When you keep reading, it becomes obvious that Ghillie is talking about the MC’s dad, but initially it feels like they’re calling the MC Thomas. It throws the reader off a tiny bit, but I think that kind of stumble on the reader’s part only enhances the ‘otherness’ of the scene since we’re dealing with Fae. 
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Sorry,I didn’t realise.
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Omg, Isolde is so cute! 
She feels almost like our little sister. I really hope that she doesn’t die or get hurt, I’m gonna be extremely sad if it happens 
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Oh boy, me too! D:
I’m really people seem to love her, though.
Thanks for your input. That was what I was going for, but I might try to make it a little more obvious anyway since I do understand that it can be confusing, and players (a) can be named Tomas and (b) don’t know the father’s name. Sometimes I forget that while I might know a character’s name already, the player doesn’t.
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Aw no fish wife for straight male 
, oh well still a fun read.
Chapter 3 is up!
What I am most concerned about, regarding feedback:
- Does Alexis’ romance feel as if it is moving too fast? Due to his reletive isolation, he will be fairly “easy” to romance/befriend because of a desire for companionship, but I don’t want it to feel rushed or unnatural.
- Is Isolde’s chronic illness portrayed fairly?
- Are there any choices you wanted, but didn’t get?
Because the major branches will start here, future chapters will be released 1/2 at a time. I expect to have chapter four released in mid-January. There will probably be a small update between now and then to the current chapters with improvements and fixes.
Which character is most interesting to you?
- Alexis
- Art
- Bea
- Isolde
0 voters
Hope you enjoy!
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Hi! I just tried to play and I got these error messages upon opening the link. I just found this and it sounds really interesting! I’m excited to check it out
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Thanks. It should work now.
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Chapter 3 is present in the code, but it doesn’t seem to want to load up when playing the demo. Not as of right now when I tested it. Rather than a bug, it just went to the finish page at the end of the scene where everyone disguised themselves as servants/commoners.
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Hello! The demo only ended at everyone ready to take some rest, I can’t seem to play chapter 3… Btw I love your story 
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Ahh… I forgot to change *ending to *finish. It should be fixed now.
[quote=“duki, post:30, topic:90377, full:true”]
Hello! The demo only ended at everyone ready to take some rest, I can’t seem to play chapter 3… Btw I love your story
[quote=“duki, post:30, topic:90377”]
Thank you very much!
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Hi! This segment doesn’t make any sense 
I can’t wait to meet the other characters. A question: We know Alexis, Art, Ren and Bea are ROs but who’s the fifth one?
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That’s a bug. I’ll take care of it.
The fifth RO is Helena. So far she only shows up on your stat screen, and she won’t be introduced until chapter five or six, depending on what route you take. She’s a member of the Salvian parliament and an heiress.
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This seems interesting!
Maybe you can convince her that she doesn’t really want to go into the forest. “Isolde, do you want to me my little brother?”
A typo I think?
“You’re a druid?” you ask. “What’s that?”
“Yes,” he replies solemnly. “I do. I was just like you once.”
The second response is the same as the one for the other choice. “I do. I was just like you once.”
Can’t wait for more updates!
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For some reason this " chapterthree line 1265: Non-existent variable ‘secondary_goal’ " message comes up, it’s after choosing routes for either V’s or Slav’s (couldn’t remember the name I’m sorry). I picked to ask Alexis for his opinion and that happened.
Also, is it possible to save progress? I’d rather not to play it from the beginning everytime
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This is a bug that shows up when you try to choose both the Vildevakt paths:)
Otherwise I really enjoy the game so far! I’m head over heels for Alexis already and I can’t wait to read more of your work! Oh and Merry Christmas!
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I just found The Advisor, and I want to congratulate you for developing such a lovely piece of literature. I’m genuinely really excited to see where the story goes; the setting and creatures you’ve developed are really intriguing! I typed up some feedback (and a bug report!), but it got long, so it’s collapsed below. Please feel free to ask for clarification if I say something that doesn’t make sense!! Thank you for sharing your story with us here on the forums. : )
All feedback in here! Don't worry; it's mostly positive. *Spoilers blurred, perhaps excessively.*
Responses to the Ch3 feedback questions:
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I did kind of feel like Alexis’ path moved jarringly quickly. For instance, it seemed to me that in the middle of an escape from an invasion may not be the best time for a ‘platonic confession,’ so to speak, directed towards a stranger who coincidentally shows up the same day your home is invaded. His entire world is coming apart; why is he so ready to reach out to a largely-untested stranger even amidst that? I get that he’s desperate for companionship, but it just seems kind of recklessly and irrationally eager, I guess – like, why is he not at all suspicious or distressed instead of fully ready for emotional bonding moments? I, for one, would be super suspicious of the Seer if I were in his shoes.
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So far, I think the way you’re handing Isolde’s illness works well. I’m not completely clear on how old she is, but she seems quite young, and I totally buy and empathize with her sort of…childlike frustration with her family and inability to really understand their worries. I think it’s a good set-up for some kind of future character dynamic between her and Alexis, and I’d be interested to see how that shepherding/protection affects her personality later on, if that is an area that you plan on exploring!
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Below:
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a) I personally would have liked some more collaboration between the members of the Seer’s party in regards to decisions. There were a few moments during which I had the thought, “Wait, why does the Seer get to decide/say/do this? They have no seniority and almost no established trust.” (e.g. when you choose whether to go to warn the king or into the forest for the staff)
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b) I would have liked the option to propose a neutral meeting spot in the conversation with Art and/or to discuss with Alexis what to do? The party has no way of knowing it’s safe to go to this meeting at an unknown location with at least one stranger, and I’d think Alexis may want to prioritize Isolde’s safety over all else, especially since she’s his last link to his entire life and family at this point. Maybe that’s a misreading of the situation; I don’t know.
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c) The chance to just check in with everyone at camp would be nice, instead of having to choose one thing to do. For instance, I don’t get why we have to make the choice to go get water OR check on Isolde (if I remember the choice correctly) – I may be misgauging the urgency of the moment, but I don’t see why you couldn’t do both or at least let her know where you and her brother are going, especially since she’s probably still shaken at this point.
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Miscellaneous Feedback:
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I noticed that some of Alexis’ speech patterns seemed a bit jarringly modern and colloquial at times. To me, it would make sense – given his isolation away from any peers, as well as the story’s setting – that he wouldn’t have such a casual style of speaking. Not that he has to be stiff and formal or anything, but it struck me as odd how few reservations he has in his speech around a companion his age after never having made a friend before.
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The fae lore is immensely interesting, and I adore how you don’t shy away from emphasizing the uncanny and less-than-conventionally-attractive aspects of the various creatures. For instance, the way you allow Bea’s appearance to be seen as unusual (beyond typical fantasy-merfolk traits that don’t diminish one’s ‘beauty’), but also distinctly allow the main character to be attracted to her anyways is really sweet and a refreshing change from the pristine and chiseled-from-marble characters, especially love interests, that we so often see in fiction.
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I feel as though the inciting incident (the summons from the jarl through the storming of the castle and the jarl’s death) comes around too quickly for it to really have any emotional impact on the reader. I don’t care that the jarl was decapitated or that the Seer’s family is in danger; I haven’t been given any substantial and compelling time with them. I don’t even know the jarl’s name! So I’m definitely not invested enough in their safety to, say, not immediately stake their survival on a lost but really cool magical stick that may or may not exist. This produced a critical lack of stakes in the narrative for me, which kind of crippled the tension and some of the investment. Emotional impact may not have been the goal of the events, but I figured it was worth mentioning regardless.
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That being said, I really do love the setting and the direction the story seems to be going. The fair folk are one of my favorite mythological subjects, and I love how much respect you’re showing the more traditional and dangerous side of the legend, what with the deals and debts and trickery. I’m excited to hear more about the forest and the fae who live there, as well as (hopefully) how Alexis interacts with his identity as a part-member of both fae and human societies.
I’m sorry for the length of this: I got a bit carried away in places. Hopefully this all makes sense; all constructive feedback is offered from a a place of enthusiasm for the novel. I’m wishing you infinite luck, inspiration, and patience in your writing and coding!
Also, a bug report or 4:
I’m receiving this error message:
chapterthree line xxxx: Non-existent variable 'secondary_goal’
(line number is different for each option: 1222, 1238, 1251, and 1265, down the list of options)
upon selecting any of the options for a plan (i.e. whether to go warn the king or venture into the Vildevakt). I’m not sure if this is a bug or just where the demo ends, given that I can’t interact with any of the selections, but it seemed odd, so I figured I’d report it. : )
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chapterthree line 1238: Non-existent variable ‘secondary_goal’
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Thank you so much for the feedback! I have been addressing your concerns as I work on the next update, and it has been very helpful. I’m so glad you like the way I described Bea and the other Faery-type characters–I have always preferred when inhuman characters were genuinely unsettling as opposed to ethereally beautiful.
This is where the demo ends for now. Once the story hits this point, it splits into two distinct paths.
This is a typo. It has been fixed in the most recent version of the game, but will not be visible until I next update, which should be within the next few days.
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Hi found a bug for chapterthreeline:1251 or one of the chapter three lines. Could not figure out how to take a screen shot.