Please do not ask for updates regarding this story.
Really nice story line and a great read can’t wait for other chapters
Hey, yo, played this game a while ago, played it around 4+ after the first.
Keep up the good work chief!
Got some good shit going on here.
I quite enjoyed the game. Trying to build an army as the powerful offspring of an angel and a demon is badass. I like how I can choose whether to tear or talk my way through certain situations. I think my favorite choice was to playfully scare that one guard, it was a very ‘I have power and you can’t do shit about it, bitch’ kind of moment lol, and I wish there were more moments where I could ‘play’ like that with humans and casually show off my power over them.
About the arena match. Some of the choices to my people losing led me to believe that I would be able to punish the idiots for the embarrassment that they caused me…? But by the end of the demo, it seemed like the arena loss was like it never happened. As an example, when Riva told me that she would lead my army in chapter 3, I really really REALLY wanted to have the option to tell her to fuck off or at least, “You already disappointed me in the arena match, tell me why should I entrust you with a whole army?” I REALLY didn’t want her to be leading any army.
On the topic of followers, I think it would be nice if we could hang out with them or have a talk. To get to know them better and maybe even bond. As it is now, we don’t really do much with them apart from the original meeting.
I also want to touch the POV changes in the game. While I think you really nailed some parts of it, I do have issues.
Seeing others react to my character is really fun. How they get scared, how they lose their breath, how they get intimidated. I play a chaotic neutral character, and seeing others react like that to my character is amazing and satisfying af xD. It’s also like a nice mini-break for the player to just sit back and read.
BUT (I don’t know if this is the case with the other champions as well since I recruited Riva) the POV change to her was far, far too long. What other kingdoms do, what battles were fought where, locations etc. these things, for me, as the player, were both too heavy and out of place. The only thing that stayed with me was the fact that one of the kingdoms uses mercenaries for their army. And that’s a bad thing if I’m supposed to remember all that was written about the various kingdoms. I think either removing them, breaking them apart and sprinkling them to various parts of the story, or creating codex entries for them in the menu would be a better alternative and would help players not feel overwhelmed by the influx of information.
But anyway, that’s all I had to say. I may add a few things when I replay the game. Thank you for reading.
The Champion and the Mage that was chosen are actually companions and not followers(I refer to them as ‘main companions’). For now, they seem like servants, but as the story progresses I intend them to build a friendly relationship with the MC. ‘Punishing’ them would be somewhat counterproductive.
*the characters that can actually be referred to as followers would be Gladius, the three Cardinals, and even the Ro Owan Generals.
The MC is building an army, going to war against two races at the top of the food chain, and in that journey the main companions are the characters who will be the closest allies to the MC. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to pull it off, but I’ve always wanted this story’s spotlight to not be only on the MC, but also the main companions who were with them along the way. Hence, the changes in POVs. Think of it like having multiple characters, like an RPG, you don’t only get to control the main protagonist but also the secondary characters.
Also, the arena loss actually dictates whether Emperor Gideon would be healed or not. This scene after the assembly also differs if you lost or not.
Well the main reason why the MC recruited a Champion in the first place was because they needed someone to lead the army they will build.
That’s something I already intend to put in. As it is now, Chapter 3 is currently incomplete because of the side scenes where the MC gets to hang out with the Champions and Mages.
And for your last point…
This is my biggest dilemma. I have a crap ton of information about the world, how magic in this world works, the weapon enchantments, the races and their subraces, etc. (I enjoyed world building too much) When I read what I’ve written so far, I also got the impression that it was a lot of information at once. I thought it was just me since no one is really saying anything about it. But I’m already planning to rewrite those scenes and put the information on the countries on the stat page. There’s a lot of plans, really, but my free time is continuously declining…
Anyway, thanks for the feedback!
Now that I already put in the Champions’ side stories in Chapter 3, I wanna know which of them is the most preferred choice
- Odom, because of his skillset
- Odom, because of his personality
- Riva, because of her skillset
- Riva, because of her personality
- Sylvan and Baptiste, because of their skillset
- Sylvan and Baptiste, because of their personalities
I want an all ladies group so I picked both riva and the Golem maker . And they make a good team and pair .
I tried all of them , and gotta say so far they are all interesting . The necro , the shaman and the demo in the blade . But whats his name ? the 1st guy who is skilled like Hercules? I found him terribly boring . He is the only one though .
Here’s a sneak peek of the 4th chapter!
Sneak Peek 1
Your hand pushes forward to catch the assassin by the neck. Though most of her face is covered by an intricately woven shawl, you see the momentary fear in her white eyes. And so you allow yourself to smile.
Only for it to immediately fade away.
You weren’t able to hold onto her. Her entire self suddenly dissolves into a dark smoke, your hand grasping nothing but thin air. You immediately spin around to see her standing by the door which is slightly ajar. She stands alert and on guard. And though she’s inches away from freedom, there is no sign in her slender body that she intends to take it. Not that she actually can.
“Who sent you?” You ask.
“The people from Retther,” she replies. “They made a mistake in putting a reward on your head. The same goes for me for trying to claim it.”
“And you’re impossibly powerful.”
The assassin lunges. You spin around, swinging your arm to knock them out in a single blow. But you hit nothing, the assassin tumbling in midair. As you stagger from your own momentum, they land by your feet and straight into a crouch. In both their hands, you see them wield a small scythe the size of a dagger. One of the blades slices towards you as they leap upward, cutting the side of your cheek. But before they can blow past you, you grab them by the arm and throw them across the room.
Impressively, they recover from the throw, forcing their small body to land neatly on the carpeted floor. Their hood falls back revealing their feline face marred with dark spots. They look up at you, and hisses. Their body clearly taking the stance to attack once more.
You allow your light to emanate from you, illuminating the dark room. The assassin shrinks away into the corner of the room. Their eyes shifting from you to the door.
“Don’t even think about it,” you warn. He stops, and looks you up and down. “Who sent you?”
“You’re strong.” They don’t seem to be ignoring you, but rather distracted by you.
“Who sent you?” You repeat.
“The people from the south, near the Undead forest.” The reply shoots out quickly from their mouth, as if on instinct. From the tone of their voice you identify them as male.
He pushes from the floor and eagerly walks up to you. “You’re stronger than the Elves.”
“You have no idea.”
She boldly approaches you, her hips swaying with every step. The thin strand of moonlight filtered by the curtains lights up her face as she passes the window, revealing a confident smirk on her sharp lips.
At the edge of your vision, you see a faint glow from the three rings on her left hand. As the small inscriptions on each ring glows brighter, three daggers unsheathe from her waist, rising slowly behind her to float over her head and shoulders.
“It’s okay, it’ll be alright,” she says softly, not to calm you, but to rile you. “Just be a good (boy/girl) and this won’t hurt one bit.”
But then she stops, frozen in fear by (the look on your face/your appearance) once she sees you clearly. Though instead of backing away, she attacks, her daggers cutting through the air towards you. But you simply swipe them away, to the assassin’s shock.
Reaching your hand forward, you attempt to pull out your sword from the pocket of light where you keep it. But your body stops, as if somebody else is in control of you. Your eyes flick to the only other person in the room.
Her surprise is taken over by a half-triumphant and half-relieved smile. “Didn’t I tell you to be a good (boy/girl)?” She taunts, raising her right hand in front of her, one of the rings on her fingers glowing just like earlier.
It’s the rings. But it doesn’t matter, her hold on you isn’t strong enough. With a grunt, you easily break free. Your sword appears in your grasp, and before she can react, you point the sharp tip on her throat. The fight in her eyes swiftly disappears.
“Who sent you?”
With bated breath, she replies, “If I tell you, will you let me go?”
You shrug. “Why not?”
“The Remainders. They’re an assassin guild based in Retther.”
“Good.” Lowering your sword, you step closer towards her. “You’re going to take me to them.”
wait wait…there are idiots mortel who think they can assassinate a God ? like seriously?
I love it! Btw I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE Your story! it cant be said enough !
Yep, and they were immediately proven wrong
Turning those assassins who tried to kill the MC into companions have been interesting though
I think the 2nd assassin is the most hilarious one personally . His brain is going ‘‘Can’t compute!’’ and yet trying to find a logical explanation…and cant computer…the look on his face when he say ‘‘you are strong’’ and ‘’ stronger then the elves’’ …Oh god…plz…make your auntie be there and she goes ‘‘WIDE EYE FACEPALM’’
That’s exactly what would happen
Ooookay I’m so going with the 3rd assassin. That just sounds so good for me.
And I’ve tried Riva’s side story so far and I’m surprised to learn that she’s high nobility through her grandpa’s and dad’s accomplishments. Wouldn’t have guessed that coming from the person who was a simple scout at the beginning.
How come I can’t win the traditional at all
You’re supposed to stick with the champion and the mage’s strongest stat. If the stats are at 50 then stick with one course of action throughout the fight. Like for example Kincaid using his necromancer abilities to create a massive skeleton cage around the Imperal Wizardess then have him finish the fight by himself via summoning the dead fighters as wraiths.
They also need a good relationship with each other I think.
Yeah I think the same as well.
What about if you chose the goblin or exiled mage
Same as before. Stick with their strongest stat that you gave them or stick with one course of action if both stats are at 50