Right now, I don’t really want to make any money off of it. But at this point I haven’t done much work on it yet, either, so I may very well feel different later on.
Once I’ve put more work into this, and decide how I really feel about attempting to sell it or otherwise, I’ll be sure to get into contact. Though I admit that sounds horrifying. I imagine something like a bunch of people in suits looming over me while shoving contracts in my face and asking me to sell them my soul.
Thank you, I appreciate the support! Snarky personalities are my favorite to write.
Harper is definitely the most protective of the three LI’s I have in mind right now, but I hope that you’ll like the other two just as much as you like Harper.
Do you think I did an alright job picking gender neutral names?
I think Harper and Rowan are gender neutral names but Sloane seems very masculine.
Could you tell us what the other RO’s are like, personality-wise?
Hm. Alright, thank you! As for the other LI’s, I can give a little information.
Rowan is another royal like you. And they definitely act like it. They can be a little stuck up at times, but of the three they’re probably the most intellectual. They know how to use majic, and may engage in some… unsavory magic, on the side. They aren’t exactly skilled when it comes to talking though, and as such conversations with them can become… awkward. As it starts out, they’re not particularly fond of the MC. You two are sort of competing for a bride/groom so it’s to be expected. Prince not-so-charming.
Sloane is a pirate turned sellsword. This change is very recent. Very. They embody a bunch of viking stereotypes, including but not limited to, drinking a bunch, enjoying busting heads, and skill with a ship as well as a sword. They’re the most laid back of the group. I admit that there are probably going to be some references to Alestorm music with this one, so bare with me. That being said, they’re kind of noble in the way that they’ll happily beat the crap out of someone with what they consider “too much” money. But they’ll end up giving most of the money to someone else, usually someone poor. That’s what they did during their pirating days. Robin hood in furs.
Harper is the oldest of the bunch. They were hired as your body guard on the cusp of their adulthood, and they’ve been there protecting you ever since. As the MC states, you don’t really need protecting all the time. But having Harper around is certainly helpful. They don’t like any kind of unlawful activity, but obviously they’re not going to tell you to stop if you decide to go around stealing everything from everyone. If you’re in a sticky situation you can bet that Harper will find a way to get you out of it. Usually without any regard to their own safety. And anything regarding romance will immediately send them into a fit of stuttering and blushing. The Knight in extremely dull armor.
So that’s the basics for the three of them. I can see how the name Sloane might be considered a little masculine, but the character is pretty “masculine” anyways, regardless of their gender. I suppose that if enough people decide they don’t like it, I can replace it with something else.
Well, that was definetly more hostile than I wanted It to be. The voice falters, and I assume it’s probably because they’re afraid of my combat prowess. It’s possible that they might be afraid of my dad, and not me. But come on. I can be scary, too. On the bright side, my little lion’s roar might have earned me some more nap time. “Your majesty. Your father requests your presence.” No such luck.
I lazily pull down the silk covers from my face and finally attempt to look upon the one who so rudely awoke me. The sun, however, seems to have different ideas. I immediately squint and find myself faced with only a blurry black apparition. Not exactly the best way to go around identifying people, but when I hear the voice again, I realize that I don’t need to see anyways. “My apologies for waking you, Your Majesty. Your father said It was Important.”
Definitely instead of definetly, and you capitalized it (twice) and important. Also, the your majesty in the last sentence on the first paragraph is not capitalized when every other is.
But you’ll get a lot of money! And probably a mansion somewhere! Actually, that depends. How much is your soul worth? I can tell you a way to get all of these things easily, but first…you have to sign a contract. Mwa ha ha ha Mwa h-voice cracks
My faithful bodyguard, at my side ever since… Well, I can’t really remember a time when Harper hasn’t been there. And I mean that literally. Harper takes this job very seriously, and over the years I’ve had to become almost pathetically coniving just so I can get enough alone time too… well… you know. It’s not as If I need a bodyguard anyways, but being the child of the King has it’s drawbacks.
Missing the third period in the ellipse and the w should not be capitalized. Also, the I in if should not be capitalized.
Thank you for so diligently reporting my numerous errors. xD
I wrote most of this after midnight, so please pardon them. I’ll go back through and fix everything you pointed out as soon as possible.
You’re pointing out my errors, but you haven’t said anything about it otherwise. It’s not much, but do you at least enjoy what little there is? xD
Sorry 'bout that, pardner. As it is, I’ve played tell the part when you meet Harper, so there’s not much to comment on, but I usually don’t really comment on the story itself because I only point out errors for stories I like, because of all my homework.
Incident #01
Name: Chief Detective What? You actually expected something here?
Situation report: At 7:07 our unit responded to a call from a Mr. Claymore Leons for typos. We found this: I suppose It was about time to get up anyways.
The I in it was capitalized. No doubt a calling card left by the killer. We will continue to investigate.
Wow, you sure know how to report typos, huh?
Incident #02
Name: Chief Detective What? You actually expected something here?
Situation report: At 7:16 our unit responded to a call from a Mr. Claymore Leons for typos. We found this: Displeased Is an understatement. He’d probably have the both of us drawn and quartered. Then place our heads on spikes outside of the castle, to be an example for all who decide they want to sleep in. He doesn’t tolerate being disobeyed. “This Is as much for me as It is for you, trust me.” I remark upon seeing Harper’s questioning gaze.
I reluctantly begin to claw my way out of the blanket cocoon I had made for myself over the night, only to be faced with an even larger mountain of cloth upon exiting. I sigh. Perhaps I should speak to someone about getting these taken out of here, they’re a little bit inconvienent for me when I’m in a hurry. Which Is probably more often than I care to admit. I’m making a very undignified attempt at crawling over the mountain of blankets and pillows, (To Harper’s credit, I don’t hear any laughter) when I realize that I no longer feel anything solid beneath my hands anymore. And then I’m falling. And then I’m smacking my face on the floor. In the way of injuring oneself I’m sure I did It very gracefully.
Multiple capitalizations of I. We are hot on the case.
Finding creative (and funny, if I do say so myself) ways to report typos keeps me sane as I copy-paste words on a screen when I should be studying for my exams.
I’m all for a lil same-sex relations, its very admirable of you to take that on be it +18 plus or not. I suggest you leave a lil wiggle room like create a little branch that tones down the naughtyness just in case you feel the urge to have the site host it so you don’t have to rework everything later.
If the writing is good I imagine you’ll have more than enough support from alternate lifestyle community and fans to boot. You have a few rooting for you as it stands from the look count me among them wink.
As a mature fiction writer myself I can understand the urge to go all out!
Just keep your options open is what I’m saying and you never know what a successful story might open up later.
PS:I can relate to gender issues, the coding can be irritating but once you crack it its a piece of cake.
I was considering doing that. To be honest I just love writing mature content, so it might be for more selfish reasons than admirable ones that I decided I wanted to include sexual content. It’s possible I might drop them in the future, but for now I doubt I will.
If I do tone it down, it’ll probably be to the same level as Guenevere. I really love that game, for whatever reason. xD
Right now I’m just waiting for a chance to get on the computer, so I can correct all my stupid grammar issues and then tackle the gender issue again. I’m sure that once that’s out of the way, I’ll progress faster than I have been. Hopefully.
Well its a pretty easy trick to ‘hide’ the naughtyness, a simple true false statement
have a choice mark one Mature and set it true which would reveal the *if statement containing the more ‘intimate’ moments. I know because I’ve done the same thing. 
and to hide it in the finished product all you have to do really is to remove the Mature choice and the *if statement holding it never reveals itself accept to those that have access to the code Muahahahahahaaa
Let me know what gender issues you’re having in particular I’m more than happy to lend some experience toward the issue.
Incident #03
Name: Chief Detective What? You actually expected something here?
Situation report: At 9:34 our unit responded to a call from a Mr. Claymore Leons for typos. We found this:
There’s only one way to handle situations like these. With sarcasm.
Harper worries about me too much, maybe It’s time I make up for that.
I don’t have time for this.
Yet another capitalized I in it. I suspect we found the Illuminati’s parent organization: The Ittunati.
Thanks! I think im gonna be torn between Sloane and Harper.
Btw, thanks for not making this gender-locked!
Oooo random idea.
Doppleganger or body double? some royalty had them and you’d have to be close with someone pretending to be you wouldn’t ya, but you wouldn’t have to like them maybe an antagonist?
Fun random idea. Though a little creepy from the wrong angle.
Do you think you could maybe elaborate on that? I’m not sure I’m fully understanding what your idea is.