I was expecting to dislike Grey when I started out (the grumpy ones usually make me hate them long before the “redeemable” part of their personality comes out, if that makes sense), but I’m pretty sure banter-flirting with him is my favorite part of the demo.
I do hope you put in a nonbinary option. It’s not too difficult to write in-- and it seems like game isn’t too persnickety about gender in the first place so simply adding “Hey there!” to the gender selection options and having the character referred to as they/them should work fine.
Also, the delivery of Cam’s backstory from Dom and Grey during your chilling session is a little clunky. I’d break up the paragraphs and tidy it a bit.
Some specifics:
Accepted should be something else (agreed or decided, I believe).
Dom’s description needs paragraph breaks. Also “house-hold” should be household (one word, no hyphen). For the sentence
You could get rid of both "and"s, and turn that into three sentences for easier reading.
It’s nitpicky, but if you watch out for it now, you won’t have to do so much weeding when you write the later chapters.
I had a lot of fun, though. Good luck with this one!
Thank you so much. I’m so glad you liked it! If you wanted to know anything about the mechanic I used I’d be happy to share Now I’m going to go check out your demo!! Sounds like totally my kind of story!
Hi, guys! Sorry for the late reply, I’ve been busy with school.
@bianca_065 Thanks!
@catorrina I’m glad you like Grey! It’s fun writing him. Roxy said she’ll add the nonbinary option as soon as she has the time.
Thanks for the catches! I’ll edit the text of Cam’s backstory too. Nitpicky is what I need- I tend to overlook many mistakes when I’m writing, and even when I’m rereading.
@ThomB I didn’t expect you to see my post I was so excited to see your reply. It’s really sweet of you, I think I’ll take you up on the offer. I hope you enjoy the game. It’s not so much of a detective story- some cases are mystery-solving, some creature-hunting- and as much as I may like mystery, I don’t know how good I am at writing it.
@Harley_Robin_Evans The MC won’t be able to sell their soul, though Lucifer would be glad to buy it.
Jason Dean from Heathers? I really enjoyed the movie (and have a crush on JD). Though I didn’t think of him when I came up with Grey, I do see the resemblance now you mention it
@Ragnock136 As @thatdodgymoggie said, the last major update was in 7th or 8th January and it was the rest of chapter 3; other minor updates were edits. We’re still working on the game; we’ve just been busy with mock exams.
@bianca_065 When I think of teenage Grey now I have JD in mind
Hey, I noticed something odd in the chapter where you face off against the dragon; well, basically in the part where you have to take out the charm to alert the others of your presence, I deliberately chose the wrong charm (just to see what happens). Well, after that I chose to try to tame the dragon. After that, it just skips the scene and doesn’t let me continue at all.
It was probably under 60… I didn’t check… Buy I did another play through (this time making sure my persuasion was over 60), and it didn’t give me any problems, so I think that’s what the problem was. Still, I am just curious to see what would happen. I mean, I know what would happen if my persuasion wasn’t high enough; I get injured. But now I kind of want to know what would happen if my persuasion wasn’t high enough AND I used the wrong charm.
Hi, guys! UPDATE We added part of chapter 4, a nonbinary option and edited the stats. Enjoy the game and please let us know if you encounter any error.
Also, the second supernatural RO, Morgan, has been introduced. Now all ROs have been introduced.
@VioletHikari Roxy said the scene should appear now.
If you wanted to know anything about the mechanic I used I’d be happy to share 
Now I’m going to go check out your demo!! Sounds like totally my kind of story!
Roxy said she’ll add the nonbinary option as soon as she has the time.
I was so excited to see your reply. It’s really sweet of you, I think I’ll take you up on the offer. I hope you enjoy the game. It’s not so much of a detective story- some cases are mystery-solving, some creature-hunting- and as much as I may like mystery, I don’t know how good I am at writing it.
Megan, Cameron and Evelyn are the female ROs, Dominic, Greyson and Morgan are the male ROs.
