The Day After Ever After: A Cinderella Story (First draft entirely complete as of 7/10/22, latest update 8/7/22! Word count is 207,342 including commands. Releasing 11/3/22!)

Dang, I forgot to hit the box to make who voted visible. If anyone has feedback about it, please post it. All opinions are welcome but I especially want to know the stance of some of my more frequent testers here.

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In chapter six Cinderella and the prince can go on a picnic where they experience the fun of ticks and mosquitoes. Just based on how numerous both are, it reads as though it’s summer.

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Hmmm. Good catch. Maybe I can throw a mention in there that it is late fall and these are the last of them for the season. Enough days pass after that to hopefully make a move to early winter fit.

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Winter has a nice ring to it.

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Don’t usually play things that lack they/them pronouns for MC but checked this out anyways and urhghgh love it so far. Also?? Bill and Ted reference? Excellent!

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This is fantastic
I adore the fairy godmother character

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Thanks! I enjoy writing for Fiji. If this story does well and I do more in this vein (like the Little Mermaid one I had in mind as a second entry), Fiji will be the common thread linking them. The organization it serves will be that stand-in for all the various magical forces at play in pretty much any fairy tale.

@number1bloginheaven I am glad you have enjoyed it! I am a sucker for pop culture references in my stuff. Everything from Beastie Boys and Foo Fighters in Nuclear Powered Toaster to Commando and Archer in The Parenting Simulator. My favorite one in this so far is probably the Always Sunny reference but Bill and Ted was also fun. Tempted as I was to take it out after my wife and I rented the third movie. Woof, was that ever bad.

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New chapter is up, weighing in at 24,000 words and bringing the total to just a couple hundred words over 100k. Enjoy more fae fun and possibly eat an endangered species!

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That was great! Never expected those things to happen in such a short time. I can’t wait for things to unfold.

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I was playing the prince

In chapter 8 I was the prince spending time with Cinderella, I chose the lets end the monarchy option, then it randomly switches to Cinderellas perspective if your playing her and she’s romancing Ingmar

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So,if prince has a bad relationship with Cindrella,she literally makes a deal with a devil by cutting off her ring finger and giving it as a sacrifice,so that MC can die a brutal agonizing death.

That’s awesome.

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Thanks, I think I have that fixed now. Just forgot to put a *goto there. Decent chance at least one more of those pops up as people play the new chapter.

@anon32927332 Yes, someone saw one of the bad spouse endings! I wasn’t sure how many would even get the relationship that low with them to see it, and then also avoid making one of the choices that patches things up a bit. The king ones will probably be a bit more common, all too easy to make him dislike you. But all of them are fun to write. There’s already like eight or ten end states in the game now, maybe more. It’s my first time with premature endings or character death (aside from one of the Insanity endings in NPT), and I like to treat it as a fun way to do stuff like Ryan North did in To Be or Not To Be with unusual endings (there’s an ending path now that will eventually be marked with an achievement called All That’s Missing is the Impala, for anyone who can figure out that reference) or that old Choose Your Own Adventure hallmark, the unnecessarily violent ending that kinda comes out of left field. End states are almost as much fun as achievements, so even though I continue to work against too much spread, expect a fair amount more of them to pop up before all is said and done.

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Do my eyes deceive me or is this a WIP I have yet to go through :eyes:

In all seriousness I love the twist of the “Cinderella” story as this takes place after the main story. It is well made and has already drawn me into it (not to mention I love the Gaston reference with the eggs and the Pony wish) all in all I can see this story going far!

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This was the best chapter yet. I loved how it starts with the MC dealing with affairs of state and spending time with the ROs, showing the current status of the kingdom and the MC’s relationships, and then ends by (possibly) abruptly changing that status quo. I liked how the MC’s relationships are impacted by their plot decisions (such as choosing who will lead), and that previous plot points are showing up again (such as the thief and the army decision) depending on how the MC related to certain characters. I really liked that the story explores how far a person would go to get power in a magical world like this – and how you then give the MC the option to make that very same deal.

If I have any complaints, it’s that Savith seems really disconnected from the plot compared to the rest of the ROs. I also think that some of the panda variables should be adjusted a bit – if you get rid of the panda permanently, it’s odd that it has the same csupport impact as returning it while also having so little negative affect on kindness. I also thought the banquet option should have an even greater negative impact on kindness as well. The same thing if you go through with completing the deal – it seems like there should be an even bigger cruelty and shadiness gain than there already is just so the stats reflect the horror of going along with Velius.

Typos

Your wide array of tutors were tasked with making sure the heir to the throne knew not only about his own kingdom but was well versed in faraway lands as well, so you’re fairly familiar with these furry brutes.
I was playing as Cinderella – it seems like the *if (cin = 1) and *if (cin = 2) needs to be switched around here.

As if on cue, the ‘king’ lets out a loud, absurdly squeaky belch and begins to gnaw on one of the armrests.
Perhaps divide this paragraph for better readability.

With that resolved, you resume your seat.
The previous sentence uses the word “resume”, so maybe replace “resume” with another word here so it’s not as repetitious.

"Right, well, you wanted to know what was what.
I’d reword this sentence or have it change depending on whether the player chooses “Outrageous! I fully expect…” or “Frankly, being able to do things my way…” at the start of the chapter.

You clap your hands. “Please, enough! If we were asked here for help, we need the full story so we can know what to suggest. So will someone just spill it already?”
Make this its own paragraph.

This is met with stunned silence for just a moment, then the room explodes into a flurry of voices and activity.
This page is a bit long – you may want to start a new page with this as its first paragraph.

Without wasting another second, Fiji immediately closes its eyes and begins to concentrate on reaching out to find the Contract.
Perhaps divide this paragraph as well.

A terrific boon that ended up coming to nothing at all.
Add a quotation mark at the end.

Truly, I can think of nothing I’d rather do with my remaining time as a prince than sit back and watch Fiji and the king bicker like an old married couple.
I was playing as Cinderella.

Snuff it out wherever I find it. I will endeavor to protect this land and ensure Roderick’s rule, today and always.
It might be better if these options were reworded or changed depending on the player’s choices – if the player has never thought to take over then the second option doesn’t make sense as the MC had no previous plan, if they haven’t ever chosen to bring down the monarchy then the MC wouldn’t have had any proof let alone “further” proof, etc.

Not that this does a commoner like me any good.
In startup you have *create resetstatus 1, so in the stats screen this always shows up because it’s under *if (resetstatus > 0).

Looking forward to stopping King Aloycius! :relaxed:

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Magnificent! I spent the morning with some of your suggested fixes and tweaks, and I think that definitely tightened things up a bit. As for the kindness penalty if that particular deal is done, I want to leave the door open that someone can commit that horror yet still end up regarded as a benevolent ruler by those not in the know. Still, I freely admit that in general I’m not feeling the stats on this game overall. There are CS games that are games first and CS games that are stories first, and this is definitely the latter. I’m still struggling with finding good spots for stat checks and things.

As for Savith, hopefully I will render him more relevant in the next chapter, given his position and thus the position he may be placed in depending on what you choose to do. Even if I don’t have as much of a reveal for him as I do for Ilya (although people who bombed out on the relationship with her will already have seen it).

@TechNote Glad you found us. I update slowly, so it’d be easy to miss this story. An early poll showed that people prefer few updates with each one a decent size than constant small updates, so I have embraced that and only done an actual update to Dashingdon maybe 6 times in the last 10 months. I only anticipate a couple more updates before it is done, unless I do more as my aging laptop wears out just as a precaution against losing data.

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Wow I Cannot believe someone has bad spouse relationship, I mean Cinderella is to charming for me to go with other ROs lmaoo, it is just that the King are too close minded, I mean like why is he mad for me to funding future warfare, he should be proud of the MC not annoyed what is wrong with the king hahaha oh and doing charity make him go mad too lmaoo, charity can make a king reputation better or is he that greedy ??

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You should be praised for your fidelity! And Roderick is not entirely who I saw him as at the start, he came off a little harsher in the end. I see him as a man who rules harshly because he is, in turn, ruled by fear. Fear of being insufficient compared to his ancestors. Fear of being judged in turn by his descendants. And that fear tends to just paralyze him, prevent him from doing much of anything. He thinks if he can maintain the status quo, that will be enough, but inaction is itself an action and usually not a desirable one. And so whenever someone else does wish to do something, he regards it with suspicion, and concern that this will lessen the kingdom even as it breaks up piece by piece anyhow through his noncommital nature.

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I don’t, my game was just bugged at that part and it randomly thought I was playing Cinderella and dating someone else lol. My relationship was great with her, think it’s fixed now though.

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So, to fill in the time between updates, I thought I might do a little playthrough with pictures and commentary of Death Road to Canada, specifically the Four Jerks mode, and feature some of the Day After characters in a fight against the zombie hordes. Cinderella and The Prince will be two of the starters as our main characters, and the other two will be decided on by vote. I will post their blobby 8-bit digital selves here for your perusal. Traits and such were selected to be as close to their personalities as the game allows.

The Unusual Suspects










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Who should accompany our two MCs down the Death Road to Canada?

  • King Roderick!
  • Lady Emmalyn!
  • Ingmar Rostrum!
  • Mortimer!
  • Savith Aronius!
  • Ilya Norudkov!
  • Fiji!
  • Pat!
  • Pie!

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If Pie wins, I guess I will be forced to make a character named Pie with some really off-the-wall character elements.

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