Temple of Endless Night (WIP) (Chapter 6 is COMPLETE!)

titlepage

I’ve been to dozens of temples in my life, and this one is unlike any of them. I don’t know why, but you should be careful. Never walk off alone and if you see something unusual, pretend you didn’t.

This is my first time working on an interactive novel, and I’m incredibly happy that I’ve finally gathered enough courage to actually start. Temple of Endless Night is set in a magical version of Ancient Egypt. A strange man stops you on the streets of your home town and sends you to an ancient temple that no one knows anything about. Will you uncover the mysteries of the temple, or will you die trying?

Major features:

  • Choose your gender (male, female, nonbinary).

  • Play as gay, straight, bisexual and asexual.

  • Romance one of four unique characters: a charming mercenary, a sensible and caring servant, a calculative High Priest, or a forgotten Pharaoh!

  • Choose your town, class and god. Work on your relationship with your patron!

  • React to situations differently based on your sanity level.

  • Experience many different endings, including bad ones.

  • Enjoy the beauty of Ancient Egypt.

The current version of the demo is about 138k words long (48k per playthrough).
The story will not be part of a series, and there are seven chapters planned. The updates will be as frequent as possible.

Feel free to leave comments with questions, ideas and any possible errors (including grammar and punctuation) or bugs you might have encountered.

Classes

Scholar, Priest, Alchemist, Soldier, Mercenary, Singer, Rogue, Spellsword.

Deities

Ra, Maat, Ptah, Horus, Bastet, Sekhmet, Hathor, Osiris, Seth, Thoth.

Death

You can die in this game. If you want to have a pleasant experience, simply be mindful of a few things.

  • You cannot die in the Prologue.
  • You can easily die in Chapter 1.
  • There’s only one decision that leads to death in Chapter 2.

Once you get to Chapter 3, you no longer need to fear death. Death is still possible, but… the game doesn’t end with your death. :slight_smile:

Temple

ROs

Myrine/Zephyros (male or female) - She/he is a mercenary from Hellada (Greece). Two paths: romance (can be ace) and friendship.
Menkaure (male) - Nope. Too many spoilers. Only one path: romance.
Persenet (female) - She is the most important servant at the Temple of Amun. Two paths: romance (can be ace) and friendship.
Apepi (male) - He is the High Priest of the Temple of Amun. Only one path: romance (can be ace).

Progress

Prologue - 100% done.
Chapter 1 - 100% done.
Chapter 2 - 100% done.
Chapter 3 - 100% done.
Chapter 4 - 100% done.
Chapter 5 - 100% done.
Chapter 6 - 100% done.
Chapter 7 - CLOSED BETA ONLY.
Epilogue - CLOSED BETA ONLY.

Changelog

14 July 2020

  • Fixed a few spelling errors.
  • Fixed a game breaking bug when praying to a female goddess.
  • Changed the spelling of Sakhmet to Sekhmet.
  • Implemented a functioning save system.
  • Added an option to go back to the list of gods.
  • Fixed an issue with the Stats Screen.
  • Added Bastet (deleted Amun).
  • Expanded the information about the gods (ca. 1200 words, excluding code).

15 July 2020

  • Added the first part of the Chronicle of the Kingdom of Egypt (ca. 500 words, excluding code). Important: This is not historical fiction. Many things have been changed due to supernatural events.
  • Changed “0” to “Untrained” when describing a lack of training in a social skill.
  • Fixed a few spelling errors.

16 July 2020

  • Added the first part of Chapter 1 (ca. 5800 words, excluding code).
  • Fixed a few spelling errors.

17 July 2020

  • Added the second part of Chapter 1 (ca. 2500 words, excluding code).
  • Added new names for all genders (1 per gender).
  • Added a few paragraphs (introduction of a new plotline) to the first part of Ch1.
  • Fixed the “while you are no mage” bug.
  • Fixed a few spelling errors.

18 July 2020

  • Added more purity changes (to already existing content).
  • Added one more thing the MC can do before they go to sleep (ca. 1000 words, excluding code). Just be careful, guys. Oh, and you should get a warning if your favor is high enough.
  • Fixed a few spelling errors.

19 July 2020

  • Added the third part of Chapter 1 (ca. 2000 words, excluding code). The second LI is introduced. I’m not sure if there’s gonna be an ace path for M. We’ll see.
  • Fixed a few spelling errors.

20 July 2020

  • Added two new classes: Alchemist, Singer.
  • Totally rebalanced the class system. Classes: Scholar, Priest, Alchemist, Mercenary, Soldier, Rogue, Singer, Spellsword.
  • Rebalanced social skills. Added a new choice in the prologue to pick one of them.
  • Deleted flirting. It’s no longer a skill, but flirting (obviously) stays in the game.
  • Added a unique reaction from the PoH when the MC is an Alchemist.
  • Renamed certain attributes.
  • Added agility as one of the attributes.
  • Rebalanced the gods. They now give attribute bonuses instead of social skills.

21 July 2020

  • Added a portion of the fourth part of Chapter 1 (ca. 1700 words, excluding code). I should be able to upload the full version of Chapter 1 in a couple days.
  • Added the second part of the Chronicle of the Kingdom of Egypt (ca. 250 words, excluding code).
  • Increased the amount of willpower needed to read the translation.
  • Reduced the amount of attribute points gained from picking the home town.
  • Fixed a few spelling errors.

23 July 2020

  • Added the fifth and final part of Chapter 1 (ca. 3300 words, excluding code).
    Chapter one is COMPLETE.
  • Fixed a few bugs related to the Spellsword class.
  • Fixed a few spelling errors.

27 July 2020

  • Added the first part of Chapter 2 (ca. 5000 words, excluding code). You can only check one of the three buildings! Each has a separate “story”.
  • Fixed a few spelling errors.

29 July 2020

  • Added the second part of Chapter 2 (ca. 4800 words, excluding code).
  • The second LI - Persenet - is now in the game, and you can choose what type of a relationship you’d like to have with her!
  • Fixed a few spelling errors.

30 July 2020

  • Added the possibility to refuse Menkaure.
  • Changed the dream scene with Menkaure (ca. 500 words, excluding code). He will leave a tattoo on your wrist. (It’ll let you speak to him from afar.)
  • Modified the Ankh Amulet. It can now automatically save you (once) from death.

3 August 2020

  • Added a line to the falling scene in Chapter 1.
  • Added the rest of Chapter 2 (ca. 8500 words, excluding code).
  • Fixed a few spelling errors.

4 August 2020

  • Changed the way the MC gets their bonus when choosing a patron deity. Names of the attributes are now written next to the name of the god, but the bonus is added after the MC confirms their choice. Therefore, you can no longer cheat by going back on your choice and accumulating lots of attribute points…
  • Fixed a few spelling errors in Chapter 2.

6 August 2020

  • Added the first part of Chapter 3 (ca. 4300 words, excluding code).
  • Changed the way the MC can accumulate relationship points with Z/M in Chapters 0-2. Your saves may no longer be compatible. I’m sorry about that.
  • Fixed some spelling errors.

7 August 2020

  • Fixed multiple bugs and errors (including wrong pronouns for Z/M in Ch 2).
  • Fixed many typos in Chapter 3.

8 August 2020

  • Added the second part of Chapter 3 (ca. 3400 words, excluding code). It’s not much. Mostly about Persenet.
  • Made it so that the game now checks if you ate the food in Chapter 2.

9 August 2020

  • Made it possible for the player to say that Z/M are not their type. You should now be able to access the friendship path.
  • Made the conversation with Persenet easier to understand (who says what).
  • Corrected some typos.

11 August 2020

  • Added the third part of Chapter 3 (ca. 4200 words, excluding code). It doesn’t add much to a single playthrough, but it adds replayability.
  • Alchemists, Scholars, Priests and Singers get a special choice (one per class). Singers get an extra “meeting” (conversation) with M.
  • Fixed some spelling errors.

16 August 2020

  • Added the last part of Chapter 3 (ca. 6700 words, excluding code). Chapter 3 is now complete.
  • Changed the name of the boy you meet in Ch 3 from Djedi to Dedi.
  • Fixed multiple spelling errors.

22 August 2020

  • Added the first part of Chapter 4 (ca. 7150 words, excluding code).
  • Slightly modified the ‘poison’ scene from Chapter 3.
  • Fixed a few spelling errors.

24 August 2020

  • Added Zephyros/Myrine’s path to Chapter 4 (ca. 3000 words, excluding code).

26 August 2020

  • Added Menkaure’s path (ca. 3100-3150 words, excluding code).
  • Made it impossible to pick Z/M’s path if they left the temple in Chapter 3.
  • Changed the number of save slots from 4 to 7.

27 August 2020

  • Added the rest of Day 3 (ca. 1050 words, excluding code).
  • Added the Amulet of Protection (from death) with its mechanics (ca. 200 words). (May need some testing!)
  • Made it so that choosing to kiss someone ends all other romances.
  • Fixed multiple spelling (and some pronoun) errors.

31 August 2020

  • Added the last part of Chapter 4 (ca. 6650 words, excluding code). Chapter 4 is complete!
  • Revised a couple of lines during the conversation with the Priestess of Hathor in the Prologue.
  • Fixed some spelling errors.

8 September 2020

  • Added the first part of Chapter 5 (ca. 8500 words, excluding code).
  • Fixed some spelling errors.

9 September 2020

  • Added another path - infiltration - to Chapter 5 (ca. 3000 words, excluding code).
  • Changed some commas in Chapters 0-5.

10 September 2020

  • Added another path - magic - to Chapter 5 (ca. 2650 words, excluding code).
  • Infiltration route - fixed a couple of bugs in code that could have put you in a loop.
  • Fixed a bug that made Z/M both agree and disagree to help you.
  • Fixed a very rare spellsword related bug in Chapter 4.
  • Fixed some typos in Chapter 5.

12 September 2020

  • Added Apepi’s path (ca. 2000 words, excluding code). Only two paths left!
  • Fixed some spelling errors.

14 September 2020

  • Added one more path - servant rebellion - (ca. 2150 words, excluding code).
  • Added a disclaimer at the beginning of the game.

17 September 2020

  • Added the rest of Chapter 5 (ca. 4600 words, excluding code). I really hope everything is sfw.
  • Slightly lowered a strength check in Chapter 1.
  • Fixed some typos.

26 September 2020

  • Changed a couple of sentences in the night scene with Z/M.
  • Fixed some pronoun issues in Chapter 5.
  • Fixed some typos.

4 October 2020

  • Added the beginning of Chapter 6 (ca. 5400 words, excluding code). The story ends when you pick one of the two doors.
  • Fixed some typos.

10 October 2020

  • Added another portion of Chapter 6 (ca. 1200 words, excluding code). You can now enter the left door.
  • Fixed a continuity issue in one of the scenes with Apepi.
  • Corrected many typos.
  • Made the game clearer. There should now be less missing spaces between paragraphs and, hopefully, there are no more redundant quotation marks.

14 October 2020

  • Added another portion of Chapter 6 (ca. 5000 words, excluding code). The main story moves forward. We’re sooo close to getting to the most important rooms in the inner sanctum (or to finding Apepi).
  • Fixed some typos.

19 October 2020

  • Added another portion of Chapter 6 (ca. 4250 words, excluding code).
  • Lowered some stat checks in Chapter 1 (for rogues).
  • Fixed many typos and a couple of sentence continuity issues.

20 October 2020

  • Fixed a coding issue that prevented some character interjections at the end of Chapter 6 from appearing.
  • Fixes some typos.

23 October 2020

  • Added the last part of Chapter 6 (ca. 2850 words, excluding code). You can now finish Apepi’s path. The OPEN BETA ends here!

Demo
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Patreon :gift:
Becoming a Patron gives you early access to the alpha build of my other project, Chronicles of Sekherion (high fantasy), posts about lore, short stories involving the main characters (there’s one about Menkaure!).
Pinterest for ToEN

Warning: The story includes elements of horror, and some people might find it a bit unsettling.

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
H. P. Lovecraft

If you like my writing, check out my other WIP - Chronicles of Sekherion!

293 Likes

The demo was really interesting! And the writing was great, I didn’t catch any spelling errors (tho I’m not the most observant when it comes to spelling mistakes). I can’t wait to see more!

3 Likes

Nice start! I like it, I don’t know much about ancient Egypt but it really seems like you do! You’re writing is really solid, and well paced, I only came across one typo:

After w while, Master Ahmose gets back on his camel and starts leading the caravan towards the mountain.

Hope to see more!

1 Like

@Pevril Thank you for reading the prologue and for your kind words!

@TheMorrigan Thanks so much for the correction! I study Egyptology so that’s probably why I might know more than most.

@YHGS Thank you for reading! Already made the corrections! :slight_smile:

@tangerine_skies Great idea! I’m going to add it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!

2 Likes

Looks promising! I like the fact you took your field of study and made it into a novel :slight_smile:

I did notice a few spelling mistakes:
“Thanks to your warm relationship with history it turned out that you did know more. After a bit of research you found out that about sever hundred years ago Egypt went through a very dark and unsettling period.”

He might be attractive, but I don’t feel anything. I prefer women." (extra " at the end)

It makes me feel warm inside, but his gender is irrelevant. I’m attracted to both men and women." (extra " at the end)

2 Likes

If you don’t mind, I would like to ask a question related to Egyptology.

In Egyptian mythology, did the gods mingle and talk to humans like in Greek mythology or were they more disconnected than their Greek counterparts?

3 Likes

Hi, I’m still playing, but so far, great job. As others have said, the writing is really evocative. I’d ask, though, if you wouldn’t mind, adding a description of the gods at your choice point, either in short blurbs in the choice text, # ra, the god of… or after the choice with the option to go back. Ra, the god of ___. His followers typically ___. Are you sure? #Yes, goto next section. #no, I’d like to rechoose. *goto god_choice

1 Like

Oh course, I don’t mind. However, the answer to that question isn’t very simple.

First, we need to understand that the only written examples of myths from ancient Egypt come from after the New Kingdom. Most of the myths were written in the Ptolemaic period when Greeks ruled over Egypt. We may assume that the existance of those myths was influenced by the Greek culture.

Egyptians did have certain stories involvig the gods that predate the Ptolemaic period by almost two millennia, but they weren’t exactly myths. There’s a story talking about the fall of the fourth dynasty (Cheops etc) and the begining of the fifth. In the story, there is a scene in which certain goddesses come to bless the three children of the High Priest of Ra who are supposed to take the throne.

The gods are definitely much less human than they are in Greece, but that’s because the only person that was really allowed to contact them was the Pharaoh. The priests were only his substitutes. It’s a rather complicated concept but the main rule was: “I do things for you so that you do things for me.”

They also seem less human because of all the syncretism that was happening. Hathor is Bastet, Sakhmet, Isis, Mut and many other goddesses. Ra had so many different forms that by the time of Ramessess II there was a text called Litany of Ra that was added to the Book of the Dead. The text lists about a hundred forms of Ra and unifies them with the deceased.

However, if you’re interested in Egyptian myths, there are many interesting texts from the Late and Ptolemaic periods. There’s a myth about Hathor/Sakhmet/Bastet (the eye of Ra) who leaves Ra and goes to Nubia (Sudan).

Obviously, there are also stories of creation, but they do not really mention humans.

@YHGS No problem. I love Egypt. It all started with religion, then it turned into things connected to reincarnation, and I ended up applying for university. I was in Cairo this last February. It was my first time in Egypt, and it was definitely an experience.

11 Likes

Wow, I did not expect such a detailed answer! Thank you.

How did you start studying Egyptology? Poland is a bit far from Egypt… :thinking:

1 Like

Hey! Very interesting concept there!
While I didn’t study Egyptology, I know a fair share of things about it. It’s nice to see a setting I’m very familiar with, but so rarely used in games like that!

I had a good time with it, though I’ve encountered a big bug, and well, I have various suggestions and other things I’d like to point out. It’s late here, so it’s a bit jumbled - I want to make the list before I go to bed. It’s mostly in the order the event occurs in-game, instead of categories like “errors”, “suggestions” and so on. Sorry for being messy!

  • I like your style, and the way you present the choices to the player. It’s quite unusual and I don’t know if it’ll be to the tastes of everyone, but I find it refreshing.

  • This is something I think is always useful in demos or WIPs - it would be nice to have a save feature for future updates. It makes it easier to explore various branches, when testing in progress games.

  • Wondering if it wouldn’t be better to spell Sakhmet as Sekhmet? I don’t mind one way or the other since both are correct, but I feel like Sekhmet is more widely used - at least among people with less extensive knowledge on the subject. Unless you favor that spelling for some reasons, which is a perfectly valid reason to leave it as it is!

  • I would have liked to be able to select Bastet though. Isn’t it a bit strange to be able to select one side of the coin and not the other? Bastet would be more fitting for the character I envision.

  • Overall, I strongly suggest more descriptions of the characters - as it is, I don’t envision them at all. You describe their clothing, but we don’t have much more past that. I understand the setting makes it impossible to make such a wide variety of physiques, but still, some things can be expanded upon.

  • I’m kind of conflicted about flirting with Zephyros. On one hand, I think it’s too early, or well, at least too early for such levels of proding from my character. On the other hand, it seems the MC has the subtlety of a brick, and that makes me laugh. I guess it’s part of the charm too.

  • By the sunset, I was offered the choice to say a prayer to my selected god (Sekhmet, if you didn’t guess by my earlier points), but I got an error when doing so:
    “prologue line 1189: It is illegal to fall in to an *else statement; you must *goto or *finish before the end of the indented block.”
    After that it crashed, and well, since it doesn’t allow to save, I’m forced to restart from the beginning.

I will probably wait until tomorrow before I redo this. Maybe I’ll wait for the bug to be corrected, I’ll see.
Still, so far, I like it a lot - it’s got a lot of potential!

2 Likes

Changelog
14 July 2020

  • Fixed a few spelling errors.
  • Fixed a game breaking bug when praying to a female goddess.
  • Changed the spelling of Sakhmet to Sekhmet.
  • Implemented a functioning save system.
  • Added an option to go back to the list of gods.
  • Fixed an issue with the Stats Screen.
3 Likes

Thank you for all the feedback!

First of all, I was able to recreate the bug you mentioned. As I mentioned in the Changelog post, it should be fixed now.

I’ve also already implemented the save system. Thank you for this suggestion.

I’m perfectly fine with changing the spelling of Sekhmet. I’ve already changed it in the updated version. Since it is impossible to recreate the exact epelling because of the lack of vowels, I do not have a preferance when it comes to that particular name.

I’m hesitant when it comes to adding more gods to choose from. I am not against it, but it’s a bit tricky. Bastet wasn’t very important until quite late in the Egyptian history, and, before the New Kingdom, she was mostly seen as an extension of Sekhmet. There are some texts that suggest that the two are actually the same being, and that they are simply two forms of… Hathor. Bastet being the tamed one and Sekhmet representing the avenging force of the Eye of Ra.

I could implement something like this, but that brings me to another issue. I’m still thinking about reducing the number of deities to make the ones that stay more unique. Currently, the praying scene is almost the same for all gods and goddesses. If I had like five or six of them, I could write seperate scenes, but writing them for about ten patron deities might end up being too much.

That being said, I am still considering adding Anubis.

I totally hear you when it comes to the characters. I will make some changes and add certain things, but I do need to be careful. Describing the physical appearance of the ancient Egyptians is a bit like opening Pandora’s box. Once the changes have been made, I will update the Changelog post.

It is definitely too early for flirting. I wanted to add a bit of romance to the prologue, but it does not mean the option is there to stay. We meet the second LI in Chapter 1, but romancing him will be a bit tricky (no spoilers). The other two LIs appear in Chapter 2. That’s why you’re definitely right that the prologue is a bit too early for flirting.

Once again, thank you so much for giving it a try! :relaxed:

4 Likes

This was a cool demo! Ancient Egypt is a subject that has always piqued my interest, so I’m very eager to see where you go with it as inspiration!

Here are a couple minor things I would suggest for edit!

  • for the choice that branches off into the soldier + mercenary occupations, I would suggest replacing “physical things” for “physical pursuits” or “physical activities”.

Had a little confusion as to what you meant at first, until I clicked the option myself and saw what was under there.

  • when returning to the game from the “Show Stats” page, the game redirected to the very beginning instead of back to the page I was reading.

Other than that, your project is really good!

1 Like

@violet Thank you so much for the feedback! I’ve already implemented the changes.

1 Like

Okay, now I could finish the demo! Thanks for squashing the pesky bug.
It was really exciting and well, I’m really curious as to what’s in store.
Also, either I didn’t notice that earlier or you only introduced that with the update, but I love the fact not only the MC has a sanity bar, but the love interests too. I already see how this may come into play later. Maaan that makes me hyped!

I know what you mean, about describing ancient egyptians. It’s complicated. But I was thinking of descriptions like the character being lithe or muscular, tall or short, having delicate or strong features… Even if you don’t want to delve on skin, eye or hair colors, other things can be described for people to have a better image of the character in their minds.

On the topic of the gods, yeah, I know about Bastet. But she still is a well known goddess. I usually consider Bastet and Sekhmet as one and the same, that’s why I was talking about two sides of a coin. But at the same time, since the two aspects are different, having the choice would be nice.
I also understand the desire to have less gods on the list though.

Ah, and it seems the save system doesn’t work yet. It appears, but says “Error: Bad Slot - Has smPlugin been included?” instead of the actual save slots.

1 Like

Small typo, the mercenary is supposed to be a male here.

1 Like

Love the WIP, really looking forward to more! As a counter opinion, I do not think the flirting is too early. It was extremely innocent and clumsy… adorable. Also, while the reader is new to the characters, the MC has been traveling with and watching Z for days so it feels perfectly fine. It’s not like you’re locking down an RO, just innocent flirting so I hope it stays.

5 Likes

Changelog
14 July 2020

  • Added Bastet (deleted Amun).
  • Expanded the information about the gods (ca. 1200 words, excluding code).
  • Fixed a few spelling errors.

@Diandra Thank you! It should be okay now.

@jbs Thank you so much for the feedback! You’re right, it is just innocent flirting. I’ll see what I end up doing with this scene once I have more of the actual romance written.

@Konoi Thank you! I’m pretty sure those sanity bars for the LIs may end up making some people rather sad… It’s important to the story, though.

I ended up adding Bastet. I’m still thinking about Anubis, but I can always add him in some later update.

I wasn’t able to recreate the save error, but I changed it up a bit. Hopefully, it works now.

I will add those physical details.

3 Likes

Yes - I’ve checked the game, and saves appear normally now

1 Like

Changelog
15 July 2020

  • Added the first part of the Chronicle of the Kingdom of Egypt (ca. 500 words, excluding code). Important: This is not historical fiction. Many things have been changed due to supernatural events.
  • Changed “0” to “Untrained” when describing a lack of training in a social skill.
  • Fixed a few spelling errors.

The next update will add the beginning of Chapter 1.

5 Likes