180 Files: The Aegis Project (spy/thriller) (new short demo 24 Feb)

Why’d no one say that you can’t get to chapter 4! :scream: There must be a rogue *ending command in there. Sorry guys… I’ll fix it when I get home.

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Ok. You can access Chapter 4 now. Promise :smiley: I checked properly this time.

And if you take a look, I would really like some feedback on the fight scene, since it’s not my best area in writing. Does it flow well? Are the different options different enough from each other? And are there any continuity errors?

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Pst…

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Aw, and I thought that was impossible… thanks for catching it though!

And… fixed. Or should be, anyway.

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Noticed a very small mistake that no-one will care about: when agent 100 is about to give a few gadgets to the MC, she says “apportez moi les lentilles. Les bleus.”. To be entirely correct, it should be “les bleues”.

Anyway, new chapter seems to be in working order, and pretty exciting to play! Nothing like a car chase to liven things up.

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Well, imho, the MC didn’t feel very human, didn’t seem to feel the effects of what they were doing on their own body. For example, when MC kicks one of the attackers, he’s sent sprawling and falls “heavily” against a car. The attackers are “big” and wear heavy clothing, so let’s say 220+ pounds. The amount of force that would be needed for this to occur is very high, yet the MC is unperturbed by it, without any recoil/off-balance or mention of ankle/tendon strain from a sudden application of force. In that respect the fight scene was a bit flat, but perhaps the MC is in superb physical condition and I’m just nitpicking again. It’d probably be difficult to add such detail and keep the pacing (which was done nicely through the stylistic fragmentation) appropriate, though, I’d imagine :no_mouth:

Typo: “That smell of cleaning fluid hung was on the bat as well.”

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Ooh, thanks! The French lady probably ought to be speaking accurate French :slight_smile:

Well the MC is in superb shape, but I see what you mean. I’ll see about adding a bit more physical detail.

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I updated the Angel bit in the RO list, and it got me thinking, so here’s some stuff about that, if only to get it straight in my own head.

If it wasn’t clear, Angel is a romance option, but it’s the most difficult of the romances, in more ways than one. It won’t necessarily end badly, but getting the ‘good’ ending will take a quite specific kind of MC, and there’s a lot of ways everything can derail. Angel sees most people as a means to an end, so getting past their manipulation attempts and keeping their attention will need an MC who keeps on their toes (and is kind of lacking in sense). And of course, the Agency would not be happy about you fraternising with an enemy agent - if they knew.

It’s also probably the least traditional of the romances in the sense that Angel really isn’t a sentimental person, so it’s not really going to be a handholding and professions of devotion deal.

Idk, I think it might be unpopular, because people like the fluffy ROs and happy endings, but it’s sure going to be fun to write. :smiling_imp:

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But will Angel actually care about the MC? Further down the road, I mean. I wouldn’t mind the rocky start or the cold relationship - since it’s their personality and they are the enemy after all - but only if I feel like they eventually warm up to us.

Plus I, personally, am not really big on the mushy fluffy stuff. I’d rather much have a real, down to earth relationship.

But if, by the end, they just see us as a slightly less annoying tool than before… Then I don’t think it’s worth it. ((For me, of course. This is just my personal taste!)

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Hmmm… yes, inasmuch as they really know how to? But their version of caring might not look quite the same as coming from a normal person.

Not even cold, really… maybe the best way to put it is that they’re the opposite of the Ice Queen kind of trope - they can be be fun and flirty on the outside, but inside they’re a jerk, lol.

I see the good ending as you ending up having a sort of ‘partners in crime’ thing. Like, you understand each other.

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Loving this game right now! I love Hitman styled games, and now in a format like this. Yay. Really liking Agent 100, I think they could have an interesting relationship.

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Thank you! Yeah, Agent 100’s going to be an interesting one.

Speaking of 100, have you already decided on making him heterosexual or are you still open for pleas and the like? 'Cause I quite like him but I’m a guy (as is my MC).

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I’m still open to making him bi :woman_shrugging:

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I’m going to start the “Please Make 100 Bi” Club. Who’s with me?!

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I actually think that since you already have a gay RO and 3 bi/pan ROs, Agent 100 should stay straight.

Regarding the fight scene @Scribblesome , I feel you about having a hard time writing those T_T I think it’s well done, though! The choice where you have to ‘spring into motion’ vs ‘strike back hard’ is a little confusing to me. I equate striking back with springing into motion LOL, so maybe if you could clarify just a little there? Otherwise I like it! The scene is short but it gets the point across effectively.

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Good Game! Crystal really broke my heart(and a couple of other things) but I’ll try to patch things up if and when opportunity arises :grin:

Errors, Typos and stuff

You don’t like to jump to conclusions. Did they give you the file on your cover identity?"

Forgot a " there

And an error when selecting ‘Gossip News’

The mess - it shows the intruder wasn’t worried abut anyone finding out.

about

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Actual picture of me trying to plot out Chapter Seven

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Ok I’ll try to tweak that! Basically the fight styles work out as speed (Suave) vs strength (Ruthless) vs strategy (Technical). It’s just a question of making it clear without being super obvious!

I mean, I see what you mean… but he wouldn’t be the only straight person to ever come up in the series.

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ah yes, Charlie Kelly, a bird lawyer. if you watch the show…there is a theory that Dee is pregnant with Charlies’ child.