SoS: The Mortal Coil (WIP)

Huge LOL. Yeah, english failed me a bit. “Wipe the floor” was the expression I was after :stuck_out_tongue:

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I know what you meant, I was simply imagining Michael as a mop dog - perfect for wiping the floor. :wink:


I honestly thought it was just a trolling and all it was was a real mop…then it moved


Can’t resist…

“Come to the Dark Side!.. We have mops.”


Holy shit that’s an actual dog :joy:

Well, the results of the poll is in. Michael, Ramiel, and Iain are the top three, but I’ll also do an extra for Alice and the new female RO. (And a Lucifer extra).

Speaking of the new female RO, let me introduce you all to her.

Zaria is only half-human, on her father’s side. (I’m not telling you what her mother is yet–I have to leave some things for the game to reveal). Because of her heritage, she is incapable of hearing normal human vocal ranges, so for most intents and purposes she is deaf. She works as the Medical Examiner for Jericho City Police Department.

Zaria’s hair is a wavy cascade of mahogany that she usually wears pulled back in a bun. Her natural eye-color is violet, so she wears amber-colored contacts. She’s often hearing high-heeled boots that bump her height up to 6’ 2"/188cm (she’s actually 6’0"/183cm).

Because of her deafness, she typically won’t initiate conversations with unknown people or in large groups as she gets nervous about how she sounds. While she is fluent in ASL, she doesn’t usually use it because no one else in the precinct is fully fluent, though they have come to learn bits and pieces.

She tends to respond logically to situations first, always being careful to consider things before speaking. She dislikes being rushed or pressed for quick decisions, and isn’t shy about letting you know so. Questioning her knowledge is a good way to offend her. She’s reserved until she knows you, and then is prone to slipping in teasing remarks when visited in her home domain (that being her office and lab).

(And this is entirely the fault of the mop video… she always had a dog, but until now the breed wasn’t set.) She enjoys spending time outside with Rolo, her Komondor (aka large mop dog). She’s 29 at the start of the game, but looks almost a decade younger due to her mother’s heritage. Luckily her height stops most people from attempting to card her or question if she’s truly old enough to have obtained her Doctorate in Forensic Pathology.

Looking sharp and well-presented is important to her, and she is meticulous about the aesthetic feel of her office and home. Going to crime scenes can stress her out because of the potential for crowds and unexpected people; she likes being in control, and places with a lot of people tend to put her on the defensive and she shuts down. Going out in groups with friends that she knows is usually the way she counters for the lack of control in new environments, but in general she prefers to be a creature of habit.


The characters you’ve revealed so far are pretty tall (except for Hanael) feels like we should form a basketball team or something :sweat_smile:

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Every time you describe a character, I honestly fall in love with them immediately. I can already see myself replaying this game many times to see every characters interactions. Will Zaria be romancable by females?

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Damn, violet eyes? That must be quite beautiful. In my head canon she is clearly a redhead (copper colored hair, to be more precise). Red hair and violet eyes, no way around it :stuck_out_tongue:

@water.nixie, I know, right? Very interesting characters indeed.

@Dae-kalina your game is becoming one of my favorite WIP. High replaying value. I am not quite sure if the next question is against forum rules, I think not, but if it is I apologize beforehand. Do you have the slightest idea of how many words do you plan on writing to this particular game/book? Thanks.


She sounds similar to myself personality-wise (4th paragraph of description)…I like her already. :grin:

Can’t wait to meet more of your characters.

Most of the non-humans are pretty tall >.> Stephanie is only 5’2" though, and Karyn’s only a little above average height at 5’ 6"… Charleston is below average height of men at 5’ 9". I just picture most of the angels and Fallen using height as a way to awe/intimidate humans, so most of them are tall. Ryder’s actually kind of short, at 5’ 5" but he has lifts in his boots and sometimes uses illusion magic to make himself appear taller.

But yea… this is largely due to my personal biases and the average height of most of the people I hang out with (I am a 6’6"/~198cm female, and most of my friends are well above average height too…) So from my perspective, most of the characters are actually pretty short :wink:

I’m glad! Hopefully they live up to expectations when they are introduced in the game.

I forgot to actually mention Zaria’s sexuality :frowning: She’s pansexual, so 100% romanceable by females.

Amount of words is going to be a hell of a lot. Part of my goal is high replayability so there are a lot of branches, which means a lot of breadth in terms of story paired with depth. My current word count, excluding code, is 67,611. This is only in terms of what is publicly playable (I have a finished script for each scene) and does not include extras or scenes I am currently working on, nor the the fifty or so pages of notes. And in terms of story progression, we really haven’t gotten anywhere. The shell creation is the last introductory scene, and then we start going into plot and whatnot, starting with a flashback prior to Ramiel’s Fall.

The only canon redhead is Iain, but Zaria’s hair has gold and red highlights in the sun (base is a rich brown).

We’ve met most of the major protagonists, but there’s still a plethora of side/minor characters and antagonists to meet, such as Daniel’s friends.


You’re 6’6? In real life? Damn…

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That is good. Well, not so good for you :stuck_out_tongue:, but for the reader? great. I like big games, not only in “broadness” but also in “length” (words per play-through). But that is just me. Your game is turning out great no matter what.

Oh, don’t worry about my comment. I usually make some “head canon” changes to some characters. I also do it in regular books, so don’t take it as a critic to your excellent character creation skills.

By the way, is Lucifer stronger than the archangels? If so, why?

Nice model height there friend :wink:

I’m not the author so this is a pure guess but I think Lucifer is going to be much stronger than all the other archangels. Mainly because Lucifer is the archangel, he was an archangel while Gabriel was still a cherub. Besides, who doesn’t want Lucifer to beat Michael up for being mean to Gabriel?


Kinda the ultimate version of “my dad could beat up your dad” playground argument.


Does this have to do with that OTHER pack of fallen angels?

You know, the ones that gave birth to the Nephilim?

regains clarity after millenia of madness

If it does, I’m gonna be so proud.

Does anyone know what Ramiel looks like? I think I heard from somewhere that the fallen were ugly and misshapen (I could be wrong). So is Ramiel a shadow of his former angel self? or is he darkly handsome?


☆ WARNING!! RANT AHEAD ☆ Why? Why would you do something like that? I’m over here plotting different ways to take out Michael with each weapon available to me. Then you throw this new scene at me and now I’m all conflicted. Instead of just white hot anger when he pops up I get all these butterflies to go along with it… He’s worming his way into my heart with each play through and I am mad about it! How DARE you get me this invested? ☆ RANT OVER ☆ This WIP is my favorite. You really know how to tell a good story… I’m here for this!