The Caged Songbird

Hosted Games Works In Progress
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@Fay
OMG I love snakes! This just gave me an idea for a scene😂

@Langre
Hahaha no the only real resemblance to Poison Ivy is the toxic touch😂 It would be pretty interesting to see the MC trying to kiss their way out of the prison though.

@Hearts
LOL I actually hadn’t thought about that🤔
That would be hilarious though.

MC: nose scrunches up

N: “Oh no, it’s happening again.”

A: “Don’t you dare! Hold that thing in!!”

MC opening their mouth up to sneeze.

T: “It’s too late! Everyone run!!”

Everyone in the cafeteria runs out just in case a single drop of saliva lands on them…except for E who was too engrossed in staring at their phone screen.

Oh I didn’t know it was an anime! I’ll check it out!

@Conor_Mccann
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it!

@Hamps
Ohhh!!! I didn’t know that! I looked it up and it looks interesting! Thanks for mentioning it.:grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

@Aleksa100
Lmao I’m sure that would make for an interesting party. :laughing:

@Jak
Ah yes!! I’m so glad you brought her up! Rogue is actually the character that inspired this story the most. I grew up being a huge fan of X-Men and I always thought she was cool. So you’re not wrong!
Yay! I’m glad you liked it!

@Holtzmann
lol don’t worry their will be plenty of drama in the future😂 I think it would be interesting to see how a romance between Westley and the MC would turn out but for now there’s no plan to have him as an RO.
I’m actually really happy people like the side characters and even want to romance them.

@MadMinnie
Thank you for those encouraging words. I just kind of grew up afraid of sharing my thoughts with others. I thought online would be easier since I don’t have to see people eye to eye but it’s just as difficult. I’m glad I built up the courage to do it tho. Everyone has been very kind. I’m glad you like Jace, he’s a rough guy but not entirely bad.

Hahaha to be honest that’s probably my favorite scene😂

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Very nice, I hope you continue with this. Also my congrats on building up the courage to post, I know it can be nerve wracking. :slight_smile:

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Thought so. I was much the same when I was younger. Hopefully the positive responses you got here will help you to slowly overcome your fears in other situations too. It’s great that you worked up the courage to post this. I know it’s no small feat! :slight_smile:

Also, to post something on topic: I agree with all the Westley love. He’s like a Cute Puppy Dog and even if we can’t romance him, I hope we get to be his best friend. Please tell me we can be super close friends with him? :smile:

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hi!, I loved the story, its very interesting :grin:

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@spytim
Thank you! I’ll do my best :smiley:

@MadMinnie
Yeah, it’s hard. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still a little nervous but overall I’m really happy I did it. Honestly one of my biggest accomplishments this year. :laughing:

Westley is a good kid, a little naive but good. He’s probably the most pure and honest character in the story. Yes! You’ll be able to become super close friends with him.

@line27y
I’m glad you liked it! Thank you so much for reading! :blush:

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It’s pure hell when MC has the flu.

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My mommy issues shivered at Dr. Hemlock, loved it

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So … a crime?

I mean, murder you didn’t mean to commit is called manslaughter. Committing a crime by accident doesn’t make you innocent!

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this is true feeling of Captain Moore I what to break his leg off and kick him into the moon

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I’m liking the demo so far! I get the feeling that N is a bit of a player, but my MC’s got a blank space for them :wink:

Some feedback:
I noticed that there are a few ‘they’ and ‘their’ when describing males/females, although I don’t know if it’s intended or not.

I think the murder in the prologue is a little awkward. The way the MC kills that guy seems like it was intentional in the heat of the moment, which doesn’t exactly fit with the innocent-ness the MC is supposed to have. Maybe instead of the MC reaching out the guy grabs the MC, and then dies?

Also, when Westly brings the MC to the second meeting with Hemlock, he says that they’re there for their own safety, but on the walk back he says he’s not sure about that anymore. I thought that was a bit abrupt for him to suddenly change his tune like that.

I’m looking forward to finding out how the MC can touch the ROs without killing them heh heh :sweat_smile:

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@Fay
Lmao!:joy::joy::joy:

@r_isexhausted
lol Dr. Hemlock would definitely be a horrible mother to have.

@will
lol this is very true. Thanks for letting me know. I admit my story description skills are not the best. I’ll be sure to change it as soon as I can.
And yes the MC is in no way shape way or form innocent.

@Takashi_Shin
Oh yeah, Captain Moore is a horrible person.

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N is a BIG player but they’re not a bad person, they have a reason for being the way they are. Whether it’s a good reason depends on the MC and how they feel.

Oh thanks for letting me know! I’ll go back and see if I can find them.

Hmm that’s a very good suggestion! There’s actually a reason why it may seem that way but I don’t want to say since it would involve spoiling something big. I’ll take a look again at the scene though!

lol that’s actually one of the scenes I kind of just rushed through. My brain just kind of died at that point :laughing: Don’t worry though I’ll be sure to go back and make some changes! Thanks for the feedback :smiley:

Thank you so much for reading!

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Well, this sounds promising.

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how is first person put the this prison

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Ohh exciting!

Quick question, if this ends up being a series of books, will they all take place in the prison and the escape plan or is that the focus of book one? Hopefully not too spoilery to answer.

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to me ok with what mint planing to me righter is in right how end of story

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When I read the summary I immediately thought, “Oh great, I get to play Cardia again!” Since I always play as female when I can. I was afraid of asking because I might offend @Mint.

I do like the game so far but I’m curious about what everyone powers are but I’ll be patient and wait for them to be revealed in the story.

I can’t help but think that T’s power is like Medusa, turning people to stone bc of the mask.
I also wanna think that E’s powers are psychokinesis or some type of kinesis due to emotions.

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It would be cool if Jace was a RO

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Jace is an absolute asshole and cocky but I love him so much.

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You shouldn’t have been nervous about posting! I enjoyed reading your story thoroughly. It was descriptive without being boring and the characters are all unique with their own distinctive voice. Good job, I can’t wait to read more!:hugs:

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