The Ballad of Devil's Creek (WiP) (CH3 Up, minor update 06/13/2021)

Soon :smiley: Also, happy forum anniversary to you

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Streams over. Thanks all for stopping by.

and

WE DID IT.
Ch3 is now up. Several additions have been made to the other chapters to.
Ch3 will allow you to set your MC’s race/ethnicity.

Enjoy.

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The date for the update in the title is wrong btw

thanks.
spaceiswarped

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Edited out some typos and added some page_breaks in ch2

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Oookay! I’ve just read the chapter!
Man, it was so cool to actually play through it, instead of merely watching you write it! Though I will admit I think I’ve enjoyed playing even more because I was there during the making of it. It’s a different feeling.

It’s also interesting to see how I have missed some errors and issues during the streams, that appeared more obvious when playing. I’ll go over everything!
Some of them are actually from chapters 1 and 2, curiously.

Also, I didn’t see any mention of MC’s hair, since you asked to keep an eye out for that, so I guess it’s all good.

Okay so, for the things I had to report:

Chapter 1, when Seán is playing the journalist:

When MC can call him out on it, the options to NOT do so both start with “wait what happens”, instead of “wait and see what happens” or something like that.

Chapter 2, during the dream:

When MC decides where to go, the first three locations have some flavor text about them. Like for the livery, the choice says: “Check at the livery. Maybe if I can find a horse…”. But the three other choices just state the place and that’s it, like “Go to the church.”. Maybe it would be good to have a second sentence added to these? :thinking:

Chapter 2, when Seán tells his story:

“but the women what put me in this world didn’t give a shit”
Should be “woman”, right?
Also, I don’t know if the “what put me” is due to accent / speech specificity, or if it’s a typo and should be “who/that put me”.

Chapter 3, when Lowell gets introduced:

I did miss that in the streams, but the description actually says: “A thin man, devastated and nervous looking man with graying ginger hair named Lowell.”
The word “man” gets repeated.

Chapter 3, on the same page:

“In fact, the two man are still quarreling over”
That’d be “the two men”

Chapter 3, when Charlie comes to the restaurant:

“Now, I doubt ya came to both $!{nick} just to while away the evenin’.”
I guess it was meant to be “to bother”?

Chapter 3, shortly after the previous point:

“Noblesse Obliged”
It’s “Noblesse Oblige”, without the “d” at the end.

Chapter 3, still in the restaurant:

“The is something odd in Lynwood’s tone.”
Would be “there is”.

Chapter 3, in the cell:

If selecting the most diplomatic option to convince Tommy, there’s both a bit of stray code and a missing second quotation mark here:
"I’m admittedly as surprised as you are, Mr. Burke. or (decch3 =1)) Each time anew.
(this is copy-pasted from the game itself, not from the code)

Chapter 3, when telling Charlie about the dream:

(Church path + hint obtained)
“No, not like that. Hhe said…”
Typo with “Hhe” instead of “He”.

This is it for the actual errors or issues I have noticed, but there’s one more that’s leaning into the subjective side, at least a bit. Still, I think it’s worth mentionning since I felt it was a bit unfair and confusing at times.

When MC thinks about Tommy looking miserable:

When they’re about to hang Tommy and MC wonders if they’d look miserable or not if they were in Tommy’s place…
Well, in my case, I selected the option that says they would, and they there’s different flavor text depending on if MC’s a planner or not. Now, for the flavor text to be “If they ever manage to outwit you, then, yes”, the player needs to have “tac >=60”. Thing is, there were very few opportunities to affect that stat up until that point - only two, unless there’s one “hidden” in a branch I didn’t do. And in this case, one of my answers made it go down, and the other made it go up, so I ended up with 55 in that stat, and got “You worry that one day your recklessness will be your downfall”, which seems extremely out of character for my MC who isn’t reckless at all, actually. He’s pretty reserved (as much as possible in this game) and not really brave (easily nervous or scared and so on), so he’s basically never reckless.
I think the issue here is a mix of having the requirement a bit high for this check since you basically have to act like a planner in both opportunities offered, and of the fact the phrasing overlaps a bit with the Bold/Timid stat, in relation to what the Bold stat often implies, in choices. What I mean is that with that phrasing, it seems it’s saying MC is bold.
There’s also the fact that, in my case, the “non-planner” option I selected at some point of my playthrough was to let Seán enter the room at the very beginning of the game, thinking that “it seems okay”. The “planner” alternative seems a bit agressive, since MC’s like “I’ll see if the person deserves being shot” or something like that, and I can’t see my MC thinking like that out of the blue, so I can’t really select that option.

Aand that aside…
While I use one of the preset names, I did read the “weirdhorse” things in the code, and I laughed waaay too much at what these names can do, in terms of reactions from the characters. :rofl:
Charlie making MC name their horse after him is beautiful…

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I think it’s paid

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Can we be a villain like tin star in this game?

Nice catches with the typos. As for the bits with planner/non-planner:

I’ll be going over those bits (already planned) and smooth them out, probably dropping multireplace there and working with a small *if tree to cover stats of >65 <35 and in between

Thank you.

Let’s see to it in the stream on sunday :smiley:

You can be an arse, but not an outright villain. unless working with lynwood counts

EDIT: Updated the game with @Konoi 's suggestions (redid the bit when we pity Tommy, and rephrased one of the options in ch1) and fixed the typos they and @Mistyleaf123 spotted.

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Very happy about the update but I’m afraid I’m craving more <3
I don’t have a lot of opinions about desired choices and stuff off the top of my head, (which is a good thing I think lol)

So heres typos and stuff :slight_smile:
(With the disclaimer that I don’t know all that much about western dialects and slang and also that I can’t take screenshots so if you need clarification I’m happy to try)

Typos and stuff :)
Chapter One

“Huh,” he whispers. "If I wouldn’t better I’d say that little crowd’s keepin’ that guy from followin’ us… --missing a ‘know’ – after the tail gets lost

He better comes clear. I’m losing my patience. --come clean – when talking to O’Brian in the Art gallery
“Not necessarily,” the woman comments. “If it were for me you’d swing in the evening. But, alas, the boss needs you.” – for me to say? – carriage ride after captured

It’s what some muse dwells in the valley of Devil’s Creek – a little confusing, I assume its musing kind of muse and not the art kind, but it may be clearer as ‘say’ or something.

“Be it as it is,” Mrs. Meadows interrupts. “But you have been there the night Robert Brightwell died, O’Brian.” – ‘be that’ and either ‘had been’ or ‘were there’ – last page of chapter 1

O’Brian frowns again. “Doctor’s order, I guess,” he murmurs and slings away, looking positively miserable. – slinks – last page of chapter 1

Chapter Two

A solar eclipse is bathing the scenery in a bizarre light, casting shadows in all the wrong direction – directions – first page of chapter 2

You turn to look around you. --*subjective but I’d take out the second you or change it to something like ‘the area’ – first page of chapter 2

You look at Charlie who just shrugs and dugs into the bathroom just as O’Brian returns. – ducks? – morning at blaynes

“Me ma’s been a dollymop,” Finley announces shyly before you can say anything else. “I-I only learned that when I ran into a friend o’ hers a while ago. Me da’s been one o’ her regulars. So regular that he certainly was more than just a client.” – Is the usage of present tense intentional? His mothers dead and this happened at least a decade ago (admittedly I am not well versed in the speech patterns of 1800’s americans(who use british slang)).

“Yeah, an’ all that for a guy I didn’t even ever see in me life.” – *subjective ‘ain’t even seen’ – right before naming your horse

You look at Charlie. Apparently Blayne did not play for everything after all. – plan? – right before naming your horse

I don’t doubt that, lad. Look, I ain’t trying to ‘cause Blayne any harm. I’m just goin’ to get some vital info. I’m not keen on going into something like this while being givin’ only crumps of information. – crumbs? – right after naming your horse

You grin. Regardless of what you yourself think of Charlie’s abilities, the two of you agree that the death don’t seem to know anything but the immediate future, while the forces of the beyond that guide Charlie tarot readings are dreadfully obtuse on purpose. – dead? – charlie catches up before you talk to blayne

Still drowsy and rather disheveled you make your way back outside to the others. A yawn, a bit of heveling yourself and off you are.-- I looked this word up but theres only some german dude-- apology to charlie

Chapter Three

No, it’s not the first time you are here, and just like the last time it is an experience you could very well have done without. They do have a new sheriff, though. – still not sure if it’s intentional but I’ll add it anyway, ‘you’ve been here’ – first page chapter 3

You shakes yourself out of these thoughts, and look at the gallows. You’re a little surprised to see Burke looking around a little baffled all of a sudden, but you figure he felt your eyes on him. – shake – watching tommy

“As we figured,” he says. “Ya know the tales 'bout him, they don’t sound like done by someone just a bit older than you.” – like they’re or something – watching tommy

Lynwood says, sounding oddly detached all of a sudden. Then he shakes his head and looks at you again. “It’ll be prison first, least you do something between now and then that would make a quick hanging necessary.” – lest – annoying pink after tommy

“You seem very certain of that, Mr. Solomon.” Lynwood drums his fingers on the table. “Just so you know, this is a one-time offer. Once I am leaving this table, you’ve wasted your chance.” – *subjective-ish ‘once I leave this’ – annoying pink after tommy

“People call him a lunatic for that plan,” he says. “I should know, I’m one of them. Going through the entire massive of the foothills… that’s nearly 20 miles. But he heard of Burke and had send a telegraph to Redhurst, requesting the young man’s service.” – massive foothills or mass of the foothills? – lowell show up to dinner

“They’ve done a lot of good for the country’s high society and tycoon an’ prevented them from damage, Agent Lynwood.” – tycoons? – right before nationality

Yeah. Not too bad at least." you mumble and rub sleep from your eyes. At least there have been no weird dreams this night. “How’s O’Brian?” – just in case on the tense thing ‘there were no weird dreams last night’ – waking up in fiddler’s

Charlie ties his eye-patch back into place and shakes his head. “Back at Blayne’s house. Ya slept so uneasy ya drew me contacts’ attention. Didn’t had a chance to mention it yet.” – have – waking up in fiddler’s

You hadn’t yet decided on what you should do about that nightmare, but if the death told Charlie about it the best course of action is to let the cat out of the bag. – dead? – waking up in fiddler’s

When Charlie had first explained to you what exactly his gift entitles, you had been a bit freaked out about the prospect of the death watching your every move. But Charlie had quickly reassured you that they only watch the living when there’s either something really important to them, or if something so peculiar happens that it draws their attention. – entails? dead? – waking up in fiddler’s

As Finley leaves you look at O’Brian, and see him bite his lips, fingers curling into the sheets. – lip – before tommy comes in

“Ya seem unshakable certain about it,” you muse aloud, and O’Brian gives you a half-hearted glare. – unshakably – before tommy comes in

“Y’know, I doubt that it can be so bad. Ai’nt tryin’ to belittle ya, but… Y’know, he’s still here. He coulda just went back to Redhurst, or somethin’ to get away if he’d really hate ya this much.” – ain’t-- *subjective? ‘if he really hates’ – tommy comes in

“You tell us,” Mrs. Meadows says. "Can you get O’Brian to confess the murder or Robert Brightwell? – of – tommy comes in

Alright, long of the short: It all went well till a storm broke loose. Prescott an’ the few o’ his men that were still alive at the point managed to make a run for it. – the long and short of it? – tommy talking about the cave or whatever

An’ then Innes came in, he’s been scoutin’ the area, an’ told us we drew some attention from the law an’ we oughta get out… We didn’t even have time to bury our death…" – he’d? – talking about bridge
"We parted way, got our bacon outta there. Tommy an’ I… we wound up in Potter’s Spring. – ways – talking about bridge

When talking to Finley in morning
“Yeah, no harm done.” You tell him what you told O’Brian before. Finley listens eagerly. – chose that charlie saved my life which ended up not being a story so ‘finley listens eagerly’ is a little bit weird

Looking forwards to tomorrow! <3
Oh yeah if I said anything stupid or something just pretend it never happened please :slight_smile:

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thanks for finding these.

as for the ‘heveling’ that’s a really groan-worthy pun with disheveled

The bit with finley talking about his mum, i’m not entirely certain what you mean here?

edit:
replaced ‘massive of foothills’ with ‘span of foothils’

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You use present tense (so ma’s been → has been) which implies that she still is a dollymop and da’s been implies that he still is a regular, despite one party being dead. I don’t know if the tense is intentional or a mistake – Since this is in the past I thought it might have been explained in past tense (so; Me ma was a dolly mop, da was one of her regulars)

Although I’m admittedly unsure if it’s a product of the usage of western accents and it’s just something I’ve never heard in that way – if so sorry :slight_smile: I’m a little stupid which I blame on my parents and no fault of my own <3

I notice the word been is used a lot which leads me to believe that it is an accent thing, but I’m not sure how well it works in this specific case

edit: There were a few cases of present tense when there “shouldn’t” be but I don’t think it’s a very big deal

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ahh.
well, it’s one of the cases where it shows english isn’t my first language.

I’ll fix stuff asap and add in more horse name shenanigans

EDIT: Typos have been fixed, Shenanigans have been committed. Enjoy

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Hey, Meeps. i hope you don’t mind me asking what are your plans for today’s stream?

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We can do two things:

  1. Do a playthrough of the game so far
    or
  2. continue with ch4

what would you people prefer?

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I’d be happy with either!.. I expected to have more input-- I do not

edit: I guess a playthrough would make it a little easier if you wanted thoughts on the update? It also sounds like it’d be pretty chill, which is fun

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i’m good with both but a playthrough would be a nice change of pace.

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I guess I would prefer writing, but that’s mostly because there are only very few people I watch as far as game streaming goes. It also depends on the game, though? :thinking:

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it would be a playthrough of what we got of Devil’s Creek so far

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Oh okay!
Well, that wouldn’t be for me because of my whole “canon playthrough” deal :rofl:
But well, you should do what you want - it’s not as if I NEEDED to be there for every single stream!

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