The Day After Ever After: A Cinderella Story (First draft entirely complete as of 7/10/22, latest update 7/31/22 with all 50 achievements! Word count is 202,220 including commands. Final feedback and suggestions urgently requested before submission!)

This was a fun chapter. I really enjoyed all the threads of previous choices coming together – through schmoozing with the army, gaining the support of Yu Tao, and taking funds from the kingdom and the accountants, Cinderella was successfully able to claim the throne as planned. I haven’t tried it out yet, but I also liked that there’s the option to spare Aloycius as well, as it seems both he and Cinderella have a similar mindset. I loved both A Dark New Day endings – whether it was being betrayed by Mortimer (again) after having staged a coup ourselves or living unnaturally long even as the deal destroyed Cinderella’s body, it looks like Don Cinderella has become a sith lord and turned into Darth Cinderella.

During the fight against Aloycius, there was no mention of Pat (perhaps because Cinderella took direct control of the army and personally went after the usurper), which seemed strange considering how much attention had been paid to his loyalty. I was also a little disappointed in the failed SCARE ending, since I had convinced Roderick to stay as a farmer. I figured that he would have reacted as he did in the route against Aloycius and abdicated the throne, but it appears in this ending that’s ignored.

Summary

"I helped fund and form a military unit recently. It would be easy to have them moved under my direct command.
Add a quotation mark at the end.

With protection froom the grosses abuses of their overlords and a path forward to make better lives for their children, many would-be rebels end up settling back into their normal routine.
“froom” should be “from”.

At this point, our plan to take over is coming together nicely.
“our” should be “your”.

As for those who were already with you,
I had Duke Smythe and the prince as allies, but the sentence ended here. It seems as those “loveint” is never set to 1, and “allbymy” is only set to greater than 0 when choosing certain options.

Quite some time ago, during an early stint as an interim ruler for Roderick, you had a chance to siphon some funds from a maintenance account designated for repairing the rather dilapidated western wall of the castle.
If you choose the honest option there’s no siphoned funds and K-Rod knows to repair the wall, but this line still occurs.

It’s fine if Edward takes the throne instead of me. We’re married and in love, so what’s his is mine. That includes power over this kingdom.
This option was grayed out despite Cinderella and the prince having a good relationship – the problem here is the loveint variable again.

I’ll live out my proper time and when it’s over, that will be that.
Add a quotation mark at the end.

Looking forward to the epilogues! :relaxed:

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The save functions seem to be broken

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I haven’t read this story in a bit and haven’t read the latest update yet

Can The Prince and Cinderella be happy together? I like their relationship :sob:

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I laughed myself silly several times reading this. The part with Lyrissa had me on the floor! :rofl::sob:

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I did everything I could to support Ingmar and the SCARE revolutionaries and promised them to use the retinue of arkebusemen (that I directly supervise), to strike the King’s Army from behind.
Why can I not chose the 4th choice?


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Why the saves not working?

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Because the save code has to be deactivated to run Quicktest, it often ends up being inactive when an update first goes up, since the author forgets to activate it again upon uploading the new content. Or at least it happens to me over half the time, I guess I cannot speak for others.

@Damar_Glover Saves are fixed now.

@Mithrandir Thanks for letting me know. There is a hidden yourev stat that determines if you are leading a legit revolution or are on the seizing power track and using SCARE for your own ends. I use that as a determiner for some choices, but may have missed a few spots where it needed to be defined. Hopefully that is fixed now.

@gtd33 Glad you enjoyed it! Larissa was the very last content written, as I was tying up all the loose ends for the update and realized I needed something to explain how Cindy got the throne if Roderick stepped down or croaked. It got away from me lengthwise but that’s because I was having such a good time writing about our tragic stalker friend.

@expectedoperator Excellent feedback as always. I’ll have to take a bit to get back to you on all this. Heading to Stone Mountain today so might be a bit.

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Yes I need that explanation, i crushed the rebellion personally and kill the king, i supposed that the soldiers with the guns who where loyal to me will help me to take the castle and stablish order, (but they didn’t appear)and the nobles wouldn’t complain that much since I’m better than Roderick, handle the Kingdom problems, and still I’m the rightful heir. But instead Cinderella take the throne? How? She’s a commoner, even with the title of queen she don’t have the back to get the throne, her origin is not noble, and she have a very pro commoner politic, why nobility would support her claim? And if not nobility, who? The rebellion is dead after all.

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In the epilogue, I plan to have the actual coronation for those who took power in a non-Dark New Day path, and will put in there how they fell in line because (if you used the Revolution to your own ends) you kept the rebel factions placated without actually intending to more than pay lip service to their desires, or (if you just got there by getting Roddy and Prince out) because the only other relative in line for the throne has lived in a different land his whole life, and you are able to play their xenophobia against them and convince a majority that this would make the country vulnerable to foreign influence.

Hustler that like is so very cryptic

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I suppose i need to wait more then, because my path is dark. I left Cinderella for my lover, stoped the thief, crushed the rebellion without mercy leading the army personally, trained soldiers to be only loyal to me, and kill the king to take the throne for myself. For some reason i ended up in jail instead of being a king, my loyal soldiers and the nobles who supports the crown and noble blood with their armies where delated magically and Cinderella take the throne for a reason. For now to me looks like i destroyed my enemies, proved my wits and strength to my subjects, and when i had everything on my favor, at the last moment i was betrayed, someone put a sword on my neck and said that i need to follow him to the dungeon because soldier number 25 is in charge now, who is soldier number 25? i don’t know, but apparently it was a very cunning person all the time. Soo… Yeah I’m gonna return here in some months for an update to see how I ended up there, good game, very enjoyable.

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The demo so far is up to the chapter 10, right?

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This story warmed the cockles of my cold heart :heart_eyes:

Typo: there should be speech marks around In short, I admit I was a bit embarrassed about having Pat fastening my clothes in front of you,

Edit: The Prince, you guys, I am in love!!

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It is. And that is the last of the numbered chapters. The epilogue is called just that.

@Zanite Glad you are liking it!

@DiamondVirus How is it cryptic, exactly?

@gindondake I have to be honest, I only followed about half of that. I’m not even sure what path you are referencing.

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Should Fiji introduce the epilogues?
  • Yes, let the fae have its say!
  • No, to the fae I must say nay!
  • Pie!

0 voters

Just wanted to see what you guys thought about the idea of having Fiji tell you (the reader, not your character) about what is happening in the epilogues, or if it should just be normal text like it is in my other stories.

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Maybe both? One, Fiji’s POV, the other, a slightly more objective narrator voice.

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Interesting idea. Can you explain how you see that going?

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Fiji narrates the epilogue based on how they feel about a specific outcome (and they probably like some outcomes more than others). It’s followed up by narration similar to the end of TPS, where an ending has both good and bad points.

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Oooh kinda sad. I loved it and was hopping for more…

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I appreciate that. But it’s time. This story was great for getting me back on the horse after 2020 and Covid kicked my Hutt. Which was an autocorrect fail but I like it so it stays in. But I am ready now to do Grandparenting. Been ready for a while, in fact. Plus, I still have a good chance to have this release in 2022 if I move expeditiously.

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