That’s on purpose, mimicking an accent
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Oh sorry I don’t know
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No worries 
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Aaah, such a delightful update!
I really love this game more and more! 
Thank you so much for adding these new choices to Lynwood’s segment, and the follow up with Charlie. It was such a treat to finally be able to play it in a truly organic way for my playstyle!
Also, I just love Charlie calling my MC a “bloody ol’ altruistic hen” 
Couple of errors I've noticed:
When ratting Seán out of worry for the people:
If ratting Seán out out of worry, and then telling Charlie the truth about being worried for them both and the town, the follow up is:
“No,” you say, shaking your head. “And I’m very worried, though. For you, me, and forthe people in town.”
Should be “for the people” - "for and “the” got stuck together
About "death":
In a couple of instances, I have noticed Charlie’s ability being described as “talking to the death”, but shouldn’t it be “to the dead”? I’m not a native English speaker, so maybe I’m missing a subtlety here, but I believe “death” means the natural phenomenon of death or can refer to an incarnation / manifestation of death itself, while “dead” is the status of being dead or “the dead people”. Following that, Charlie should be “talking to the dead” 
Unless I’m missing something, as stated above (and unless it’s a stylistic choice due to accents, but it didn’t feel so).
Anyway!
That aside, it was really nice to get to know Seán and Finn a bit better. They are really sweet, in two very different ways! My current theory is that Blayne is actually Finn’s dad, and doesn’t know how to deal with it and how/if he should tell him.
And I hope a MC who did rat Seán out because they actually believed Lynwood (or one who simply regrets ratting him out, no matter the reason) will get the opportunity to apologize at some point. It could be interesting!
Also… is it bad that I’m really excited about the cliff hanger at the end? I mean… for SOME reason I really like Lyn and I’m excited to see him again. Just… don’t ask me why
There is no rational reason for that since we don’t know much about him, but somehow I like him.
Now, with that being said, I’m also getting more and more excited for Tommy to appear. I hope I’ll like him as much as (or more than) I expect to! 
Oh, speaking of the ROs…
Now that MC’s age is officially a thing, did you plan how to deal with age gaps, if at all? I’m asking out of genuine curiosity - I like age gaps (though with the aforementionned RO I’m interested in, it won’t be a huge gap anyway, since my MC’s 25)! So I’d be interested in knowing if the age gap will be acknowledged when romancing a character that’s very far in age to the MC, either by being older or younger.
For example, I would easily imagine Charlie seeing my 25 years old MC more like a younger brother. It would be a hassle to make romances harder or easier depending on ages (and outright unfair to lock romances behind age ranges), but having the characters have a quick talk about it would sure feel nice.
Anyway, I’m getting too hyped now, especially considering this last topic wouldn’t even be relevant to me!
I guess it’s proof of how invested I am!
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Thanks for the reply.
Bit by bit:
I have no idea how the space is missing there O_o The multireplace I used is correctly spaced and all…
And yeah, english isn’t my first language so such hiccups sneak in all too easily. it should be ‘dead’.
I messed up the coding for the talk at the start of ch2, the mc should have the chance to apologise there already.
and yeah, the agegap will be acknowledged
stay tuned
edit: scratch the note about correct spacing, the repeated line is what you were referring to. thanks for the catch, that one was wonky <3
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Loved the new parts. I only noticed one mistake. When talking to miss meadows, while thinking she wants to hear your story and telling her she is not the first. Finleys name is missing. First O’brian, then and now you
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yeah, messed up the multireplace there. it’ll be fixed with the updated that brings the rest of the dream and adds apologizing to sean back in 
EDIT:
Alright
- apologizing to Seán now happens at the end of Ch1 (once updated)
- I’ll probably expand ch2 either post the cliffhanger or add in a bit to actually talk to blayne before you head to the station.
reason for the second:
While the chapter’s wordcount is 20k+ in total, a lot of it is from the dreamsequence, so the chapter itself is pretty short. (10k+) Not happy with that
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I am very happy for the ages of the ROs. I love these games, but it’s so rare to have the chance to meet ROs close to my age, and i can choose my MC age too, that was something i really liked, for once i can play as someone over 30s. Thank you for this great wip, i will watch it closely
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Almost done with the remaining dreamsequences, so, as a teaser, have the introductory text:
Saloon
You step towards the saloon, trying to make out the name painted on the building. You are certain those are letter, and you feel like you know what they say, yet it feels like they are dancing shapes, changing whenever you blink or so much as think about their existence.
The doors creak on their hinges as you push them open, only to swing silently behind you once you’ve set foot into the small gloomy taproom. There’s glasses and plates on the tables, bottles behind the bar, but not a single soul around. The odd whisper from outside is still there, and if you listen closely you feel as if you hear the piano playing.
Carefully and slowly you walk through the room, your reflection in the mirror behind the bar seeming a few moments behind you as you pass by.
Voices from the backroom reach your ear, and you approach. The door is left ajar, and as you hazard a glance into the room you find it empty.
The air is thick with cigar smoke, dimming the light from the small lamp above as it illuminates what looks like — and you are a bit bothered by the fact that you can tell — the aftermath of an attempt of cheating at Poker gone wrong.
The table is pure chaos, chips and money strewn all over it. Chairs have been knocked over, drinks have been spilled.
And everywhere are splatters of blood.
As you slowly move around the table you find that despite the chaos the hands of cards are all laid out neatly in front of the players’ spots.
“I didn’t cheat,” a desperate voice whispers into your ear and you spin around looking for the speaker. There’s no one here but you. “Show them that I didn’t cheat.”
You blink, a shiver running down your spine. You look at the cards.
Bordello
You have been to bordellos from Boston to San Francisco, and what you step into as you push open the elaborately carved double doors feels as if these are all of them all at once.
The parlor is richly decorated with wine-red wallpaper and polished, almost black wainscoting. A small, crystal chandelier hangs overhead, and vases and marble statues hold lush greenery.
You’re not entirely certain you could afford an evening here if you’d wanted.
Yet you feel a shiver run down your spine at the utter lack of anyone else around. Nevertheless you feel someone watching you still. You look around when gentle music reaches your ear from the upper floor.
As you ascend the stairs you could swear the flowers below are wilting in their vases and the wallpaper peels and rots as the parlor fades from your focus.
Steadily you move along the corridor. Much too long for the house it’d seem, much too dim for all the lamps flickering on the walls. As you walk, following the music, one of the heavy doors creaks open, giving you passage to where the sound is coming from.
Carefully you glance into the room to find a lone woman sitting on a small table by the open window, listening to a phonograph playing an unfamiliar, unreal song.
As you enter she turns to face you, smiling gently. You flinch back.
If you wouldn’t know better you’d say she’s made from porcelain, her skin too smooth, too pale. But her eyes seem friendly, albeit you feel you are looking into the eyes of several people at the same time.
She looks you over and picks up a silver cigarette case.
“Mind if I smoke?” she asks, but you are not entirely certain that she actually said anything.
“No, go ahead,” you answer, trying to assess the situation you’re in.
You smile a little awkwardly as she picks out a cigarette. And turns to you.
“Got a light?”
You blink, patting your clothes for a box of matches, but to no avail. And shake your head ‘No’.
The woman however just smiles and nods at your gun. “I think you do Come now, don’t keep me waiting.” She places the cigarette between her lips and turns her head to the side, just as you realize what she means.
You hesitate.
Church
You are a sinner. There’s no denying that.
But as the church looms over you, its steeple crooked and weatherbeaten, its wooden walls rattling in the wind, you feel like none of that would matter to whomever you might find inside.
And you can’t tell if that good or bad for you.
But be it as it may, you step into the building, the doors creaking gratingly in their hinges. Uneven light filters in through the broken stained glass windows, the scenes depicted shifting and changing in the corner of your eyes.
A lone figure sits in one of the pews, hunched over as if praying.
As you pass by the man on your way to the altar, he speaks up.
“Out of all the places to go, you picked the church?” he asks, and you feel his grin even if you can’t see it. “What makes you do so? Is it remorse? Curiosity? Or arrogance?”
You harrumph. “What kind o’ question is that?”
“An important one,” the man answers. “The kind of question they’ll be asking at one’s final trial. Say, whatever you might believe in or think to know, would you say, you could talk your way out of eternal damnation? If that was even possible, that is.”
Any comments?
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Huh quite dark i like it
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Let’s see…
Saloon
“You are certain those are letter”
“Letters” plural, right?
That aside it’s cool and creepy!
Bordello
Will we get the opportunity to decide why the MC has “been to bordellos from Boston to San Francisco”? I would love to play one who didn’t use their “services”, but who may have been for other reasons. Otherwise, what it suggests makes me want to avoid that path (which I can anyway 
)
Church
Some text variations could be cool for the “priest path”, which my MC is following? Like MC feeling guilty for impersonating a priest, or something related to why they choose that place.
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1 question: yep, it will come up at some point if you picked that dream
2nd question: same as above, it’ll come up at a later point when you talk about those dreams with someone
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I like the Text, quite creepy and thats good.
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Updated the game with the dreamsequences. Enjoy.
Edit: I’ll fix some continuity errors and add some page_breaks later today. I’ll let you know <3
EDIT 2: Continuity errors fixed, added some page_breaks in ch1. Ch2 I need to look into yet. Ch3 is at 3000 words.
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Would anyone be interested in a writing / Q&A livestream for this game?
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Writing Livestream Announcement
We’ll be streaming the working on the next chapter of Ballad on Friday 21st at 10pm CET (that’s 1pm pst and 4pm est).
Bring your own music, as twitch is fickly with it.
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I have never been into a writing livestream. How does that work?
Do you write while talking to people and having them help you if you make a typo or something, or things like that, or is it different?
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yeah, basically that. maybe minus the pointing out typos XD
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