Wow, I must say this game is amazing. It has a good balance of infodumps and action, the plot doesn’t seem forced or dragged out, and the characters are different and interesting! All in all the writing is natural and pleasant. The suspense!
On the other note, the romances seem rather rushed, with no real build-up or development. Also, it would be good to have more choices on how to act around them for better immersion. While the blushing maiden could be an attractive look, I’d like to have the option to choose to be inexperienced/experienced, innocent/corrupt, naive/worldly. Sometimes the MC goes along with other characters’ nonsense far too easily. I understand why it’s done the way it is, though c:
I wish you good luck with the final stages! The game is, I reiterate, amazing
Typos (sorry, if they were already pointed out!):
Chapter 1:
There aren’t as many portruding rocks, and you have to stay incredibly focused to avoid slipping down. Fortunately, thanks to your well-defined physique, you manage to reach the next stable shelf.
Realizing you cannot do anything to ease the fall, you preper yourself for the impact.
You remember it being a bit tricky, but you also remember the way your mother taught you fow to keep your focus.
That weird, confusing energy you felt during the ritual must be connected to the diappearance.
…is an incredibly fast and unpredictible opponent.
There is an ancient hymn praising the raising (it’s rising) sun, which will probably suit the number of beats you’ve chosen.
…about what happened, but recieved no clear answer.
…convinved the old man to let go of his fear and anxiety.
While there’s (there’re) over ten huge bags, you believe you know which one of them should contain the more valuable items.
Unfortunately, because of your crime, your soul is unable to gain entry to the duat and gets destroyed by the devouerer.
The grammar is much different that what you’re used to.
The whole endevour is supposed to take less than twelve hours.
The thought makes (you?) smile. You know you won’t be there alone.
*He’s been imprisoned for thousands of years, with no one to talk to and nothing to do, and you’re supposed to feel sorry for yourself because you can’t be certain of you companions? *
*We do have a god that is repsonsible for the desert. *
You pick a few stable ones, your heart hopeful, but then your foot steps on one that breaks as soon as you touch it
Chapter 2:
Their heads are bold and their faces lack emotion.
She laughs out loud and rolls her eyes. "Ahh, you’re not very subtle, are you? Look. While I really appreciate the compliment, I don’t think it would be appreciate for me, for you… (I guess, appropriate?)
.…penetrating gaze and realize you’re cheeks are getting hot.
Chapter 3:
(Not sure it’s a mistake but in this it’s not clear that you are referring the archives to when you say “them”(bold))
Persenet nods knowingly. “You probably feel like you should check with the scribes about that text you are supposed to collect. I’m sorry to tell you this, but I don’t think you’ll be allowed inside. I don’t mean in general, because everyone can access the building, but it’s already quite late, and the scribes finish their work around four. The doors are closed right after.”
“Can you tell me a bit more about them?” you enquire.
“Of course! I mean… I can tell you, but you can simply go and check on that plan I’ve mentioned earlier.”
Chapter 5:
It would also give you an excuse to see him again, perhaps still a kiss or two. Well, unless he has other things in mind. He might want to focus all his energy on that ritual.
Chapter 6:
"We have to find the symbold of Ra. It’s not going to be anywhere near the front door. We need to keep moving forward."
