Yeah there were a few different choices for other feelings (like “it’s not perfect…”/ “it’s not bad…” and “it’s terrible”/“it’s unsalvagable”) but only 1 for TODAY IS BETTER, duh! The one written seems like you are leaning toward that answer…I just think my MC would be hands down all about it. But if you want to erase my vote or whatever, feel free - it’s your poll!
Screw it, the votes were still in the single digits so I decided to just reset the whole thing with a new option per @Jender’s input.
PSA to anyone who had already voted: you will need to do so again to be statistically relevant, which I’m sure is what we’re all hoping for. This is your only warning.
3 Likes
I think MC in my case would probably feel like while science and technology have advanced in truly amazing and fascinating ways, the sense of wonder is soured by ways in which human behavior has still continued to take advantage of others who are less fortunate, which is why she became a rebel to begin with.
Which is a wordy way of saying I like to make angsty ruminating mc’s. 
5 Likes
It’s the same as the world he left. The powerful people live in luxury and almost never face the consequences of their actions. Despite how much the world has advanced technologically it is still morally bankrupt. The powers that be now obviously have to use different methods than the kings of old to convince people to go against their own interests but the basis remains the same and that is so deeply depressing to him. But he does think it can be changed if enough people are willing to actually do something about it.
1 Like
I have read the first two chapters as of now, and I am making this post, of which i will constantly update and provide feedback in.
Sections include:
- What are my thoughts on the chapter,
- A mid level feedback div in list format.
- And a high/low level feedback div in screenshot format.
Every time I edit this post, I’ll make a new post notifying and linking back to this.
I am following this technique for three reasons:
- To keep it all in one place,
- Not having time to read all the wip at once,
- And to add more feedback as more chapters are added in the future.
It takes long to read since I am reading through the code and every path, and that’s another reason for this feedback style.
On to the feedback now…
Everything else from here should be considered spoilers and be read at your own risk.
Chapter 1 (startup.txt)
The opening emerges you into this new world, where you’ve put your efforts into building and for those efforts to matter, you will need to win today. I almost immediately feel sucked in and mc’s previous efforts mattered to me.
Then the scene with Callum. We set a little backstory and get little bit of info on him. I think this is done nicely. Because again, it makes me want to hear, want to care; and while doing so, doesn’t bore me.
Then comes the mention of ‘The Tower’. It sets a mystery tone right away and I naturally want to learn more, but of course, that time doesn’t yet come in this chapter because… info dump alert!
Nice pacing through the war scene and we are left with a dangerous ward around our neck, given by our closest, and a seed of doubt. Thought of putting the book down when the chapter ends… “No.” comes the prefect cliffhanger; “Keep reading.”
Mid Level Feedback
I had one note which I magically didn’t actually take so this is empty, sorry for making you click 
Chapter 2 (prologue-2)
Starts with slowing the fast pace down, which i think again is good pacing. Also introduces a mentioned character, of whom our mc has history with. And he comes at the perfect time as to explain this backstory of mc and Dyren, and to let me understand how deeply he cares about me. And again, perfect timing since the doubt about Callum has started to shape and they were like enemies. So it almost wants you to pick a side.
Then the author offers a quality branching, and a quite long one for a prologue. Then I also saw some quality coding there @CorvusWitchcraft 
Both branches I can get, provide nice texture and moral dilemmas until Callum comes. I must say I loved how he killed Dyren in a heartbeat. Then we are forced to fight against our closest, who we trust more than anyone else, at least, trusted.
Then a dramatic ending, and a satisfactory one. Most suitable for a battle like this. It lets you breath fresh, and it signs to a new start.
Mid Level Feedback
Missing notes again, there was only one too. I like the idea of not having too many mid level feedbacks ^.^
Unlike the idea of making you click for the sake of format.
5 Likes
Thanks for the detailed feedback!
Some responses
The first few choices here are tightly formatted for the sake of establishing starting stats, so I’m pretty reticent to add new options. I personally feel that what you’re describing is sufficiently close to the second option.
I will consider it, but my personal feeling when writing this was that dragging the prologue out by describing ultimately irrelevant details would have made the pacing worse, not better. Also I feel like any attempts of mine to describe the battlefield would start to seriously peel away the illusion that I have any knowledge of battlefield tactics whatsoever.
I’ll give it another look, though.
He’s out of his league, because you’re a better fighter than him.
*hide_reuse makes it so options disappear when you revisit a *choice block, which ends up coming into play during the Dyren conversation.
The repetition of the word “shoot(s)” was intentional (I was going for a parallel structure), though if it sounds awkward then I guess I might have to rethink it.
The implication is supposed to be that Dyren has brought up the tower multiple times even before the events of the prologue, because he still hasn’t gotten over whatever happened there. I’ll see if I can find a way to make this more clear.
I’m not entirely sure I know what you mean by this. Spoils as in people accidentally reading the bottom of the page first?
I’m honestly pretty happy with the placement of that sentence; to my mind, it serves as a sort of capstone to the long narration of the struggle, so I probably wouldn’t change it without a really good reason.
The screenshots I didn’t directly acknowledge are the ones where I pretty much agree with your comments and will make the necessary fixes. Again, thanks for taking the time to do this!
4 Likes
Didn’t know it could be used globally, nice thing to learn.
Actually not too much now.
Yeah this was my concern but now that you say it, I agree that it is good structure.
I also wanna say that when I provide feedback and say this could be that, I don’t expect you to change anything, just trying to show from my (sometimes flawed and confused by reading code) perspective. So please don’t feel the need to respond to all, though I appreciate it if you find the time.
Happy writing 
2 Likes
I have no clue how to use this forum but I had to mention how much I love this story! It’s so well-written and engaging. I was hooked from the start, couldn’t put it down kind of hooked. And not only is your writing style lovely to read, your characters are so interesting. I am in love with everyone you’ve introduced so far, even our fine mustache friend in the museum.
And I am a dumb dumb who only read your opening post AFTER I finished the demo so I went in pretty much blind. When the betrayal happened, I was actually shocked because I thought it was too obvious for it to be Callum lmao. But god that final fight with him. Beautiful. The drama of a sword fight with your ex at sunset is just such good shit. And that conversation with Valerie was great. I like interacting with her as a character and I am so ready to be the annoying ghostly godparent she never wanted. Can’t wait to meet the rest of the cast!
5 Likes
Today is Friday the 13th.
Originally, I was hoping to update today, this being the culturally designated day of horror (even though my portrayal of ghosts is not especially horrific). Then depression and illness (not coronavirus, don’t worry) and a bunch of other real life garbage happened, and writing, subsequently, did not. So, today I have nothing for you, save for a reminder, once again, that the true horror is that profound feeling of emptiness when all your hopes are dashed, your efforts for naught, and the world moves on without you. Like always.
Which is honestly more on-brand for this story than a real update would have been, anyway, so I guess that worked out in the end. Funny, that.
In other news, it’s been about two weeks, so the poll is now closed, and I’d probably have more to say about that if I weren’t currently in the midst of a bout of that second-place option. I guess you’ll just have to make do without my profound statistical analysis this time around, which I’m sure you’re all terribly disappointed about.
Anyway, contrary to what I said before, I’m not really interested in artificially pumping activity out of this thread while the actual story languishes away, so I don’t have another poll for you either, and I probably won’t until after Chapter I is finally over. I don’t know if that will still be happening in March or not, but either way, I expect the next update to be pretty hefty in terms of length and content, so maybe, just maybe, it’ll all be worth it in the end. We can only hope.
Finally, just a reminder that if you’re interested in hearing me talk about Spellbound-related topics besides my total lack of progress (including a few sneak peeks of info I’ve not yet divulged in the thread), there exists a Discord where I say a bunch of cryptic and/or trivial nonsense, and a few people speculate wildly about what it all means while everyone else lurks silently in the background, judging me. Expansions to both categories of people are welcome!
TLDR: progress is in limbo, the future is uncertain, and life is pretty much universally terrible—which means everything is normal and as close to under control as it will ever be. Expect an update approximately somewhere in the next eternity.
30 Likes
@Jay_May one might say you were…spellbound.
crickets
I’ll show myself out
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April Fools, turns out I wasn’t planning on updating in March after all! This is definitely a joke I planned in advance, and not a last-minute attempt to justify my tardiness.
Now that you’ve all been thoroughly pranked, allow me to call your attention to the extremely legitimate update that is absolutely not an elaborate April Fools joke.
No, really, it’s not. I actually did update the story.
You believe me, right?
Of course you do. I’d never give you up, or let you down.
In other news, the very real and not at all phony update marks the end (finally) of Chapter I, including the triumphant introduction of Cortez (and more importantly, the not-so-triumphant introduction of Marcus). The chapter stands at 14 words per minute, which brings the total word count to 86 miles per hour. Your mileage may vary.
The next update will be the (first section of the) first flashback chapter, covering the MC’s childhood. That means more Callum (!!!), plus the long-awaited(?) introduction of Charlotte, AKA the secret RO!
It’s all very exciting, or at least, it would be, if it weren’t for the fact that everything I’ve just said is a lie.
51 Likes
Possibly the most confusing but at the same time best April Fools joke I’ve seen so far, thanks for the update! I’m really invested in seeing how this goes and i hope you can continue writing it while enjoying yourself untill the end. Cheers! ^^
8 Likes
This is really. Really. Good.
Like, even if I ignore the plot, which is awesome, I love how you write as well. And I especially love the portrayal of time and history and the futility of individual life and all that.
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Today is Easter.
According to the Christian faith, today marks the anniversary of the day that Jesus Christ, son of God, miraculously rose from the dead. This monumental event is one of the most well-known elements of the entire religion, and the basis upon which the holiday of Easter was born.
In modern times, of course, we celebrate instead the existence of the similarly-miraculous, but much less impressive, entity known as the Easter Bunny—an egg-laying hare, and secretly a malevolent trickster from the Otherworld.
It is said that the Easter Bunny comes to the land of mortals once a year to plant its parasitic eggs in the ground, doomed to rot away in the soil unless the children of man seek them out and destroy them, devouring their contents out of spite and contempt for this malicious creature. This dreadful game has been going on for centuries—so long, in fact, that the Easter Bunny has almost entirely supplanted Jesus as the public face of Easter, and is therefore, arguably, the more significant entity for at least one day in the calendar year. Somehow.
Holidays sure are weird!
In today’s update, we pay homage to both interpretations. It will, of course, be many chapters before the protagonist gains the opportunity to rise from the dead, as Jesus is said to have done—but today, through innovative use of flashbacks, we can achieve the next best thing, the facsimile of life, a second glimpse at your hero’s tragic past, and—like the resurrection of Jesus—a monumental event that will form the basis for everything that follows in Spellbound.
Meanwhile, we honor the Easter Bunny by giving you the opportunity to eat a dead rabbit.
So, today’s update really got away from me in terms of length. It clocks in at a truly ludicrous ~27,000 words—over twice as long as each individual part of the prologue, as well as Chapter I-1, all of which hover around 11,000—which brings the total word count up to ~97,000 words.
I chalk a lot of this up to the variability of Callum’s relationship with the MC, which has (like everything I’ve written) turned out to be a larger undertaking than I’d originally anticipated. In particular, the ~2.4 people who picked the rival path will have a lot of exclusive content in this update, since that particular origin almost completely changes the context and dynamic between Callum and the MC, as opposed to the other paths which are more similar to each other at this point.
There’s also the fact that I just ended up writing a lot more content than I had planned. But what else is new?
Next update will be the conclusion of this chapter, in which everyone dies (spoilers). I anticipate it being shorter than this one, though with me you should always take that with a grain of salt. I have no projected date for its release, but I churned this update out really fast compared to I-3, which means I’m either in a hot phase right now, or on the verge of tragic, crushing burnout. Stay tuned to find out which one!
60 Likes
PSA: It has come to my attention that some mishandling of certain variable checks (namely, forgetting that I capitalized the gender variable values, for the purposes of displaying them on the stats screen) has caused certain choices to not appear, which in turn has caused other significant variables to not get set correctly. The demo has been updated accordingly (I think), but obviously the fix will not affect people that have already completed the chapter.
For those whom it may concern: if you have a save from before this update, I recommend reloading it and playing through again. If you’ve already overwritten that save, I’m afraid you’ll either need to restart the game from the beginning, or accept that this will have adverse effects on your playthrough from this point forward, ranging from blank spaces where words should be to options being blocked or unblocked when they shouldn’t be. I recommend the former.
Sorry for any inconvenience this might cause!
29 Likes
This comment made me chuckle. I love when authors put little messages on their code.
The update is great, I loved getting to know MC’s past a little better. I have so many questions, especially about Callum.
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Thanks for the heads up, I was making some typo/bug fixes and apparently uploaded the wrong version of the startup file for a little while. It should be fixed now.
Incidentally, said version also included a few extra variables and achievements that haven’t been implemented yet, so if anybody looked at the code in that short interim, they might have found a few semi-spoilery signs of things to come, like the fact that Ferdinand is the secret RO.
Thank god it’s fixed now so secrets like that will stay safe!
Too bad he’s never going to answer them!
By the by, I am super curious how people are feeling about some of the new characters, particularly Charlotte and (to a lesser extent, since you haven’t gotten to know him as well) Cortez. Both are characters with strong personalities that I expect to elicit divided responses as people get to know them—in particular, I anticipate a lot of people that like Valerie will have issues with Cortez and vice versa.
I’m also very curious to see how people’s opinions of Charlotte compare to their opinions of Callum, since the two are so different but also so intertwined. Are there people that like both characters? Fans of one but not the other? I take it as a matter of course that there will be people who don’t like either, naturally, particularly since the rival path sort of facilitates this attitude.
11 Likes
How do you meet Charlotte?
She’s in the most recent update, which—unless something else has gone terribly wrong—should be playable now.