The Advisor WIP -- Updated 2/28/23 (~3k words added)

You are Sighted, one of the rare individuals who can see through magical illusions, ghosts, and visions of future deaths. The local lord, known as the Jarl, has summoned you to the capital city of Grunvik to assist him with a secret plan to find his son, Samuel to name as his heir. However, when an empire to the north attacks the keep, you flee the castle along with Alexis, a changeling, Isolde, a young noble, and Bea, a member of a reclusive underwater society.

Choosing to seek aid either from an ancient foe or modern ally, the four of you encounter various unique individuals, including either Art, the bastard-born heir to a foreign throne seeking to reclaim their kingdom, or Ren, a reticent man who holds his past close to his chest. As time marches on, you find yourself in a position to influence events all across the continent.

FEATURES:

  • Current overall wordcount: ~57k
  • Engage in political intrigue or high-fantasy adventure
  • Multiple unique endings
  • Play as gay/straight/bi/ace
  • Six LIs to choose from

TRIGGERS
You play a character with the ability to see when someone is about to die and how. As a result, this game may include graphic or upsetting imagery including violence against children.

Currently, I am writing chapter 4, which will be the first major story branch and will involve introducing 2-3 more love interests.

New Demo: https://dashingdon.com/play/hminger/the-advisor/mygame/
Old Demo: https://dashingdon.com/go/7240

Desired feedback includes: plot holes, need for clarification, additional choices that you want, coding or grammatical errors, etc.

Love Interests

Alexis Valens
Alexis, 20, is a Changeling living in Grunvik Keep, having been swapped for Jarl Erik’s son eighteen years ago. At seven years old, the switch was revealed, but the jarl and jarlessa were unable to fulfill the brutal conditions for forcing an exchange back, not when they had already loved the boy for five years. Instead, Alexis grew up among anti-fae nobles who became increasingly hostile over time. Torn between distaste for the court and a yearning for acceptance, Alexis struggles to find his place in the world.
Beatrice Marsyas
Bea, 24, arrived in Grunvik with the intention of forging a connection between her people and the land-dwellers, something she has trained for her entire life. Upon arrival, she finds it to be cold, despite the burning summer sun. Determined to bring a piece of her people’s philosophy beyond the shoreline, Bea is not going home yet. (not romanceable by men)
Art McRath
Art, 24, lost their last remaining family following a massacre of their homelands by the advancing Asmanian army. They seek to avenge their home and restore their homeland’s independence. Achieving this is impossible to do alone, and they seek allies in their quest.
Ren Heissler
Ren, 23, is more and more unsure of the direction his people are heading and whether he is willing to follow. Abandoning his position in the army, he follows the wake of the Imperial army and offers aid to the survivors left behind and to the refugees fleeing their ruined homes. Despite the travesties he has witnessed, he remains loyal to his homeland. However, as all-out war approaches, his commitment to his ideals and to his country will be tested. (only romanceable by men)
Helena t’Lamia
Helena, 27, is the youngest member of the Rits Parliament and has caught the attention of the royal family. Beautiful, cunning, and ambitious, she relinquished her position as the head of her family’s shipping company in order to devote herself to navigating the schemes and secrets of the court. Rumored to be the Princess’ eyes and ears at court, all are clamoring for her favor.
Mariet Slag
Mariet, 23, grew up with you in Surborn as part of the sole family of followers of the One God. When the Imperial army descends, she is cornered between the country she left and the one where she has made her home.

370 Likes

I’ll keep an eye on this :grin:

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I’m enjoying this so far! I chose the two fae as the origins of my powers, really well done in creating the ambience of that scene with poor Ewan being freezing cold. However I wanted to point out that I didn’t get to see every interaction in that scene so I didn’t find out Aileen’s name until I saw the Politics route. Not a big issue since it’s easy enough to figure out that connection, but thought I would mention it.

I’m super interested in the Loyalties and Ambitions mechanics in the stats screens, can’t wait to see how those play out.

I spotted a very minor formatting error. When I chose to get more info on each route, the previous page beginning with Present Day started at the end of the last route’s description and needs a line break. (sorry, forgot to screenshot!)

I think this is off to a great start and I’m looking forward to the next chapters!

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Very interesting, bookmarking it :wink:

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To bad for “the second sight” the story /drama was great .
Not a fan of the news plop … classic wizard in king court .
i think i pass this time but good luck for your news game .

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This is really good so far! I love the concept and can’t wait to meet the characters some more!

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Clarity and emotional state have gone beyond its max limit.

Thank you very much for your kind feedback. I have gone through and cleaned up what was written.

@Manaxaggd @Bulk_Biceps Fixed.

I’m sorry this one isn’t your cup of tea. I do still plan to hit the same major plot beats I had planned on in Second Sight, but with a different beginning. Thank you for the well-wishes though!

Thank you! I’m very excited to share them with you all! Some of them have been with me for years.

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I am really enjoying this so far! Right from the beginning you pulled me in and then kept my attention until the end. Your descriptive writing made me feel as if I were in the world- I can’t wait for more updates.

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I was a big fan of Second Sight and its fantastic to see you continuing in this way, I’m super excited to see where this takes us!

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Sounds interesting I’ll check it out

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This is really interesting so far, am looking forward to seeing more.

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This has promise.

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The Chapter Two update is up!

This update includes:

  • The entirety of chapter two, including early romance choices and two new characters
  • Cleanups of the prologue and chapter one

The next update will include chapter three and is expected to be complete by mid-December.

I hope you all enjoy!

20 Likes

I love the beginning. The characters are endearing. I already feel quite attached to them,especially Isolde. Big must protect vibe.

I do have some minor suggestions tho :
I had a tiny bit of difficulty knowing what choices did what sometime. Like when you write to your father I wish it was more clear that deciding that you wouldn’t tell him anyway mean you aren’t close. As I would not have tell him for security reasons cuz Mc care a lot about her family and don’t want to put them in danger that kind of things.

Or maybe some others choices ?
Like when it ask if your happy your brother came. I would have totally chosen a choices that said “No cuz he’s a brat but you love him anyway” Like you like your brother. But you didn’t want him to come cuz you know he’s going to cause mayhem. (Chaotic teenage boys is exactly the vibe I got from mc brothers so far lol)
Or even a choice to be worry when our brother start to run and tell him it’s dangerous and too come here ect. Like just a worry big sister choice. I think it would fit nicely since you can kind of have that same dynamic with Isolde from what I seen so far. (Holding her hand,comforting her)

By the way. Can we have just a little moment to scold our brother if he made us trip. I found that really mean. Mc could have really hurt themselves. It kind of made the brother look like a bit of a jerk. So if it isn’t what you wanted I think it would help if he showed a little remorse at least or got scold by the dad.

And last and most optional could we have a choice to simply tell the jarl we will do our best /all we can ? I didn’t want to promise the moon but I wouldn’t have outright tell him I can’t do it. Exactly cuz I feared that he would react like he did when you express doubt about your magical abilities. And since mc is aware he have a bit of a temper, it would make sense (especially the diplomatic one) that some would wish to play it cool and be extra cautious.

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Thank you! Isolde was originally going to be a very minor character, but ended up liking her a lot when I started writing her, so she’ll probably have a larger role than initially planned. :slight_smile:

Thank you for taking the time to give me your feedback. These are some great ideas, and I will absolutely consider them. It might take a bit to implement any changes since I’m focusing mostly on chapter three, but I hope to improve up on earlier chapters as well.

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In chapter one,I chose to input a custom name, but the ghillie calls me Tomas.

Also,when talking to alexis,I got this:

Tomas is your father’s name, but I suppose that isn’t obvious is it? I’ll make it clearer nect time I update.

4 Likes