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Hosted Games Works In Progress
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Updated in March, 2018: Welllll, Talon City is back to being a game, and I’m sticking with it this time.

It’s different, and I’m okay with that. I actually love this story (I’m up to 15,000 words in regular form). It’s told from third-person POV, and you can guide the actions of three different characters in the story:

  • Rory, a barn owl attorney. She’s the protagonist and the majority of chapters will be told from her POV.

  • Concordia, the plucky hummingbird sidekick. I anticipate about 10-20% of the chapters will be told from her POV.

  • Ayvex, the main antagonist, a very scary falcon. I anticipate she will also get about 10-20% of the chapters told from her POV.

You can see by looking at the Stats Screen that I am focusing on plot, and characters achieving goals, and for that reason, there won’t be many “Stat Checks.” I want the story to be more about WHY you choose for a character to take a certain path as opposed to, “Oh, are Character X’s stats high enough to pass this check?” Basically, if you click a choice, the character WILL take that course of action.

There will be lots of added scenes that are accessible when certain characters take certain paths, especially in the middle build.

I am mostly looking for high-level feedback.

  • If you encounter a chapter ending that does NOT entice you to immediately read the next chapter, please let me know.

  • If you find Rory too unlikable at this early stage, say something and explain why. I want her to be a complicated character who could either be redeemed or choose a path of corruption and selfishness.

  • After reading the first four chapters, are you confused by what the Balancing is? Are you willing to wait a bit longer for a more robust explanation, or would you want more of an explanation? I do NOT want to “info dump,” but I also don’t want readers to be confused for too long.

(I’ll replace these questions with other questions as I chug along)

Here’s the link. It’s a quick 15-20 minute read at this point. Just a bit over 7,000 words.

https://dashingdon.com/play/ericmoser/talon-city-2018-version/mygame/index.php?cb=66688

TO COMMENT: GO DOWN PAST POST 80. COMMENTS PRIOR TO POST 80 INVOLVE A DIFFERENT VERSION OF THE STORY

*Update - Chapter 4 added 3/18/18

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I think I can manage the time for that. If you’d like me, let me know.

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Honestly, I think anything is worth pursuing if you enjoy writing it, (which I get the impression you do.) I think the premise is really interesting and unique and while most people seem to prefer COG and Hosted Games to be written in second person, I personally have a preference for fiction that’s written in first person. I think it gets the character’s thoughts and emotions across a lot better than first or second person can.

And I’d like to have a look at the demo and give some feedback. :blush:

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I’m very interested in reading and would love to be added to the private thread!

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Yep @Avery_Moore, this is my attempt to create a more defined MC that starts the game with his/her own opinions and worldview. Not a blank slate. Adopting first person POV seemed more intimate and appropriate for the story.

And thanks also to @hustlertwo and @HomingPidgeon! I promise it won’t take much of your time!

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This sounds interesting I’ll help with the beta testing if you’ll have me.

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I am interested in this. ps: does this mean you already finished with your other game?

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I’ve got no feedback other then this sounds awesome! :grin:
Please don’t judge me but I’m already seeing the MC as this owl.
https://d6u22qyv3ngwz.cloudfront.net/ad/AU8V/xyzal-allergy-24hr-big-news-small-2.jpg

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I’d love to help beta test

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@Logan3000x, nope I am not finished with CCH2. I’m still writing scenes! It keeps growing and growing.

@WishingforDragons, haha yes that’s close to what I have in my mind too! Only you can pick from 4 different owl types. Oh and the characters won’t wear clothes! At least I don’t think they will…that’s one issue I haven’t finalized. If Jungle Book is a 5 on the anthropomorphic scale, and Zootopia is a 9, then I’m aiming for about a 7. Sorta like in classic fables and fairy tales.

And thanks to @Classified, @Logan3000x, and @valentine_v_daygirl, that makes five testers. I’d love to get five more!

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I don’t have anything else to do this Sunday, so I’d be willing to help out. :wink:

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Well as a consumer of everything ace attorney I figure I know my way around a court room with the best of em, hehe but in all seriousness this sounds pretty great and would love to read what you have so far.

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@Dax12, that’s the spirt!

And @Kungfuboom, I’ve heard people mention Ace Attorney but I know nothing about it. I’ll be drawing on some of my own experience along with war stories I’ve heard over the years.

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As a fan of The Jungle Book, John Grisham, and Community College Hero, this sounds great!

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I got your back Eric if you need some more help :wink:

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The narrative sounds interesting and First person PoV would be very good if written perfectly (not that you would not have written perfectly it’s just for us mortals :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: )

In short I’m happy to give…
images (2)

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Heh yeah its kind of a niche game series just mentioned it because I love games that feature this kind of subject matter and seems like you have a unique take on it, so by all mean count me in ^^

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Well @Eric_Moser looks like you got the ten you wanted :smile:

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Plus 2 PMs = 12, so that’s perfect.

EDITED TO ADD: Everyone who volunteered, I’ll send you a PM, probably on Sunday, with the link. Please keep your feedback in the private thread. Thanks so much!

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Hey testers, the demo link was sent via PM! Thanks for your help!

EDITED TO ADD: After talking with you fine folks, I decided to make this a public thread.

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