Hello friend! You have a nice rhythm going on with your story here! I especially like the introduction when you get to choose what type of entertainment do you do. Usually, stories just go with being an actor, while you have a stripper and rapper available.
While it is a great story, there are a few errors. I am not going to point out grammar/spelling, since I am sure majority of the constructive feedback already provided the details.
I really like the idea of letting us know which stats improved with our choices! The only advice I can say about this is to follow through with it in the story. Especially after the first fighting scenes when we had a bit of free time. During that time, I would suggest to put back the reminder of stats that we gained.
Royal is a male, yet he plays as a female here.
I actually giggled a bit here. I think this part was supposed to be whole white milk. I actually looked up if there was such a thing as whole wheat but was saddened when there was no such thing
Just Royal gender again.
While flirting with Poe, I would suggest adding another option of flirting but not getting that far with him. I was in for a little surprise when I found out what we did. Like, we could just get his number and the next day he could call and ask if we could go to the gym with him.
Like stated before, your story is extremely interesting! I was sucked in from the first page and was worried throughout the whole WIP during the fight scenes that I would lose. Which, I did. But who’s saying that I didn’t start all over?
I even laughed every time the narrator came through.
“Did you graduate highschool?”
Haha! Thanks for believing in me!