The City of Dreadful Night (WIP) (Updated 6-28-2019)

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A few weeks ago, I posted a poll in the interest check thread with about 20 of my different story ideas to see what people favored as a choicescript game. After judiciously studying the results as well as weighing my every option, I… ended up starting on a completely different idea ;p

Anyway.

The City of Dreadful Night (working title)

It’s Victorian-era London, and you belong to a secretive witch-hunting order with roots spanning centuries. When a killer starts stalking the streets of Whitechapel, you realize their crimes are connected to a black magic ritual devised to herald the reappearance of an ancient evil. Can you find out the identity of Jack the Ripper and prevent further slaughter by using your own brand of magic? Or will you succumb to the dark ways behind the ritual in order to satisfy your own deepest desires?

This Demo - the prologue; will eventually lead into your first mission in the game, which will not be Ripper-centric until the second part. I’d like to see what people think of the four possible origins as well as your potential stats and chosen skills. Currently 8,886* words and I hope to update every week (but no promises.)

The Genre - Gaslamp Fantasy/Horror, although I’ve done a lot of research into this time period, location, and case, so it has strong elements of historical fiction.

General Concept - A new kind of detective story, where the choices you make will determine the true identity of Jack the Ripper (there are plans for six different Rippers.)

The Player Character - Play as asexual (including romantic ace options,) aromantic, gay, straight, or pan. The player can be gender-fluid, nonbinary, trans, male, or female.

Things to Come - I’ve mapped out the entire story, and I know each ending. However, I’m still creating subplots and romantic options, and I’d love to read your thoughts on this idea and what else you’d like to see.

My Coding Skill -I’m very, very new and learning as I go. CSIDE has been invaluable.

Changes
6-28-19: Added a small scene at the end. Added a few lore pages in the stats. Took suggestions for changing the wording around NB characters. Took out all paragraphs about the difficulties NBs might have in Victorian period.

To play the demo, go here - The City of Dreadful Night

Do a play-through and tell me what you think below, or pm me. I await on tenterhooks!

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Ohh yesyesyes, the detective game! And The Ripper? Woah, it’ll be spicy journey indeed. Can you tell a bit more about “six rippers” part, I’m a little confused? Does it mean that there will be six potential suspects whos shells we need to break? (or maybe their skulls…)
Or is it like with every route the murderer will be different based on our choices? (as said in the description)

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Absolutely! :smiley: Yes, the Ripper can actually change from playthrough-to-playthrough. It will be different based on the player character’s hunches and feelings about the killer, as their (regained) magical ability has to do with intuition.

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This is awesome! Very unique idea and a lot, LOT of work and coding… Wish the best of luck, looking forward to news and updates! :smiley_cat:
(I’ll stop rumbling now and go to play the demo, haha!)

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A typo I noticed (the “W” should be lower case):

Now, What these ‘forces of evil’ actually

They seem like a good start to me, though it is difficult to judge based on the paragraph-or-so background we are given in the current demo.

I very much like the idea of origin-specific abilities! You might also want to add some sort of feature that keeps track of the information supplied by the narrative, just in case players want to review your world-building without restarting the game. (;

I think you have a very good foundation, here! Things seem structured well enough to give you plenty of room to branch-out, which is always something that helps when writing an interactive fiction story. Good work and keep at it! (:

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:b:lease author, cetero option… I am butte a poor starving shipwreckt knave…

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Hey, thank you! I was considering whether or not I should add a lore/personal history section to the stats screen; you’ve helped me answer that. ^^

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I had to look up what that meant, but actually… I already got you, fam :slight_smile: Go ahead and take a look!

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Haha, anytime!

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Gayer… Transer… Bloodborne… I’d like to thank not only you but God… also our forefathers at Fallen London, they worked so that I could play a NB squid

One issue, uhhhhh like. Non-binary people aren’t all “third genders” as you probably know and I know it’d be hard to shimmy around the Victorianesque language of the times but can the wording be changed to something a bit more… all-encompassing or vague like “people of a different persuasion than male or female” or something?

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Sure thing! I’m really glad you let me know; I wanna do my best to make it right.

I’m a Fallen London fan, too! :smiley:

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Ohhh man. Did you play Bloodborne? Please say yes. Everything can be improved with more Hell

Found something else: “he is my fiancée” and “they are my fiancée”. Fiancée (double e) is the female form of the French word. Fiancé is the male form, and unless you want to use a neo-ending like fiancet or something, nb option might be something like “betrothed”?

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I haven’t played Bloodborne, but now I’m interested :smiley: Also, I had no idea about the fiancee thing. Great catch!

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I have a feeling you’d be interested. This a gives me a very Bloodborne-esque vibe, though perhaps a bit more organised - Bloodborne is a bit more eldritch cosmic horror and lonely in comparison: very little dialogue. Even if you can’t play or don’t have a PS4, the concept art is a thing of wonder, and I think it may be of some use to you!

I’ll be keeping an eye on this! I love your writing. I love this world. I love… being cetero…

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Yesssssss checking out the concept art right now! Gorgeous! And thank you. I really appreciate it. <3

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This is really fantastic! Getting some vague Bookburners vibes, but Victorian-flavored (which is a very good thing).

Definitely one of my favorite WIPs already!

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Hey, thank you! I just looked up Bookburners; it looks cool! :smiley: I appreciate the support, and the rec! :slight_smile: So glad you like it so far.

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hoo boy… may i offer a passing YOINKS because i love this so much? god, this is soooo fun! i am going to articulate my love for this horribly, and i will overuse the word “love.” please bear with me. i have many feelings

okay, first, the historical setting is incredibly fun and has so many opportunities to interweave the political and cultural climate–i am especially interested to see if the frigid social environment plays into anything here. i know this has a large fantasy element, but will the stifling society be an outside factor? for instance, if you are playing a female MC, is there any struggle to overcome the “limitations” of your gender? or, will gay/nonbinary MCs witness any whiplash?

besides that, ooooo, brother. the secretive nature of this Order! the concept of them looking out for special abilities! the lack of autonomy! wowee!

also, the way you write the horror is so well-done. the built tension is good; the way Rebecca’s fate is revealed is so fun. and the imagery!!! the imagery is great!!! you have such a way with words–the phrasing, the use of structure to create a sense of trepidation or wonder, the description of these creatures. ughhhhh!!! its so good!

also x2, the characters… i’m excited to see you do with Finley and Niime. when i read Niime’s charatcerization, i genuinely lit up because how freaking fun he is!!! im really, really invested in these two already, and that was done within sentences.

okay, rambling should end now. i am just so into your ideas and i can’t wait to see more. please excuse the overuse of exclamation points

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Quick question: will one or two the ROs be Jack the Ripper?:smiling_imp:

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Interesting. Will there be romance options? Are they… the rippers or our companions? :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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