i just finished reading the update and i couldn't stop thinking of that b99 meme so i made one in honor of valerie because i love her a lot 🥺
i found myself relating to valerie a lot, and so far she’s my favorite character. i was planning on romancing cortez, especially after he murdered regina on sight, but then that scene happened, so . suffice to say i’m looking for a second candidate lol (maybe merrow? he seems quite interesting ). i’m definitely excited to see how everything would play out, i wish you luck author!
So, this happened faster than I expected. But Spellbound now has an appendix in the stats screen! And it updates with the progression of the story, because apparently I just didn’t have enough variables yet! And it’s set up so the descriptions will change depending on which time period you’re in, because I can’t live unless everything I do is as complex and intricate as possible!! I hate my life!!!
Also, apparently my stats screen is, like, 8000 words long now. (No, I’m not going to include it when I list my total word count.)
Anyway, I ran this through Quicktest and did some quick manual surfs for bugs, but given the complexity of the system, I’m sure somebody somewhere will eventually have problems with it. Let me know!
For the purposes of not making everyone play through the game again, I’ve set it up so visiting the end-of-demo screen (the one with the “next time on” junk) will flip all the variables to give you just about the maximum amount of information available at this time (even if you didn’t actually obtain that information the way you were supposed to, e.g. by reading the book). I’ll probably keep it this way until I upload Chapter II-3 (the update after the next one).
With that all being said, I haven’t actually been working on the story itself, so, uhh, I guess I should probably start doing that at some point. Still tentatively thinking of a July update.
I’m glad you think so! I was actually a little worried it would be too on the nose, haha. But once I had the idea for the Ashes to Ashes achievement, I just knew I had to do it.
Obs: I did not mean to be that nitpicky, however, the number of details considered in the appendix kind of obliged me to. (So, it’s the author’s fault. I am not usually this weird, I promise).The very minor points are marked with an (m), in case you don’t want to consider them.
Valerie
Technically, in chapter_i-1, the info about Valerie is a spoiler
Maybe we could have an initial option *Go to past characters vs *Go to present characters vs *Return to stats, as it happens to locations/events and objects (I suppose this was the intention, but since the info about Valerie is displayed too early, it doesn’t happen until this page)
(m) For a while, Cortez is not mentioned in the appendix, not even in Companions, not even in Arcane Circle Operatives. He simply disappeared until he became a companion.
The knowledge about the marked sentence is just acquired in chapter_i-2. However, it’s displayed since chapter_i-1.
Plus, we have this sentence in chapter_i-1, which makes the disparity kind of evident:
Hooo boy. This WIP has officially lifted my from lurking, and boy am I glad. I recently finished (I think. Oh god was there another update?) And I adore the story so far! The humor, the writing, the characters, everything just seems to draw me in like quicksand and I know that eventually I’ll suffocate, but here I am. I have… a lot of opinions about these characters and the story. And I’ll try to organize it to be readable but I’m still figuring that out.
The Writing
Where do I start on the writing? It’s this mix of just descriptive enough to where it doesn’t get overwhelming, dry humor, and enough ‘none of us matter’ to really set the right mood for the beginning of the story. The internal monologue is a joy to read, as is the entirety of what we have so far. And, since I dont want to make an entire new point for this, @CorvusWitchcraft you are perhaps the most interactive author I’ve seen so far, though I’m not incredibly deep into the Choice of Games hole as others, and your humor makes it very obvious why Spellbound is written the way it is. I also enjoy that I cant trust anything you say, and everything is a lie, because that reminds me of the villainous ROs I love so much. Speaking of ROs…
The Characters
This section will contain mostly opinions, and probably a few spoilers. I don’t know. I haven’t written it yet. I’m starting with the characters from the past, just because I have the hardest opinions on them.
Callum
Ah, our little villainous mage. I enjoyed Callum at first. He seemed interesting, and I enjoyed his last lines before the fight, and I found the lovers option very interesting. But, my opnions shifted once we got to the flashback chapter, the first, if anyone from the future is reading this. Callum became irredeemably awful at this point. Not because of the hundreds, even thousands, he killed. But because he was in a relationship with Charlotte while also in one with the MC, though in secret. I thought it would be more… classic love triangle, but now I get to read about a cheater from the perspective of the one on the outside of the relationship. Cheaters are the worst kind of people, and that is truly what he should burn in hell for. To add insult to injury, he destroyed something of the MC’s, felt no remorse for it, even when the person he apparently loved was obviously hurt by it. I had assumed that Callum was different before the amulet, but it seems to not have changed him after all, removing a bit of the intrigue and interest for me. He’s an untrustworthy dick. But, I can handle that, since he’s not really a good guy. And maybe future chapters will show what actually made my MC fall in love with him in the first place. I just find him irritating.
Charlotte
Technically, Charlotte is who made me dislike Callum. But, I didnt like Charlotte herself from the start. She’s a two faced bitch. And, she’s basically perfect. That makes me feel real useless, and why doesn’t she just handle it by herself, if she can take on four soldiers at once? Why isn’t she the one doing all the heavy lifting, with all her training? Sure, she had a bad childhood, but that doesnt change that she insults and despises the MC for no good reason, shows a sweet, pretty face to Callum, and could probably beat up anyone in close combat. Sure, her archery needs work, but a lot fo characters don’t know how to use a bow and still are considered perfect. The flashbacks will be hell for me.
Valerie
Valerie may be annoying, but she’s not the kind of annoying that makes me want to claw my ears off. That kind of annoying is when I’m forced to adore the character and lay flowers at their feet as they wall by. She’s annoying in a little kid way. Cute, talkative, maybe not exactly smart, but fun to have around. And it is curbed by the MC being able to be incredibly annoyed by her. And the being forced together doesn’t seem totally contrived, but actually kinda makes sense in context of the character and the situation. I don’t want her to die anytime soon, but her occasionally shutting up is relaxing.
Cortez
Cortez isnt like most of the cold, hard to crack open ROs I’ve seen. He isn’t unresponsive and stoic. He has a bit of humor to him, and more personality than ‘hunk but block of ice’ that I’ve seen at least twice. I’m actually pretty excited, and I hope that my former-lover-Callum MC that’s romancing him can connect the dots and see that he’s just attracted to assholes.
And that’s all for characters. I would love to cover more, including the obvious secret RO, the exploding mural, but alas, I dont have as much radical opnions on them, or the ones I havent met yet.
The World
The world Spellbound takes place in is very interesting, made even more so by there being two, the past, more medieval fantasy, and the present, urban fantasy. It gives this nice split between what you’re experiencing, and how different the world the MC is from and the world the MC is in now really are. It’s a good split for a story like this. The only confusion on my part is how the Circle exists, how it keeps under the radar with full schools, and how exactly big it is (and if it’s a Dragon Age reference or just a coincidence)
Speaking of the Circle, it seems like they act like they’re better than the MC, with their magic using and resources and connections and structure… and they’re better than my poor MC. They seem like they could mostly handle this alone, but with the MC’s bomb radar thing, it makes sense why they need the MC, and in turn, Valerie.
And I think that’s it! Basically, I enjoy this game a lot, even if I dont like some of the little bits individually, and I say it’s a lot better than some things I’ve read.
Teeeechnically, Callum hasn’t fully taken that leap into what a lot of people would consider “truly” cheating…but you’re definitely right that he’s stringing the MC along, and arguably cheating in spirit, so that certainly doesn’t excuse what he’s doing! In the next flashback chapter, you’ll get the option to put your foot down and force him to actually make a choice between you and Charlotte.
That said, though:
I’m not gonna argue the point itself, but I’m gonna request that you (and anyone else reading this) not be quite so aggressive in expressing your (otherwise valid) opinions, if only for the sake of pre-emptively keeping the conversation civil and under control. Thanks in advance.
This is…fair. This was intentional to an extent (I wanted to remove the illusion that the talisman completely changed Callum and that he wasn’t himself at all at the end—it may or may not have had an effect, but he was always like this to some degree). But if it’s actively making him less interesting as a character I might have to tweak some things along the way We’ll see!
Charlotte
Weirdly, I’m actually sort of intrigued to see a less positive opinion on Charlotte! (Most people so far seem very willing to forgive her flaws—which is also totally valid, by the way! But not quite what I was expecting when I first wrote the character )
I will tell you that she is very much not perfect—but as with Cortez, her flaws are more internal than external. Obviously, she’s very talented and intelligent (that’s not going to change), but technical skills aren’t the only things that define a person’s competence or ability to function in certain contexts, and there’s a lot that Charlotte will struggle with as the game goes on. Of course, keep in mind that it’s eventually you, not her, that leads your army to near-success.
For what it’s worth, though, I actually don’t think she’s two-faced at all! Other than her mother (which is, obviously, a touchier subject), she’s actually very comfortable showing multiple sides of herself in front of most people—note that she feels no need to hide her nastier behavior toward you from Callum, or, for that matter, her affectionate behavior toward Callum from you. Unlike Callum, she’s not trying to fool anybody (except her mom)—she just genuinely doesn’t like you, and isn’t afraid to show it.
The “bitch” part is honestly fair, though.
She’s done a lot of fighting at that point, and by then, she’s on her last legs and winded enough that she can’t just handle it by herself. She actually does need your help at that point (or at least for you to serve as a distraction).
As for feeling useless, this was, I felt, necessary to communicate just how deeply the MC’s life was upended by the Ashbarrow Massacre. It’s a catalyst for many things, including the MC’s journey from an innocent civilian to a hardened warrior. As such, your skills, and your ability to meaningfully contribute, will increase as the flashbacks go on. Hopefully you won’t be feeling useless for too long!
Others
I’m glad you don’t find her unbearably annoying! I personally like Valerie, and I know a lot of other people do too, but I’m also very aware that she can be…a lot. So yeah, it was very important to me that I allow the MC to not necessarily love her immediately (or at all).
A few people have brought this up, actually, haha. I guess I’m gonna need to include an option at some point for the MC to realize that they have a type.
Oh no Did I make it too obvious that it was Landon?? I knew I shouldn’t have made him so friendly right off the bat!
Circle
They dedicate a lot of their magic to keeping their existence secret. A lot of illusion magic is involved. As Valerie mentions, “mind-wiping” gets employed sometimes (though, as you might have read in Chapter II-1, this method becomes unreliable the deeper things get ingrained in long-term memory, since Will magic is mostly limited to surface thoughts).
It’s still not perfect, obviously. A number of Mundane do learn about the Circle’s existence, and in these cases, the Circle is sometimes forced to negotiate with them to keep the secret. (And some, less honorable chapters of the organization might just…make the problem go away.) There have been a couple instances where the Circle came close to being unveiled, and chapters have been forced to completely relocate their bases and schools to avoid being discovered by people that could actually prove their existence.
Pretty big! They have chapters in most major countries across the globe. You’re not really gonna see any besides the Stillport chapter, though—unless there’s a potentially world-ending crisis, most chapters mind their own business and work independently from one another.
It actually is a coincidence, though it’s possible Dragon Age influenced me subconsciously…
Thanks again for leaving such detailed thoughts! Hopefully I managed to address enough of your concerns/questions.
Huh, I think Callum genuinely just being a dick is way more interesting than the old trope of “Oh no, poor pure of heart person is being corrupted by an object and is now completely blameless for their horrific actions.”
I love this story, but damn…save for Valérie, everyone else is an asshole . I though Callum was bad (But turn out he is an idiot), the worst? Cortez . Make you wanna tear his soul from his body, and eat it in front of him slowly…before you bind him to eternity to the girl bully, with a silent spell on him, so he never utter or scream his suffering
hey, his attitude and bullying to mah sweet cute Valérie, warrant that and more lol hurt mah girl, and I tear your world asunder lol The appeal of revenge, isn’t to serve it but how to serve it. You gotta know how to hurt your ennemy, before you strike .
. suffice to say i’m looking for a second candidate lol (maybe merrow? he seems quite interesting 
). i’m definitely excited to see how everything would play out, i wish you luck author! 
We’ll see!
Did I make it too obvious that it was Landon?? I knew I shouldn’t have made him so friendly right off the bat!
hurt mah girl, and I tear your world asunder lol The appeal of revenge, isn’t to serve it but how to serve it. You gotta know how to hurt your ennemy, before you strike . 
