The Amberwood Series (WIP)

I can see where you’re coming from! I’ll have to keep this all in mind if I do rewrites.

Nyx does trust MC quite a bit actually. I look forward to when I can spill the deets of his past before meeting MC.

@hgbird prepare to be bombarded with DMs- I have faced burnout a thousand times. I faced it with art so badly that I couldn’t even doodle for nearly two years.

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perhaps a bit off topic but i can’t help myself-

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Laughs in romancing Ileana

Also, I do agree that the MC comes off as a little well… incapable during the first two chapters, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. It can make it a lot more satisfying if MC does manage to become capable later in the story, for example.

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The MC act and sounds like a classic side character created for comedy relief and to make the protagonist (in this case Nyx…I think?) look more smart/badass. Did you create on purpose their personality with that idea in mind? If this were the case, then it would be a good starting point for a possible journey of character development, yay! :grinning: (if not than…well…that was just my impression I guess?)

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I needed that laugh, I really hope ya’ll end up liking Ileana when she comes in.

And yes, that’s what I thought too. I love the concept of a weak, more or less useless character growing to become a total badass.
@Vofademp Ah. Well, good thing I plan on rewrites. That’s a big oof. I suck at writing characters, and it’s even harder for this because I don’t want MC to be a blank slate, but I also want MC to have some sort personality. …I might need a longer break to figure this out.

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I mean, I don’t dislike the current Mc’s personality concept to be onest. Actually starting the story as an incompetent (but with a good sense of humor) dude completely overshadowed by the badass adopted brother and far from being respected by their parents is pretty entertaining and fun in my opinion, so the Mc’s personality isn’t really a problem that you should worry about (as long as the character development will be present naturally)

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I can’t wait! :slight_smile: Also, God, I feel that.

I haven’t posted my thoughts here yet, but I will soon! I’m super excited to see where this story goes.

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I understand! But I also know a lot of people get irritated by it, hell, even I do if it’s particularly bad. Like a damsel in distress. I’m gonna go ahead and ask if I could DM you with some questions, because I’m curious about a few things now, and I’d like to hear your thoughts.

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That’s ok with me, I would be more than happy to be somehow useful for your project so don’t hesitate to ask something :+1:

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The MC is a little incompetent but I personally don’t find it irritating, largely because it’s offset quite nicely by the humour, such as when the MC slips climbing up the tree trunk, the reaction was pretty much what I was thinking, so rather than being annoyed by the clumsiness I found myself laughing instead. Plus, if they’ve been sheltered it makes sense that they’d struggle in the field, also makes them more relatable. Honestly one of the most enjoyable and amusing MCs that I’ve come across in these games.

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I really reaaaally love this story. At first, I didnt like the mc character (it makes me remember an annoying heroine anime character from Vampire knight) but as the story go on, their character become more likeable to me and the backstory fit in with them. I didnt like nyx too at the the beginning but now he is my bias :heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes:. Thats why, I feel like whatever you write, whatever the mc character will be, I will totally fall in love with your story.

Thanks for your time and effort on making and sharing The amberwood series. Im looking forward to your update🤗.

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holy cow I forgot all about VK and I remembered being so frustrated with Yuki after her awakening- I dunno if that’s who you meant but whoooo boy. Could I ask you to DM me? I’d love to know what made MC become likable since I’m considering changing up MC’s define traits. Thank you for the kind words!

@Minnaloushe Even still, I don’t want MC to feel like a side character when, as someone else said, they are overshadowed by someone like Nyx. Which could work in my favor when writing because it allows the player to grow MC into becoming a badass and holding their own. ;; Writing characters is hard for me, and MC has to be the hardest.

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I’m tagging @Screechingcockroach specifically because they pointed out this issue, so thank you for doing so! If any one else did, thank you as well!

I have it fixed it now, but please let me know anything else comes up! In playing, I realized there is a lot of text and not a lot of choices…? Or maybe it seems that way to me. I gotta work on taking more out that can be deemed unimportant or unnecessary…

Rewrites will be coming some time after the holidays! It will include new scenes in chapter one, allowing more choices and a peek into the world of TAS. If there’s anything you’d like to see, please DM me here OR on my tumblr and give me your ideas! I know I can’t please everyone, but I do want to include more choices in something that feels more like a book and less like an interactive fictional novel.
Please be safe for those traveling, stay warm and dry, and happy Thanksgiving everyone! Thank you for the patience!

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Ummm for example put on the title :

The amberwood series (CH.4 11/27/2019)

So that way people just browsing the forum can tell if there is new content on the wip and when it was updated.

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OH! okay! Yeah, I can do that come the next update!

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Alright! Hello everyone! I’ve made some changes to Amberwood, including a new Update Page! The changes include new scenes to Chapter One, new stats, and more! Please let me know what you think, and thank you for the patience!

Amberwood is back to continue!

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The rewrites are very coherent, and I like that you can outright snub jerkwad to his face if you want to. I’m with Nyx on the hotdog thing. How does slapping the word ‘organic’ on it suddenly make those things any healthier? :sweat_smile:

There was a point of narrative stutter between transitioning from the car scene leaving with Nyx, and arriving at the family gym to train with Nyx, but that could be fixed by renaming that “Next” page turning button something like “Later at the family gym…” or whatever sounds better to you, because my offering here is a little on the droll side. :thinking:

About editing/proofreading

Okay, real talk here, Prism. Do you really want a proofreader at this stage of your IF book’s development?

The biggest reason not to go all in polishing up these early chapters is that any potential rewrites for the sake of consistency, as much as your own personal satisfaction with how the words flow, throw all that extra effort out the window whenever it happens.

That said, if you can promise it’s less compounding upon your own stress, and more of a relief that eases your concerns, I can help with grammar/spelling flubs. Here’s one small example:

While I’m certain there have been thieves named Rouge in both real life and fictional settings, thievery alone does not make one a Rogue. :grin:

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I changed the text to your suggestion as I quite liked it, and it made sense what you mentioned. I didn’t think about it;;
edit: forgot to mention I’ll reupload chap.1 with the edit tomorrow

Summary

I’m not terribly certain what you mean (but I will change the rogue thing. It was the first thing that came to mind while typing oof). Forgive me. The rewrites helped, and it’s certainly better than it was initially, I just have…concerns. Not sure how to put it into words actually-

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It’s okay to give yourself time to process if you’re having trouble finding the words to get to the heart of your misgivings. Still, I’m (well, pretty much all of us who like what you’ve brought to the table) all ears if you want to ‘waffle’ your way through it. Meandering until I find the words is something I myself do when trying to more actively process something. Simply making the attempt to put it into words can sometimes clear the air, because the attempt experiments with the feel of words as you use them.

By proofreading, I mean I can find and report every little detail that reads a little rough due to grammar, or spelling. That would all be dependent on your requesting it, because I don’t want to just distract you with these little things that can wait, and you do have a life outside of your WIP. In the case of the ‘rogue’ thing, a spellchecker would never have found that error because it wasn’t a misspelled word. Just a misused one. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Having read it all, because for some reason the site keeps freezing up on me. But from what I read so far it’s enjoyable. I particularly like how you describe places or introduce the mythology/beliefs of the story. I can picture it like a movie and it’s so nice.

But I have some questions. I’ll ask the rest later since they might be answered in the demo (when the site stops freezing on me). But at the moment,
is there any particular reason for the given last name options? We are given quite a few, but there isn’t a variety of ethnic options.

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Assuming I understand this correctly, my brain seems to be mush today: I wanted readers to be able to customize their name. I always liked doing so, even if the name had no effect on the story and was just another title characters called MC by. I can change a few surnames if you’d like! I thought about putting in a Spanish, or German…I contemplated Japanese too. But then I just didn’t do it?? Lol, but I can change a few things of course. If there’s a name you’d like to see, let me know!

@LadyUmbreon89 Thank you! Honestly, I have no life outside of this, not really. I could spend all day doing this if it didn’t cause burn out or anything :joy: lord help me I might have to take you up on the offer though, because there have been times in writing when spellchecking and such, with every mistake, I become a little more disheartened or something. i’m fragile

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