Supernatural in New York (WIP) Announcement on post 1442

YES! I was missing this WIP! I really liked the new content, and I loved the interactions with the characters. I’m so happy right now.

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Caught:
grinning. “Did she (needed “he”) come to your door
A smirked appeared
“That was all.” You say, , in a nonchalant tone
finally, Grey.Take seats
faerie outside where we can capture it (him, maybe?) without
alone…I’m alone, too. - generally, put spaces after dots.
Fairies as for all kind of things
Cosmopolitan- she likes sweet beverages-, Cam’s - put spaces before.
《look. “What? I went to college, too.

” He drops》
of Grey’s….connections

“Thanks.” You can barely refrain your fangirl squeal, a mix of high notes and choking on air. - I would suggest changing that. My main motivation was asking Morningstar just for the fun of it, not fangirling over first fallen.

Interesting, all in all. I would love to see where it goes. Urban fantasy is one of my favourite genres.

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Great to see you’re back!

So now, about the game and I will start with an eventually weird request (well, depending how you look at it), could you add a non-alcoholic option when talking to Dominic if it’s not too much work? Like, I don’t know a Virgin Colada or something if it has to be a cocktail? Some people don’t enjoy/are uncomfortable with alcohol.

While I certainly enjoy Grey as a character all the focus on him…seems odd? I get that Dom, Meg and he knew each other even before the team, but why should my MC ask how they meet him and not for example about Cam?

Also a question considering the flirty dialoug options: Do we have to choose them to kick in the romance path or is it optional/depending on RO? (Btw interesting how we get the option for agressive flirting with everybody but can’t encourage Grey in his flirting, at lest during the exchange about “fantasies”…)

Are you planning to add a non-binary option for MC’s gender?

[details=Okay…about the sixth sense and all because the information from the text seems sometimes contradicting] How common is it and how exactly does it work? Are the people who have it just able to see through magic/charms and all or does it also ingrains a believe in the existence of the supernatural? Or does it come with other powers too? Is it heritable? And where from do those people get their info about the supernatural world? Are there people who have it but aren’t deeply involved into the supernatural or don’t even believe in it? How prevalent is the supernatural in that world really? And how many people without the sixth sense stumble into it? And even more importantly, how does MC know about all of it? How did the rest of the team end up so deeply involved in the supernatural and how much do their families know (especially Cameron’s family)?

Just a few weeks ago you were reading about some net of pixie kidnappers who sold them on the market- for their dust, or even as pets or twisted fetishes.

Where did MC read that? Secret magical internet forum, newspaper? …Do they have a subscription for the daily prophet?[/details]

Why does everybody in the team have blue eyes? :confused:

[details=About Cam]So Cam is pretty much a prodigy that could choose whatever education she wants, but rather “expiriments” for herself? Did she ever consider to do some courses to further educate herself, when she likes learning, or is she just so much of an autodidact that the differences would be minimal?
Did she ever consider that an university may has more money to spend for her expiriments as…well the team? Are there really no people with the sixth sense in academics that may shares her passion? Like no one? Not even one person? Not even at one of the smaller universities, not even in anotjet country? Has Cameron no connections to other scientists and if she has how did she build that connections? Who the hell is she talking to about her ideas to get feedback? I honestly would have an easier time to buy it if she did try and then did realise that the whole environment at an university wasn’t what she wanted/needed for her work or something… (I also don’t like that she seems to fullfill the cliché of the social clueless genius…it’s just such a boring stereotype. But that’s just my opinion.)[/details]

I also noticed that the stat choice doesn’t seem to work as it’s supposed to do. Both the choice to be a quick learner and being smart give points towards quick learning. Also when choosing the options smart-sniper-talker the stat screen isn’t showing any increase for persuasive, what is weird because it at least works when choosing smart-fast learner-talker.

So how far goes Dom’s “sister complex”? Do I get bonus points for the romance when choosing red hair and blue eyes? (I’m only joking. But his overprotectiveness is also a tad bit funny because the whole time Meg acts like the mom friend of the group, all encouraging and stuff…not sure if that’s just because she tries to antagonise Grey though.)

"I’d like to see if you’re truly worthy for us, and taking Greyson’s advice, we’re going to put you on a field mission.”

Woah, wait. When did he give Dom that advice? As far as I remember Grey interviewed MC and then Mel came in to tell MC about that field mission, and that did seem to suprise/annoy Grey. So when the hell did he gave Dom that advice. And why is he annoyed at Dom doing what he wants? Make up your mind Grey!

[details=typos and stuff]

Oh, no, I only came with the idea in New York, and asked him to join in.

Oh, no, I only came up with the idea in New York, and asked him to join in.

His dark eyebrows area arched in a quizzical expression, with a few strands of hair falling on his forehead.

(I also only now noticed how hilarious it is that Meg doesn’t want Grey to scare off the MC, but actually really is the one to give MC a reason to be truly intimidated by Grey with her being so vocal about it)

So looking gorgeous in some casual- yet smart and nice-looking enough- clothes, you have to get to your job interview, but it’s not the typical kind of interview- and you know suits, ties and office skirts aren’t what they’re looking for.

That’s a pretty long and a little bit difficult to read sentence tbh.

You feel your blood boiling, but you don’t know sure whether is because you’re angry, or scared by this guy.

You forgot “because hot jerks are my type” :wink:

Cam makes most of the devices we use in missions- microphones, weapons, djins- spirits- fae catchers and so on…

All those hyphens confuse me. (You generally use those pretty freely)

Cam makes most of the devices we use in missions: Microphones, weapons, djins-, spirits-, fae-catchers and so on… ← this is one possible way to make it easier to read, at least for people like me.

You mostly stood away from the supernatural black market - you now it can be a dangerous place, where supernatural creatures do crimes prohibited by their own kind.

Why don’t you just make this two sentences? Anyway that should be know.[/details]

(Also just btw, as far as I remember from university biology classes, they aren’t really that helpful when it comes to first aid/medicine and the like if they aren’t specifically aimed at the topic, but I’m just a little bit nitpicky here tbh and maybe it’s different in other countries, too.)

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edit the title of the thread for you :grin:

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Loving this game can’t wait for more

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Wall of text crits for over 9000! :stuck_out_tongue: I had to scroll even at 1440p :smiley:

…eh…ups? It’s all (most of it) relevant feedback though? :disappointed_relieved: (also some questions I wonder if nobody else asked them/is interested in them…I can probably organize it better?

Heh, I was just commenting on the length of what appeared to be a brain dump :stuck_out_tongue: I don’t often have to scroll to read people’s posts :smiley:

Eh organized some of it behind some read mores.

Any game that has Sarcasm as its own stat is game of the fucking year for me.

I’m sold.Can’t wait for future updates.

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The dropbox link’s not working TT^TT

@H2O @DemonArcher13 @Baam @Harley_Robin_Evans @AAO Thanks :kissing_closed_eyes:

@Doomspeak Thanks for the catches! I changed the reaction to the autograph- I still had the fangirl choice in my mind as I was writing it.

@Sammysam Thank you for the feedback! Now, to answer your questions.
I’ll add some non-alcoholic options, it’s not a weird request at all!

I was so intent on hinting at the siblings and Grey’s past that I completely overlooked Cam… my mistake, but I went and wrote some questions about Cam, too.

You don’t have to choose to flirt with a character to get their romance path, you need a high relationship with them, and flirting raises the stat slightly higher. Also, initially I wrote more flirty moments with Grey, but it was mostly Grey acting flirty towards the MC and I was afraid an MC uninteressed in him might feel uneasy so I cut them out, and I didn’t think of giving the MC a chance to encourage him, but I went and wrote some more flirty replies for him.

I have thought of adding a non-binary option for the MC’s gender, but I’m a bit uncertain how to go about it and I wouldn’t want to write it wrong…I’m considering adding one if someone could explain to me how exactly that would play out.

About the sixth sense
I know I’ve given vague details about the sixth sense so far, and I’ll add more information about it in the first chapter and also add a glossary explaining the sixth sense, how the supernatural society works and supernatural creatures, but until then, to clear confusion, I’ll post the explanation here.

The sixth sense means seeing the supernatural and magic other people can’t see, seeing through the illusions that supernaturals put to keep their society hidden from humans.
The supernatural society blends in with the human society, hidding in plain sight for those with the sixth sense. Sixth senser feel when magic is involved, can tell a supernatural creature when they see one and can handle magic better than ordinary humans, but couldn’t reach the level of a sorcerer. A sixth senser could summon entities or tame supernatural creatures if they have a powerful sixth sense and with practise.

The sixth sense can be weaker or stronger in some people. Many members of more generations could have it, or it could skip entire generations. The sixth sense could also indicate that somewhere along the bloodline, humans mixed with some supernatural creature, such as sorcerers, fair folk or demons.
Having the sixth sense doesn’t attract a person to the supernatural, or make them more likely to believe in it, only if you count seeing is believing. A child with the sixth sense in a family who doesn’t know about it could be taken as mentally ill if they say they can see things others can’t. There are more people with a weaker sixth sense than there are with a stronger one, and the MC and the team members have stronger sixth senses. Sometimes, the sixth sense could manifest as telepathy, telekinesis or clairvoyance.

The MC’s parents both have the sixth sense, which I will probably include earlier in the game to avoid confusion. About the other characters, I have already rewritten the conversation with Cam which will answer the question, but I can’t say anything about the other characters because it would be kind of spoilery, as their backgrounds will be gradually revealed.

Supernatural have both secret forums and newspapers, and the MC reads both, and I should mention that in the game. My bad. Btw, I liked the Harry Potter reference :wink:

Why does everybody in the team have blue eyes? That’s exactly the same question I asked myself when I reread the characters’ descriptions. Technically, Dom and Meg’s eyes are green-blue. :smirk:

About Cam
I was nervous about Cam’s conversation because I wasn’t that pleased with it myself, as I couldn’t really buy her reasons either…because her backstory was quite hazy in my mind, but with some help from Roxy, I managed to clear it out and I’ve rewritten the conversation with her.[/details]
I told Roxy about th stats, she’ll look over it. Writing is my thing, coding is hers. :slight_smile:
Thanks for catching those typos.

@Curious_Boy Thanks for the edit. :relaxed:

@Meringuebloops The game has been moved to dashingdon, you can find the link on post 99. Don’t cry :slight_smile:

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Was wondering if my editing was any help, considering the thread dropped off the radar afterward. lol

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Your editing was a great help, we didn’t correct all the mistaks yet, though.

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Was wondering if Demo was taken down or something. Was really looking forward to testing out.

Did you use the Dropbox link?

All of those have gone to shit now.If you want to play the game,check out the DashingDon link on post 99.

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Here is the link enjoy!

Small update Roxy updated the game with the changes I sent her- more options to flirt with Grey, a bit of Cam’s conversation has been rewritten and some mistakes corrected.

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Hi guys! :grinning: UPDATE

We’ve updated the game with part of chapter 3, and introduced one of the supernatural ROs, Evelyn. You can find the link to the game in the first post.

Could a mode please edit the thread name to match the update date? Thanks :blush:

Enjoy! :smile_cat:

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Great, I’ve missed this! It was a good update and Evelyn seems interesting but I was more psyched about flirting with Megan. That was fun. I really wanted to kick some dragon’s ass though.

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