probably prefer it when everyone else skitters away from them or cower in their presence, whereas someone with a bit more finesse will hold their tongue, be more subtle and or just try to blend in.

It could also be the choice between being more intimidating or more persuasive.

@Anathema

I’ll have to figure out exactly what “Finesse” means in conversation.

How to use Finesse in dialogue scenario? Well, if we’d treat persuasion as something that adds to/uses Finesse trait it could open quite a few possibilities: bribery, using our charm, being manipulative, lying as a tool to get something, be it information or something else entirely. I think there is a lot that could be done with this trait.

As for the fights itself, I can imagine that a brutal person could choose to kill or maim all opponents, a more sophisticated person could decide to aim only for the leader. Alternatively, it could also be the choice to create a trap so the fight ends faster.
I see a lot of possibilities here. Yes I know: those possibilities could also mean a lot of work for you.

[Taylor_Enean]

Thank you, @Anathem. Basically you got scenarios you want and then arranged them in order. I shall try that, should I end up writing a CYOA again.

[Anathema]

@IvoryOwl @Dartknight @Karenira
You all gave me a lot to consider. And wonderful points. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts!

@Taylor_Enean

I shall try that, should I end up writing a CYOA again.

If you do, be sure to let me know, Taylor!

Sorry I was not much help, but as I said, I’m pretty bad at outlining . There are some wonderful resources online, however. Like this one. It isn’t CYOA specifically, but I still think it can help

[Okami-Nora]

Anathema Fiction

@Anathema If you ever getting in a mood to mess with your readers (and if it’s not too much of a pain on your end), you really should consider that idea of putting in a option to inspect fire and make it a achievement out of it. It’d be funny to see how many readers would choose to stare at the fire throughout the story.

Or just a option to inspect completely random things in general.