The Fallen Divine (WIP-Ch4 part 2 Update-06/30/2019)

I would love to beta test this game

Your demo is fantastic! The lore is intriguing, and the characters are engaging. The idea of shifting between perspectives adds dimension to the story, and the interactions between the characters are very entertaining. I noticed several minor grammatical errors, but such are to be expected during the first draft. However, there is one possible aberration that I would point out. when you wrote -

“I don’t think I have a high opinion on them. I just think that they’re much more capable than they themselves even know. After all, they are the ancestors of the strongest immortals.”

  • did you mean to say ‘ancestors’, or would ‘descendants’ be appropriate here? And if you did, in fact, intend to write ‘ancestors’, who are these immortals? Are you referring to some sort of robots, or A.I.?
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This is truly amazing! The characters, the atmosphere, the story… You are really talented. I will eagerly wait for new updates dear writer. :slight_smile:

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This is still on going right? Cause this really got my attention.

Yeah it’s still going on. Just a slow pace I believe.

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Thank God. The last time I loved a story, turned out it was already cancelled so, yeah.

This story looks great :smile:

The humans came first before said ‘strongest immortals’, so ‘ancestors’ should be the right term. The immortals referred to are the Incarnates. The lore page explains more about these immortals.

Yes this is still being worked on. Unfortunately, school and work has been severely cruel for me that’s why I’m not able to progress much in the past couple of months. But things are finally starting to settle down, and hopefully I’ll be able to put in more time for this.

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No wonder. I hope you can find time to take a rest too. I’m now a fan of yours. Great story and wish you luck!

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@DzHonest Thank you for the clarification. The section titled “first five immortals” states that the Incarnates were the first humans, and among the first inhabitants of Elysis, yet there seems to be a bit of contradictory wording under the section titled “the birth of the Immortals”. Initially this seemed to be a contradiction within the lore, but after your clarification, I can see that it is a matter of wording. You have designed a very intriguing world.

Random fan prediction: I feel like heaven and hell will unite just to try kill the MC. Ik the angels are pissed and demon have to pissed due to being locked in hell all this time sooo I can see it

Well the MC is probably the biggest threat to both Heaven and Hell that they could ever experience.

That and it seems like we’re going to have an army of humans and other species to help fight against both angels and demons. Even Sariel said at one point that even humans can kill an angel or a demon if they know how to so I assume that with that army, you become a bigger threat to them.

It’s going to be so fun though.

Well your Aunt is leading the demons right now. And she’s apparently coming to help you.

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Don’t forget the demon blade being loyal to you too if you picked the human with that as the champion.

I prefered the girl with the magic sword instead.

It’s 50/50 between Odom and the other guy. Pretty rare that I pick the girl.

Who’s the mage that you went with? I usually went with the golem specialist

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That’s the female right. To be honest I always just end making my entire group full of women. Guess because I watched Black Panther and the bald headed women were badass.

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Lol yeah the golem specialist is a female too.

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True but that doesn’t mean that everyone she is leading is happy to see me.

Right it will be…the possibilities of the story are endless… I for one would want to start a country below the sanctuary and let my champion conquer or ally with the other mortal factions in the world to build my power up that way