Techblade of the Mage (Overpowered magitek servant fantasy; WiP, 25K words, updated 24 September 2024)

Synopsis: It’s a game about being a high-tech magical golem serving a noble lady dealing with her accidental pansexual polyamory, while maybe finding love of your own.

Setting: Magitek world, also sometimes spelled as Magitech. Sufficiently analyzed magic is no different than science, and vice versa. This is a world where magic is so well understood it turns back to being science, tough there’s still some aspects of medieval stasis, such as feudalism. I’ve chosen this setting to be able to put in as much cool things as possible (jetpack velociraptor viking cavalry would be very hard to justify in a pure fantasy or pure science setting, for example).

Gameplay: This game uses a ‘traits’ system instead of ‘stats’, so it should be on the easier side, though ROs still use stats. I’m actually still deciding whether or not to add fail states. I think fail states tend to break the flow of a game (with some games as exception, of course!). I think it’d be more fun to give players more interesting ways to win. Like, do you want to punch a lord in the face or make twenty choices to drop a magical flying whale upon his extended family function? (still workshopping this idea.)

Characters:

Main characters:

  • Lady Zara Immershield: Your charge. Brash and impulsive, overly confident, yet earnest to a fault.
  • The golem: You. A domestic golem that for some reason, has enough firepower to bring down an entire divine pantheon.

Romantic interests (for your lady. WiP. Planned 1 male, 1 female, 1 other):

  • Titania Tutha (F): Your lady’s elven childhood friend.
  • Talenta Hazgat (NB): Eldest child of the Hazgat dukedom, foul mouthed and trigger happy.
  • ?

Romantic options (for you. WiP. Planned 1 male, 1 female, 1 other):

  • Satomi Fujiwara (F): A crow tengu ninja maid with a mysterious past.
  • Salome Vespucci (M/F fluid): The third and youngest of the imperial princes, a romantic with a dark secret.
  • ?

Progress: At the moment of this writing, about 25.000 words consisting of a prologue and three chapters. I’m planning to have the first few chapters to be rather short and linear, consisting of character creation and ROs introduction.

Feedback: Currently, besides general bug hunt, I’m also looking for spelling and grammar mistakes, alongside general flow awkwardness.

TRIGGER WARNING: Short but intense violence, general violence, mentions of sexual violence, violence.

Demo: https://dashingdon.com/go/17011

137 Likes

You had me at jetpack velociraptor.

23 Likes

will we be able to customize the Golem(us) in any way?

9 Likes

From my experience customization actually tends to feel limiting. I’d rather just imagined what my character looked like, so that’s where I’m planning to go with in this story.

11 Likes

Could we have our own poly or could we join our Lady’s poly?

10 Likes

This is good can’t wait for more

6 Likes

Oh, I am in love with this! Firstly, the world building is easy to follow, so the read is not intimidating from the get go.

First time hearing of Tengu and oh my?? Interest very much peaked! Currently, my favorite character so far is Satomi. She just look so cool in my head and I can’t wait for my MC to be besties with her lol. And I am SO HYPED that we can play as overpowered. Like, I’m already hooked with robot dinos, but man- to actually play with deadly elegance (that scene was SO SICK AND AWESOME) Yep, I’m in.

Short read, but I’m already intrigued so far! My only suggestion is to cut up the paragraphs with pagebreaks so it doesn’t feel daunting to scroll through a lot of them at once :> Keep going, this is a really great read! :smiley:

4 Likes

I didn’t encounter any bugs.

Traits are hard to suggest since I don’t really know what you’re planning for the future, but I think it could be cool for the game to consider how well we physically blend in with humans (I get the idea that golems in this game, or at least the MC, look mostly human) or how magical/intimidating we look. Another that could be cool is how deviant we are from our programming, though honestly I do think that would work better as a tracked stat rather than a static trait but you definitely could make it work as a static trait if you’re set on it.

As for RO’s, I’m not sure if you’re looking for narrative opportunities for them or archetypes and since it’s still pretty early in development, it’s hard to know what suggestions might work in your story but a couple I think could work are

  • a fellow golem
  • a golem creator/scientist
  • a rival or enemy of the family

Personality-wise, I personally am always down for an Ice King/Queen and/or an overprotective grump.

I hope that’s helpful feedback.

12 Likes

i will be waiting for the next chaper. this has me literally on the edge of my seat.

4 Likes

Interesting concept and I believe a solid execution along with a somewhat interesting characters. So far I like it, but I cannot judge more. Though I will admit I will be keeping my eye on this :smiling_face:

1 Like

I love how anticlimactic that fight we had was. Others didn’t even finish blinking and we settled it haha

5 Likes

The Mc is always going to listen to their lady right? Already feel bad for Ros as they won’t be the main person in mc’s life.Unless something happens in future that the ro can be number 1 person in MC’s life romancing anyone just feels wrong lol.Infact it would be better if the Story was about mc and the lady and their romance/friendship because She is MC’s number 1 priority anyways.

4 Likes

Make this an event you can achieve in the game please.

4 Likes

(sorry if this is a spoiler?) i’m wondering, as a golem does the mc has an arsenal or not?

Also can mc learn magic? Since he is a construct and it is pretty futuristic it can technically have some sort of mana core or circuits just like in fate?

3 Likes

I found it quite interesting

2 Likes

Interesting idea. Hadn’t planned for that, but maybe.

2 Likes

Tally Ho! Is one of the main inspiration of this story. We’ll see if I can balance it as well as in that story.

7 Likes

Not sure yet, but you have almost no internal storage, so no BRAAAAKA MONOGA, unfortunately.

It has to be something less conspicuous, like laser eyes or repulser blasts.

Learning magic should be easy enough, if the need comes.

You have nanobots, so maybe you’d be able to do shirou’s reinforce. No gate of Babylon tho.

4 Likes

I think full plate armour would suit a juggernaut golem more, but that is just me, I will say super cool idea this story I like it so far.

3 Likes

Sound might be a bit too noisy for indoor service.

1 Like