The Bar on the Abyss - WIP [198k words] [Updated June 30] Your new afterlife awaits!

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Hi everyone! The writing process for the update is finally progressing smoothly. In the meantime, I have updated the main artwork for the game.

See you soon in the Abyss :wink:

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I love the way this story is unfolding! Such a unique setting and premise. I went in fully expecting to romance either Death or Lilith, but Peisinoe’s characterization really drew me in. Can’t wait to see what’s next! :slight_smile:

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Thank you! It’s so fun writing Peisi, they have such a strong main character energy lol. Can’t wait to see the rest story unfold before all of you, honestly. :slight_smile:

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:sparkles: Stage Presence :sparkles:

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Proficiency in Performance & Persuasion and a +6 to all Charisma rolls

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Patrons of TBOTA, the update is OUT NOW!

READ HERE

  • Journey to the realm of Hell, the eternal damnation!
  • Choose how Hell manifests before you: Neon-drenched metropolis, Victorian industrial, the classic brimstone and fire, or even the suburbs.
  • Learn more about Yaga—her regrets and her rage.
  • Do some shopping in the Bazaar of Dis—buy a Roomba for He Without Name or an upgrade for the bar!
  • Go to dinner with Lilith\ Damian in their home. But be careful; the dessert might ruin the meal.

Please remember: Your feedback on the update will help me so much! So feel free to add your thoughts. Everything is valid, from your love to your critique. I can handle both! :slight_smile:

And with a personal final note: OMG, Chapter 4 is done. This was truly a hellish update to write, but I’m so happy with how it turned out in the end (it took only two rewrites!)

I hope you enjoy it, and I’ll keep you posted for the next update, which will be a BIG ONE.

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Looks out the window

“Yeah, sounds about right.” :melting_face:

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Lmao :sob: Visited NYC lately, guess it left a strong impression.

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First of all, I want to say again that I really appreciate what you’ve written, I think it’s a really interesting concept, which exploits its themes very well and I think I’ve read enough to get a general idea of what I feel about it, so here:


I think it won’t come as a surprise to you if I cite the characters as this story’s greatest strength. Especially Peisinoe, Hastur and Yaga, they’re the best characters of the story in my opinion.

You know how to get someone invested into your characters both emotionally and intellectually, they are very attaching and all in their own way they bring something important and interesting to the table.

If anything I think so far the only character I sometimes have problems with is the Raven, overall I find the raven endearing but the jokes don’t always land and it feels like sometimes he’s trying way too hard, but hey that feels like the vibe I’m supposed to get from the raven and it’s nothing bad enough to really take into account.


It’s obviously a very character-driven story, but at times I think that comes between the plot and you. The main character doesn’t have much agency over the course of events in most things that aren’t direct character interactions.

What I mean to say is that the plot often lives through the MC’s interactions with other characters which isn’t bad on its own, but the problem is that besides those interactions, the MC basically waits out the plot, they don’t have a lot of options to be a proactive main character.

Which is, in part, a direct consequence of being a bar owner that needs a bar to be relevant as a matter of course. And obviously is not necessarily well equipped to deal with the problems they are facing, not compared to a witch, a devil or Death itself. So little bartender MC obviously has to stay in their own damn lane lmao.

But I think it wouldn’t hurt to try to involve the main character more in making proactive decisions concerning the overarching plot of the story.


That’s all for now, I’ll come back to you if I think of more. Of course it’s still early to say anything definitive so this is still just me trying to make sense of what I felt your game did well and what it could do better. So don’t take me too seriously, lol.

I think you’ve done a great job so far and I want to see more of the story and characters, so I’m eagerly waiting for the next update.

Thanks for making this exist.

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Thank you for your incredibly detailed review! I think you are pretty spot on with the areas that need improvement in the story – specifically, making the main character more defined and active.

The next game update will focus on addressing these areas. I’m currently working on a new game mechanic that will allow the MC to have their own “personal quest”, separate from the main plot, to give players a more active role—it will be called the “stages of grief” paths and will basically give your character their “main struggle” in the new afterlife and will shape how they react to events.

So again, thank you so much for taking the time to leave your thoughts, it’s an absolute honour to read them! :heart:

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Hey there, patrons of TBOTA! :ghost:

I thought I’d share one of the things I’m overhauling for the next game update :smiley:

Introducing the new skill system:

  • Insight
  • Logic
  • Physique
  • Charm
  • Finesse
  • Creativity

These new skills will be MUCH more useful in the game and for your MC. More interactivity, basically.

I’m also revamping your MCs’ career choices in the prologue. Instead of the usual 5 options plus a “write your own” choice, there will now be a total of 31 career options that will open up unique choices throughout the story.

And because why not, here is the complete list:

Scientist, Astronaut, Lawyer, Surgeon, Architect, Psychologist, Professional Athlete, Firefighter, Outdoor Guide, Dancer, Detective, Stuntperson, Politician, Actor, Performer, Bartender, Salesperson, Repair Technician, Medic, Security Specialist, Chef, Martial Artist, Writer, Painter, Journalist, Wood Craftsman, Social Worker, Teacher, Advertiser, Nurse, Spirit Medium.

So, which will be your first choice?

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:man_scientist:

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JBento:
:man_scientist:

Lmao, love to see a person of science amidst total ethereal chaos. Will they enter crisis mode or start collecting samples from the Abyss? :japanese_ogre:

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Psychologist, the most powerful career!

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Hehe wait until Peisinoe learns about it!

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I love seeing how this game expands! So excited for this revamped prologue! I don’t know which one to pick…

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Lol, I might have overdone it with the choices :sob: But it will be attached to choosing the primary and secondary stats, so you won’t have to decide if you don’t want to!

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Why do I want to add an option to ask “Have you consider therapy?” For all interactions with the cast :sob:

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*choice
  #"Peisinoe, have you considered therapy?"
     *if (Physique > 90)
       *goto Objective:Survive
     *else
       *goto death
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Not the proper code for it, dying here, see you at the abyss.

Technically, everyone is already trumadumping on you, so you might as well ask for money. :eyes:

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