The Discovering : Book One

Hey, it’s interesting so far. If you wanted to add plot detail but not ruin it, you could use the hide details button.

Like this one

Click the cog-looking button.

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Thank you ! And I have to say I’m a slow writter so I hope even with time you will all still be interested !

If you like something where you character will evolve and have a lot of choice going to a fearful character to a brat, a selfish one, a joyful one, ect…Then I hope with time you will be able to like it!

Anyway, if any of you know how to do perfect stats, just send me a private message with what is in game and what you think will be good already coded x)
Yeah I’m asking a lot I know.

I’m interested! So far I like the mystery as to what happened to MC and what or who the voice is! :smiley:

Although I did have some difficulties understanding what exactly was happening in the MC’s brain at times and found some grammar errors

Grammar Errors

Did I [asked] you what color is your skin? I don’t think so, what is it honey?

“asked” is supposed to be “ask”

And your height ? I’m sure [you’re] body is perfect, little one !

“you’re” is supposed to be “your”

Oh, I almost [forget] ! What color [are] your hair my sugar ?

“forget” is supposed to be “forgot”, and “are” is supposed to be “is”

In regards to your writing

In my opinion it seems a little unnatural and confusing at times such as:

Even if you’re not conscious, and if this voice is only in your head, you can slowly see your body be created just in front of you. Like if you were remembering yourself.

This sentence in particular made me a little confused as to what exactly was happening, although I’m guessing that the MC is aware of the fact that they’re somehow unconscious, and that there’s this voice in their head talking to them and then they see their very body being formed right in front of their eyes.

But the way that the sentence was constructed caused some confusion on my end, I recommend making it something like:

You’re unconscious. This voice that you’re hearing is only in your head you assume, but then you slowly see your very own body being created right in front of you — It was as though you were simply remembering yourself.

It causes some less confusion imo ((although forgive me if I misunderstood what was happening in that scene lol)

I also recommend getting either an english speaker, or a grammar A.I to check your writing! It should help out alot in pointing out mistakes present (although do keep in mind that grammar A.I’s aren’t always accurate so checking it manually at times is recommended)

But other than that, I wish you good luck on your writing and coding journey for your IF!! o7 love what you have so far!

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Not a lot of improvments but ! If I am posting this topic is certainly to be able, with all your helps, to create the game I wish to share with you !
So ! Does any of you know how to do a beautiful text like to say ‘Chapter One’ Or things like that ?
Also how do we write in bold, in italic, and more ? Like how can we write in a way that it looks like creepy and all ?

[b]Bold[ /b]
[i]Italics[ /i]

Like this but without the extra space.

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Oh thanks ! And is there a way to center without using space or tabs ?

Not directly, but you can read this for a better explanation: Text formatting | ChoiceScript Wiki | Fandom

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Alright ^^ And for saving ?

You can do it through Dashingdon. Go into edit details then check Use CJW’s smPluginMenuAddon?

Place the following code snippet in your startup.txt file before any story text:

*sm_init mygame | 3

Where ‘mygame’ is a unique identifier for your game (to prevent other games from overwriting saves) and ‘3’ is the number of save slots you wish to allow for your game (more than 6 is not recommended).

I write it exactly like you did ? ^^

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Yeah just something like:
*sm_init discovering | 6

The save system only works through Dashingdon but really helps for testing. Theres no official save system so most wips will use this one.

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Well it doesn’t work for me- ^^’ It’s saying that-

Yeah, it only works when hosted on Dashingdon. The save system, doesn’t work without the hosting service. Just upload the one with the code and remember to take it out while you work on it.

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It’s done- but it doesn’t work neither-

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You remembered to go into edit and check the box? What’s happening when you try to run it?

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Here what I have in Dashingdon-

I had to search for this, because I couldn’t figure it out lol. Maybe this can help?

Wait, it might just be the space between the and discovering, remove the space and see if it still works.

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Thank you ! It’s all good for me ! It’s working ^^

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Can u add an option to the hair styles to have be normal hair. I don’t like how u are forced to have a hair style if u don’t want anything done to it.

Well, what do you mean normal hair ? I mean- brown straight short hair it’s normal hair-