I really like this game so far, your premise is quite interesting. I especially appreciate the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. reference.
The Day After Ever After: A Cinderella Story (First draft entirely complete as of 7/10/22, latest update 7/31/22 with all 50 achievements! Word count is 202,220 including commands. Final feedback and suggestions urgently requested before submission!)
I am definitely happy the Fitz and Simmons references were a hit. Also the story, but maybe not quite as much.
I knew I’d like this story when it mentioned the kingdom’s accounting department and then when I was able to give the king that great nickname. I enjoy deconstructions of fairy tales like this, so the palace intrigue and possibility of bringing the monarchy down sound great – although I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the accountants who bring Cinderella down first.
“I agree. Which is why we need to do something about that twelve-piece orchestra in your nose.”
This option doesn’t make as much sense if you don’t choose to pinch the prince’s nose, as then the dawn is the cause of both of them waking up, not the snoring.
“I can’t say as I was thrilled to spend so little time with Edward, but I understand the privileges of rank come with their burdens as well.”
Remove the “as” after “say”.
You shrug. “It had to be said.”
Perhaps this should change to “It had to be asked.” if the "“Was there truly that much of a call…” option was chosen.
One of the lesser-known advantages to being the king is that you always get to have the last word, so you are ushered out of the hall before you can respond in kind. Edward gives you a nervous smile. “So, uh, that went well.”
I’d make this its own paragraph.
Looking forward to the first day in the palace!
Oh yay another game by you!
Off to play the demoooo
Oh! Interesting concept! Shall be interesting to play this, has my very intrigued. Can we keep this marriage Happy? Manage kingly affairs? Who knows!
Demo hasn’t even been out 48 hours and I’m already stressing myself out over making sure this marriage works.
Everything I do makes us fluctuate between “truly we are in love” to “truly we might go the distance” and at one point it was “it seems we might go the distance.” WHAT DOES IT MEAN MY PRINCE??? TELL ME YOUR FEELINGS OUR MARRIAGE MUST BE BUILT ON COMMUNICATION
Good catch! And I had not thought about nicknames, since it is a more formal setting. But as you mention it, I think allowing you to have a pet name you use just for you and your prince or princess would be good. Heighten the connection, plus super handy for sticking the guilt knife in later if you stray or they do. And expect more subtle references to various princess lore. My daughters are 7 and 4, so this is what I know now. At this point I probably know more about princess canon than Star Wars or Marvel.
Fun fact: the actual ending to the first Cinderella was retconned out of existence. The third one apparently makes the bold, if slightly inexplicable, choice to not only get involved in alternate timelines a la Biffco in BttF 2, but avoid setting things completely back to normal at the end and have everyone just keep on in their new reality. Weird stuff.
On a side note, a big welcome back to all my Parenting Simulator readers and beta testers. The feedback, support and bugbusting y’all provided was a huge part of that game’s eventual success.
All typo and error fixes should now be live, although no new content has yet been added.
checks something out
hmm, no easter eggs for choosing these names anyways?
I’m looking forward to more of this
can we… hm, be gay? I really liked the premise (I’m a sucker for these kind of stories) but I’d like to know if my cinderella can find her happy ending in this story.
This game looks like a ton of fun.
It’s plausible that one or the other could be gay (and jumped into a marriage to the Prince/Cinderella because it got her away from the abusive stepfamily/got his father to stop pressuring him to marry) and they are in a marriage of convenience, and a whole new dimension to the story could be added in.
@hustlertwo, what do you think?
I think that’d be an interesting story, but it’s not really the one I’m writing here. I don’t necessarily know all the love interests I’m including yet (always been more a pantser than a planner), but I have no plans for any non-heterosexual ones.
Would you guys prefer to see every word of the big first speech you make, or just get descriptions of its impact?
I like to live in a fantasy world for two seconds where I’m capable of making dazzling speeches instead of ceasing lung function and passing out so fully worded please is my vote.
Aww Devils, there’s no save option
There will be. I had not implemented it initially because it was so short, but I used them on my first two stories before publishing and would definitely do so again. If folks are going to give you their time to play your story and give feedback, least you can do is respect them enough to limit the amount of repetitive tapping they have to do.
Personally I would just like to see the impact of the speech
Clearly this calls for a poll! Hurray!
- I want the full monty! I even want all the words in the choice body!
- I want to see all the words in the text, but the choices can just be an indicator of the tone/content I want to say
- Let’s just hit the highlights. No actual verbatim text required.