Here are the verbatim notes I took while replaying. But the tl;dr is still that I LOVE it.
EDIT: Missed some notes. I am super in love with being able to actually be shy and nice, but not being forced into it! I like playing nice characters, but I know a lot of people feel like they are boring. I really feel like you’ve given us a lot of latitude to really define our MC.
I love Chris and Oliver A Lot and for different reasons.
Really Aila? Did you have to hit me to knock me out? 
She says in our conversation after waking up that a rock hit us but also that she had to knock us out. Does that mean she did use some kind of power, but a rock hit us first?
(Rocks are fickle, even when you show them proper love and care.)
I’m curious to meet Ekon again. Based on the context, I’m guessing that he is the shape shifter and Aila is the vampire. I could see Chris being the vampire, but his attitude towards Oliver (our angel) makes me think he’s the demon. Unless Aila and Ekon aren’t Brandings at all and just rebellion folk.
Is there a reason I’m only excited to be a vampire when Aila first brings up Brandings? I’ve been playing the same MC so far, so I don’t know if that’s static or based on choices I’ve made.
Have you described heights in text? I don’t think I’ve noticed. I’m curious.
The clothing options are really modern, which is kind of a gear shift for me. I’m not against it at all, but I just assumed a quasi-medieval time because of the magic. I like magic in more contemporary settings though!
Any reason my sneakers aren’t comfy? It’s not important, just curious. Because they’re hand me downs?
I think it would be nice if I had a nicer way to tell Oliver that I wasn’t okay when we first go out in the hallway? I feel like I either have to lie, be weirdly optimistic (for my MC, not objectively weird), or mean. Maybe a nonverbal headshake?
Chris seems like the type to flirt with everyone, but it hints at the possibility of a poly? Certainly don’t feel obligated, but that would be brilliant. I will romance both him and Oliver even if it requires multiple playthroughs.
I also made note of some minor typos. Please ignore any that you don’t agree with! I tried not to duplicate already reported things.
Minor grammar suggestions
“Instead, you press your forehead into his back, a unique sign you two have grown close to when one needed unspoken comfort.”
Grown close to? I’m not entirely sure what you’re getting at here. Maybe grown used to?
“Then, with inhumanly speed…”
Should be inhuman here.
“…the blue hue seemly intensifying at His outburst. Unfortunately, even with the brief intensity, the color soon fades and the walls falls along with it.”
Seemingly? His doesn’t need to be capitalized. Not sure if the second line should be wall falls or walls fall. Is it referencing the arcane wall or the literal walls of the cell?
“Just thinking about Oliver seeing you change causes something deep in you to stir crazy. You gulp, hearing the door close behind then.”
Crazily. And either them or him/her at the end there.
“After all, maybe you could see if there was much truth Aila to what Aila has been telling you.”
Just one Aila.
“…what if the clothes weighed and trapped you down…”
This is understandable, but a little oddly phrased. I think “weighed down and trapped” would be clearer?
“Oliver’s eye crinkle as his smile somehow brightens.”
Eyes, unless we can only see one for some reason (angle, hair, etc) and I just missed that.
“Doors like the one Oliver is currently closings…One which, smelled like cleaning products, something that you were used to.”
Closing. There’s an extra comma after which. I’m curious about the antiseptic smell; is that familiar from the lab? Because their cell sounded dirty…?
“Wait, lovey,” he command, stepping in front of you. You glance at him with an eyebrow raised when he begin to walk towards the door."
Commands, begins. (Also, I really, really like him calling me lovey. It’s so sweet!)
“You watch Oliver turns his to the environment, enraptured at before but this time, keeping his adoration to himself.”
You can either watch Oliver turn or watch as Oliver turns his…eyes, maybe? to the environment, enraptured as before.
“Instinctively you reach for his hand to comfort him.”
I took his hand before this, so am I taking his free hand and now holding both? (MY HEART)
“There is just too many emotions-”
It’s more proper to say there are too many emotions, but this could be intentional. (Also, SAME!)
“Oh, you are just too precious,” he comments, his eyes glistening."
Glistening has the connotation of crying to me. I think glinting or glittering might work better? That’s totally your call. Just a thought.
“You sure it’s because you need some time alone after watching me get all hot and sweaty?”
Shouldn’t this be ‘not because’?
“The tongue that was drawing your attention before was sticking out between chris lips, pointedly sticking out in focus. A puffed up smiles beamed on his face…”
A) ADORABLE
B) Chris’s or Chris’. I like the double s, but either is okay. You could also say his. Smile should be singular.
“Unexpectedly, He gently grab your hand, pushing the flower bracelet up to your wrist.”
He doesn’t need to be capitalized. Grabs.
“You look at him as he lazily stroll next to you.”
Strolls.
