Blargh, finally got some time to review this demo. Currently, it’s off to a great start! I remember when you posted your ideas to the interest thread and I’m currently hyped!
Here’s some typos, punctuation and word/flow changes I found/would recommend (bold means changes):
Typos
Disoriented and half-asleep, you blearily shake yourself awake and sit up, breathing heavily
Punctuation
Hordes of mindless undead stagger and shamble; dive and swoop; scrabble and gallop; and tear mercilessly into the living under their forms.
He did it… the madman did it.
Honestly? I was gaming, and before I knew it, I ended up pulling an all-nighter.
Therianthropes, or werebeasts, are afflicted with a magical disease - whether by choice, bloodline or infection - that connects them to a type of beast.
Personal Word Choice/Flow
The dim light bathes your room in a bluish tint, betraying the unearthly hour you’ve found yourself awake at.
Still squinting, eyes overtaken by sleep, you stagger your way to the window of your apartment.
A squadron of Enforcers fire blindly and frantically into the encroaching horde, and are swiftly dispersed by a skeletal chimera’s lunge.
You hear clacking footsteps, speedily edging towards you bit by bit.
It’s already 4 PM - Damn. You suppose this is the price you pay for sleeping late last night.
Also, quick question: So birdmen can change into other species? For example, if I choose a mammal therianthrope, I can also be a birdman as well?
Anyways, great start and I can’t wait to see more!
Update!
The actual story still has yet to begin… but the stats screen now has an abilities list and character creation is basically complete.
Chapter 2 will be coming Soon
Update, finally!
I’ve reconstructed the game entirely, added coverart by my talented godsend of a friend oldchalk, and overhauled gender and beast form selection in the process. I’m not quite up to where I left off last time, but I’ll hopefully get there soon.
Thanks! I initially didn’t have as many options as I would’ve liked but since I had to reconstruct the book anyway I decided I might as well go for it, and I’m glad it’s appreciated!
Vampires age a lot slower, yep. I haven’t really stopped to consider the magnitude of the effect, though; I’ll get back to you with specifics eventually.
EDIT: Also worth noting that this game and its potential sequels only span a few months each so that won’t exactly come into play for your character.