@KZV Thank you for both comments! Agreed, and those will be adjusted in the next update.
Vastan piece held: eye
Health: 70
Supplies: -1
Connect: 35
Discover: 62
Endure: 35
Oppose: 35
Recall: 53
Planner: 75
Passionate: 72
Pragmatic: 59
Questioning: 57
Initial pre-game activity: relic hunting
Room item picked up: folklore scroll
Rooms swept: library
River crossed: true
Herb-gathering success: gathered snow lily, tiger-wasp orchid, silver root
Deceased Guardian: Alyona
1 Like
Having had another playthrough, here’s another nitpick: the presence of potatoes as food seems a little bit out of place. For the most part the setting has a Eurasian feel - the names have an Eastern European feel and the climate is described as a “steppe”; the presence of tigers might push things further east, though historically they were found as far west as the Caucasus. Meanwhile potatoes are native to the Americas and didn’t make their way to Europe and Asia until the 1500s. Of course, it’s a fantasy setting and presumably not meant as a direct analogue of anywhere in the real world, but I still found that a little bit odd considering how distinctly Eurasian the rest of the setting is. Unless of course they were brought into the region during the more advanced age before Vastan’s Triumph?
1 Like
You’re right! I sort of thought I could get away with it, but I’m happy changing it if it feels off. They will have had a lot of trade with other regions, especially before the war between Vastan and Nerekay, but I want to keep it open-ended for the moment rather than pinning down those regions, and including potatoes as a non-native vegetable introduced a while back would understandably create assumptions about what the other regions are like.
1 Like
On the other hand, Britain had potatoes when it was still Middle Earth.
4 Likes
Fun fact: Tolkien (never one to do things by half measures) came up with an explanation for that by saying that “potatoes” in Middle-earth are actually a different plant called “earth-bread”, originally grown underground by the dwarves and later cultivated by hobbits.
2 Likes
Honestly the potato thing doesn’t really bother me, it is fantasy after all. I just thought I’d point it out in case it was an accidental oversight. If anything it makes the world feel bigger.
1 Like
An absurdity, everyone knows potatoes are earth-apples.
2 Likes
Could just do turnips.
One of the only really good wishes I’ve seen in fairy tales was from an Eastern European tale that is either “a magic bag of turnips that is never less than full” or (usually closer in to Russia) “a magic plate/bowl of kasha that is neverending.” Even the story admits that the heroine gets tired of her kasha or turnips very quickly, but also points out that she’s not hungry and I love the practicality of that.
1 Like
I’m thinking turnips are a good alternative if I end up changing it! Potatoes are so convenient for eating on the go, though… I’m on the fence as I do like establishing ways in which it’s not the real world, but also it can just come across as an oversight!
I love that Tolkien thing, I’d not heard that, and the fairytale is delightful! I’d certainly enjoy a practical wish of that sort 
1 Like
hi!!! this demo is so awesome harris i love ur writing style paired with this genre and the topics of the demo omg. i did want to ask, what’s the timeline for Parnu getting deserted and how does it line up with Vastan’s fall in ch. 1? from the description in ch. 2’s beginning, when the scout first goes to the abandoned general store, it reads to me like Parnu has been abandoned for a good while (rat droppings everywhere, bags torn open, dusty interior, etc.), but the scout narrates a bit as though Parnu must have been deserted more recently (more in line with Vastan being attacked)? i may just be reading it a bit unclear but would love to hear ur input on the exact timeline there!
1 Like
Thank you so much! I’m really glad you’re enjoying it and the style! I think Parnu was abandoned a little while ago, sometime after the PC last visited - the dustiness, rats, mould etc is more accurate than wording suggesting it happened recently. I will have a look and make sure it’s clear! In general I’m going to do a big timeline/distance sweep once I’ve got the full draft done, to make sure time, distance, geography etc all make sense. I’ve made notes in the files to tell Future Harris where to focus on, haha!
1 Like
Got a couple pieces of feedback for you. First off, the end of demo stats:
An error:
To be clear about the error, I did not search the bag, but I did pick the second choice of wondering why she was there, instead of with everyone else.
And a remark on a choice set:
It wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility to also have a recall check here, would it? Survival guidebooks sold by traders, or gathered over time by the scouts might have advice that the MC could have read in the library about how to handle the situation.
The very last choice worked just fine for me despite not matching the potential requirements the check had, though, since the bear simply walked away after our group just stood there silently, and you aren’t of the opinion that such an early check should be game ending for not meeting the minimums here.
Just characterization food for thought, since my MC would absolutely be reading quietly in a library anytime he had downtime that didn’t need him out exploring as a scout.
1 Like
I’m beginning to suspect that that check is to see how much the bear munches out of the sack or something, because I had zero upgrades on any of the possible stats to use and the bear still walked away no problem.
2 Likes
@AdmiralLynx89 Nice, thanks for the error-spotting! I’d not realised there were still issues with that paragraph. I’ve put up a little update that fixes that, adds a Recall test for that choice set - it makes sense for a studious scout and is a nice moment, so thank you for the suggestion!
Success/failure on the bear test has an environmental effect that has knock-on impacts later on. It’s a pretty forgiving failure - I didn’t want the bear to attack outright because well… failing at that would make it hard to walk away afterwards, heh.
I also tweaked the descriptions of the estimated time of Parnu being abandoned, and the potential wounds inflicted on the attacker in Chapter 1. I’m on the fence about potatoes, I quite like including them as a signifier of it not being the real world but will have more of a think as I go.
4 Likes
Vastan piece held: claw
Health: 90
Supplies: 5
Connect: 46
Discover: 35
Endure: 51
Oppose: 55
Recall: 35
Planner: 24
Passionate: 68
Pragmatic: 28
Questioning: 66
Initial pre-game activity: hunting boar
Room item picked up: socks
Rooms swept: kitchens
River crossed: true
Herb-gathering success: gathered snow lily, tiger-wasp orchid, silver root
Deceased Guardian: Kira
1 Like
Not-really-fortnightly progress report
I squeezed in some Earth Has Teeth editing this fortnight which was really nice! I had some interesting player feedback that gave me food for thought about the PC’s thoughts and feelings being present or less so in places. Taking a look at it, I realised that it was true that in some places I was skimming over their speech or emotional tones - so on my version which isn’t updated publicly yet, I’ve expanded that so hopefully it will feel more solid and immersive.
As mentioned last week, I did update the demo with some fixes and tweaks here and there, so it’s neatened up and a little bit expanded at various points.
Hope you all have a good weekend!
6 Likes