@deusvult Yes, you are thinking too much into this, but that’s definitely understandable. I probably won’t change anything solely because I believe that the flashback got the point across. Your beloved is in a coma and the MC has to cope with that. (The game takes place wherever you want it to take place, but I will most likely instinctually add american laws and such to it because I am an American myself)
@AAO Good idea!
@aweepingdalek Haha! It’s funny how coincidences work…unless I was predicting the future! Maybe I’ll become a fortune teller when I finish the game. (If you ever plan on joining a reality TV show, make sure to let me know!)
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One of the best games I’ve read in a while! It’s a great story all around so far, looking forward to any future developments, and if you need any assistance with anything, I’d be one happy to help!
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I like being a hero first and then a villan some other time
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Hi PristineManiac4,
It is very entertaining and it is quite fast paced. I haven’t been able to get to everything yet but it’s very engaging. A couple of things that I’ve noticed are the following:
- The contestants bio were a little too much in one page. Maybe it could be split up as Villains and Heroes.
- Contestant Chuck has no description.
- Maybe hide Nathan’s reason and embed it in the story as it progresses?
- Also can’t help but notice that the Africans strengths are leaning to physical that may be somewhat stereotypical and maybe a unique angle could change that
- Creative use of the stats, looking forward to how it affects the story line
Will definitely read more as the story develops! Overall, good job!
Regards,
Antoinne Sommeil
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Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it! I agree with most of what you said, though Chuck’s bio and talent are meant to be blank for reasons currently unknown to readers.
As for the stereotype, I won’t change the characters because I feel that their description of skin color doesn’t change their athletic ability or personality. I feel that Julie is an athletic person, that’s just how she is. Jay is a troublemaker who has been in prison many times, giving him time to work out and become stronger. Many people of different races go to jail, Jay was just the lucky prisoner that was able to make it on Ten Million.
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AAO
66
I have a question.
If you’re supposedly friends (or at least somewhat acquainted) with Jay,then why is your relationship with him 10% at the beginning of the game?
Another tidbit:Why can’t we write our own bios?Yes,I know we won’t include that one tragic event of ours,but we should at least be able to write something about us in there.Who knows,maybe the way you write your bio can affect your stats i.e. you are naturally smart,your intelligence goes up.
I agree, especially when the reader does not know how their stats, such as creativity, is boosted. You could have preset options to choose from for backstory that somehow fit those stats.
@AAO Jay used to be your best friend, though there’s more in the past that the game hasn’t explored yet. You will probably understand what had happened in the next couple of updates.
@Uniqueth Responding to both of your suggestions, I can let you create your bio, but I never planned on letting the player pick their mental attributes. I wanted it to be different than skills and have it change based on how you treat other players, how you get through the challenge, etc. I will admit that the current way to get you attributes is random, I could change that.
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AAO
69
That is completely understandable.
However,I personally think that a bio will immerse us in the story even more,since we can flesh out our characters.
At the end of the day,it’s your story.So you do you.
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Zeus
70
When I was playing through it completely skipped the challenge scene and went straight to the end
Sorry about that, I’ll fix it right now
@Zeus I think I fixed it, let me know if there are any more problems!
@AAO Thanks for for accepting that, though I’ll still add the bio. (Just so you know, I really appreciate your suggestions! It helps the game a lot!)
okay either im an idiot or something weird is going on because i joined the villains and yet when i did the race i was against Brian when i pushed him out of the way it said i would lose fans because they didn’t like a hero doing villainous things… but i wasn’t a hero im a bloody villain???
also after the race and i go back to my bedroom it said that me and the other “hero” males could use our gym keys but i’m not a hero i’m a VILLAIN and i shouldn’t even have a gym key since my team didn’t win the hero team won ???
sorry i couldn’t screenshot it for you i’m not very good with computers
Sorry about that, I must have been careless when releasing this. Everything will (hopefully) be perfect next update.
