Strangers you wish you'd have gotten to know better


#21

Falling in “like” is easy. Falling in love can be tricky. Loving someone can be even trickier. Is it more that their was something about him in particular that you were attracted to, or was it that you liked the way he made you feel?

From my own experience at University, a long time ago: If I found that a woman I was talking to was disinterested, then of course I would drop the conversation. However, if she was “neutral at best” then I might interpret that to mean that she is being polite about her disinterest.

Again from my own experience: Living in this sociopolitical climate, it behooves a man (a good man, anyway) to not to be too persistent when speaking to a woman he’s just met, lest his actions be deemed inappropriate. If you find someone that catches your fancy, don’t be afraid to tell them. Just don’t forget to make sure they’re single before you let the conversation go forward. :wink:


#22

I never said anything about love, did I? I was only saying that he was special. A special stranger.

To your question: The latter. Mainly. I mean, I liked how easy-going he seemed, and he turned out to have some knowledge about mythology, which I always find attractive, romantic or otherwise. (Gods, this sentence has many commas - that’s what being German will do to you.) But overall I liked that we seemed to have some connection. That kind of “I’m curious, what would happen if I got to know them better?” feeling - with the kind of intensity which lets you know it’s rare and to be treasured. Goddess, not love. This thread was meant to be about special connections in general from the very start.


#23

I view the connection you’re describing as an unplanted seed, with all the potential to bloom.
Good soil. Water. Light.


#24

Definitely run into interesting people a fair amount. Currently not single so it doesn’t bother me much right now, but sometimes I’d agonize over what could have been.

There was this one lady I met at karaoke who was smart, charming, and generally pretty cool. Didn’t talk to her though and I never saw her again.


#25

No need to be sorry :slight_smile: . Well I don’t know about your case, but I’ve been like this for maybe ten years? Hard to say for definite, it was a gradual change, and I’ve had councelling, so don’t see things changing. Plus in the age of the internet it’s so much easier to learn about strangers, and to tell them about you, sharing more than you could in person. But yeah, I can kinda remember people not seeming like carbon copies, but that’s how my brain is wired right now and have accepted it the best I can. Plus due to my mental health issues, I struggle even with friends to get beyond things like “How are you?” “Nice weather we’re having” “been up to much, no not much you?” etc etc.


#26

Haha I’d do that if only I knew how to establish contact. I have nothing. There’s plenty of water and light over here, but I must have dropped the bag of soil in my rush to figure out which pot to choose.


#27

I do believe there are people who can be special in the short moments you come to know them. Very precious memories along our paths, no matter how brief.

Your story reminds me a lot of my own. In fact it has stirred up those memories again because I identify with it so much, I had to take a good long pause. It was but a mere blip on my life, but I do treasure the night all the same.

I was 18 and visiting my mother’s house in the tourist town she lives in for two weeks of the Summer. On my first day there, I stopped at this little market square to browse the shops - to set the scene, a charming little setup with vendor stalls under the shade of trees and flower trellises - and to take in the quaintness of the location. I was kind of listlessly walking when I, for no particular reason, looked up and made eye contact with a boy who seemed to be doing the same.

Now, I don’t particularly believe in love at first sight (maybe lust at most), or making more of things than they are, but I will tell you that in that moment it felt like I was struck with lightning and that I was seeing someone I had known for the longest time. If I had to choose a real-life fairytale moment from my life, if I had to describe it, that would be it.

We both kind of just…stopped walking and stared at one another for what seemed like forever. It was probably a few seconds at most, but time seemed to stand still until the moment was broken by more passerbys and we both, admittedly a bit awkwardly, carried on our way.

It it had been left at that, I might just recall a boy with maybe some of the most beautiful blue eyes I have seen. I have seen some gorgeous strangers in my life, not ever meaning a thing, and maybe that would have been it. But it was not so.

I ran into him the following two weeks around four or five completely chance encounters at various locations like a gas station and grocery store. I don’t know the odds of us being at the same places at the same times, and so many times on top of that in such a short period, but by the last meeting we were exchanging disbelieving smiles and teasing grins.

Then, near the end of the second week, I actually got the chance to talk to him. (I mean I could have before, but he made me way too nervous to approach) There is a lake that does movie nights on the water one a month - they have a huge projection screen and you rent floaties, and float out on the water and watch whatever film they choose (this one was Jaws) - and of course, he was there too.

He made his way over to me - I was much too nervous to do it first - and broke the ice by stating how I must be stalking him, but that he didn’t mind/kind of liked it. From there it was pretty much…over for me. I was hooked, I had wanted to talk for the longest time, and I sure as heck wasn’t going to pass on being the given the odd chances.

We talked forever on the beach before the movie began, decided to ‘float’ next to one another during the movie, in the far back away from the crowd, and didn’t catch one word of it all because we spent the whole duration discussing everything and nothing. I seriously have not had such an invigorating, witty, comfortable, engaging, fun, just wonderful conversation that ranges from the stars in the sky, our purpose and what we think of life, our life and what we wanted and what we feared, to the most mundane things about ourselves, the best way to eat cereal, and many other subjects I can’t quite recall. It was so…familiar? Like catching up with a friend you haven’t seen in ages, but also as if you had just been waiting to meet them.

We sat on the shore talking for a few more hours after the movie was over, before we both had to finally get back. (He was staying at a friend’s and was traveling from out of state, I was at my mom’s) Before we parted he wrote down his number on a piece of a flier we grabbed at the outdoor desk, as both of our phones were in our cars on account of the whole lake thing, and we almost-kissed. The kind where you stare at one another for just a bit too long, you both lean in just a fraction, and then as the moment stretches in you break into nervous grins? It was a perfect moment of those exist.

As soon as I got home I put the flier piece on the fridge - I wanted to wait at least until morning to text him, took a quick shower - and tried to fall asleep. I was so excited and replaying the conversation over and over again in my head that I probably got two hours worth in total haha.

But when I woke up, of course the first thing I did being to run to the kitchen, …the flier was gone. I full on tore apart the kitchen, the house, my car, the laundry, underneath the fridge, inside the fridge, moved the fridge, the trash, the lawn, every nook and cranny, and to no avail. My mother swears she did nothing with it, and no one else was in the house. To this day, two years later, it still has not been found and I am still at a loss at how it just up and vanished.

I never got his last name, for god knows what reason, or I probably would have scavenged the ends of the internet until I found him. I tried searching his first name and the places he had mentioned being from/going to, but to no avail. I went back to the beach a few times before I had to leave, but I did not have much longer and never ran into him again.

I still kick myself sometimes for not getting his last name, or adding him to my contacts the moment I got in my car, or ever finding out what happened to that damnable flier.

It sucks, but I appreciate the small memory and have since chalked it up to an amazing small encounter that adds to the ‘enjoy the small things in life.’ It will always be a little special to me, and I now know that someone so cool is out there enjoying his own adventures.

Like I said, I don’t like to make things into more than they are, as this was just a few short, though very odd, encounters and a wonderful conversation, but I also truly think there was something at least a little special about it all that I don’t think I will ever quite experience again. My own little magic, if you will~ (I’m still bitter tho)


#28

@KingMe I was so excited while reading your little tidbit of a story. Now I am just left feeling giddy and torn. I would be bitter too if I were you. That goddamn flier. I hope he doesn’t think you didn’t contact him on purpose, but remembers you with just as much fondness. I ship you both.

Also, you certainly do have a knack for storytelling (I love your writing style).


#29

@KingMe that was an amazing story (and you’re much more fortunate than me at least), i didn’t even get a chance to make a conversation with the one who give such odd feeling (not love at first sight, but some strange feeling like “i finally meet you again” even though he is a stranger i’ve never met)
so when i read your story i can’t helped but remember that feeling coz you just describe exactly what i felt that time (in my story above you). and that makes me feeling giddy and torn just like @AbbyMcGonagall. and i’ve gotta admit that you really have a knack for storytelling :grin:


#30

I’ve started and stopped this three times today. I even had a back up story about my long lost half brother who I’ve never met, but he’s not really the person I most wish I’d gotten to know better.

Let me start by saying I’m not proud of this story. I… can’t say it’s my biggest regret, but it makes the short list.

I started having sex when I was 12. I guess I thought it would make people like me, and I didn’t really have the confidence to say no. It kinda made me popular, in a way. Not in the have a lot of friends way. More in the I was always invited to the party, and given lots of drinks way. It also got me the tearful disappointment of my mother, and the scorn of my sister, and one of my brothers for having to be related to that girl. Oh and what I did one night in the back of a pickup truck with 5 guys from the soccer team got me a lovely nickname. Slurpee.

This story isn’t about any of them though. It’s about a girl. I met her at my sister’s birthday party. Her name was Lauren. She was two years older than me. I honestly can’t remember how it got started, but we started talking. The party was at our house, but I was specifically not invited, and completely not interested in attending so I was probably sneaking in to grab some food. It’s not important. What mattered was that we were talking.

At the time I had no interactions like that. The only people my age who ever exchanged friendly words with me were boys who wanted to have sex, and they really could not have cared less about what I had to say… except, “yes.” Lauren just talked to me. We left the party before cake. We walked all the way to the beach. We talked about stupid things, and serious things. We talked about sex. She’d never had it, and I thought I was an expert.

She told me sometimes she thought she liked girls. I said I felt the same way… and that’s where I screwed it all up. I didn’t like girls. (Not then anyway.) I just got all wrapped up in wanting this girl to like me that I wanted to be everything she liked. It was just another variation on what I had been doing with all the boys.

We didn’t kiss, or anything, but we held hands on the way home. My mom was pissed cause the party had been over for hours when we got home, but I was really used to her being mad at me.

When Lauren called the next day I knew what she wanted. Or I thought I did anyway. I never gave her the chance. I didn’t answer when she called, or texted, or emailed or even got my sister to ask what was up with me. I ignored her for the last month of school, and when I ran into her at a party on the beach that summer i called her a…hateful word for a lesbian and went and screwed some guy in the dunes. She stopped trying to talk to me after that.

I wish…idk I wish I’d had an ounce of maturity. She was never anything but kind to me, at a time when nobody else was, and I was so cruel in return.

Things got worse for me after that. Like I was on a mission to destroy myself. I did more things I’m not proud of, but this story is already long enough. I wish I had been better person. For one afternoon I had a friend. I wish I had gotten to know her better.


#31

Ahahahaha… :sweat_smile:

So, this is pretty much my life.
I get really strong platonic friendship crushes on people, fairly often at first sight too.
This person just seem super interesting, so of course they are waaayyy out of my league, and there is no way I can talk too them, ever. They are probably perfect, and wonderful, and funny, and cool, and amazing, and why would they ever want to have anything to do with me?
So, the more someone seems like a person I’d really like to be friends with, the lower the chance is that I will be ale to start a conversation with them.

Yes, I’m aware I have self-esteem issues.

It happens here in cyberspace too. Like I will see people on this forum write posts that are wellwritten, thoughtful, and I completely agree with, and they are automaticly stamped as being way better than me, and no matter how much I might want to, I couldn’t talk to them, as I’m obviously not worthy.
Or they will be people who are writing really great games, and sure, I can tell them that I enjoy their work, and I can give a bit of criticism, but that’s it.

Unless people make it clear that they are interested in talking with me, my standard assumption is that they’d be happier if I weren’t around. So I better try to be as little of a bother as possible… :neutral_face:

:wolf::fox_face::wolf::fox_face::wolf:

I have actually tried, twice, that I have gotten into a situation where I have to talk with people I have noticed over a long period, but didn’t feel like I could approach, and they open by telling me that they have noticed me, but thought I was too cool to approach, so I don’t think it’s an uncommon feeling to have…


#32

Also, I’m just leaving these here:


#33

@Camille622 Thanks for opening up and sharing this. I imagine that must have taken some courage, since I feel you’ve suffered a lot. We all do fucked-up things, we all have regrets. All of us most certainly have hurt people, just like all of us have been hurt. The only thing we can do is learn from that and try to be a better person. <3

It’s very, very, very common, I assure you. Most, if not all, people around you are insecure (about something, about themselves in general…).