SoS: The Mortal Coil (WIP--Update 07/15/2017)

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#547

Just read the Alice post it was great :grin:.Hope you’re feeling better :smile:


#548

This game shows so much potential. Came back to replay the demo and I completely forgot how beautifully written this game is and how satisfying the customization is (I basically tried to recreate the cool guy in my profile pic). Hopefully, there is enough combat to satisfy my hunger.


#549

Omg that Alice extra just makes my heart go doki-doki :heart_eyes: its so sweet!! Great job!
And i also realized something funny “But I warn you, I’m a terrible roommate. I leave the toilet seat up, I never roll up the toothpaste tube, I don’t take out the garbage—” You shut her up by kissing her and rolling her over, causing her to laugh as you lean over her, the starlight reflected in her eyes.

Since when does women leave the toilet seat up?! What monstrosity is this?! :joy:


#550

So reading Iro’s first interaction with Gabriel on your tumblr, I have to ask, is her mockery of Alice just general succubi teasing, or does she have a bone to pick with Alice?

Edit: I just replayed the demo again, and while I always love the pre-battle banter between Gabriel and Israfel, I absolutely lost it at the rapier-leading the charge banter. Israfel and his sass indeed.


#551

@avidreader
Feeling much better, thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.

@ArchangelVoldemort
There will be combat, but most of it won’t happen until the latter half of the story. Most of the flashbacks have the opportunity for combat at least.

@Vanessa_Pang
I’m glad you caught that! I was wondering if anyone would. Alice is being deliberately weird there, basically citing whatever she can think of from bad rom-coms (which includes leaving the toilet seat up which definitely does not apply to her :smile:) She’s not actually that terrible of a roommate, but she’s trying to be funny here. Humor is one of the way she deals with situations when she has difficulty processing them.

@silent15
Alice hates Iro and what she does, but she can’t exactly arrest her for being a succubus and manipulating people into signing their souls away. While Iro does like to mock in general, she and Alice have a bit of an unpleasant history. Not the least of which is that Alice may have hit on Iro before realizing what she is and what she does. It wouldn’t be the first time Alice has had to talk to Iro about an ongoing case.


On another note, I’ve posted Ramiel’s extra, but I have a few talking points/questions for y’all (especially if you read his extra).

I know one of the biggest things for CoG/Hosted Games content is the Apple store screening which needs pg-13 rating and all those lovely bullet points met (which makes me almost tempted to have censored/uncensored versions of scenes? I don’t know… >.>). I don’t think this extra really goes above that, but then again, I’m that person pulling up nude reference photos in the family living room for her latest art project going what? when people seem to question the public decency of said references.

Furthermore, I intentionally curbed this scene. I tend to write romance scenes a little more explicit in detail (or at least not concerning myself with wherever the scene goes), but I’m not sure if A. people would be comfortable with that and B if there is even any desire for more intense scenes (not aiming for an R rating here however–not that highly detailed). And at this point, I’ve entirely overthought what I’m even writing here so I’m just going to leave this as is and ask what people’s opinions are on the extras so far, in terms of the comfort level with the intimate scenes.


#552

Lol I thought some women did I don’t know :joy
Woops was thinking of the toilet lid rather than sit disregard this post :sweat_smile:


#553

The scenes for me so far are fine (although Apple might think differently)


#554

I agree with @avidreader however it would be for the best If already published cog authors or maybe @FairyGodfeather could say what they think. :blush: (@FairyGodfeather i am suggesting you, and i hope you dont mind :kissing_closed_eyes:)


#555

Asking choice of games directly might be a better idea. I’m not sure.

@RETowers is really the better one to answer this.


#556

PG13 is a weird way to frame it. Because you can definitely have explicit violence, right? And that’s not PG13.

What Apple asks about its “is there graphic sexuality” meaning, “are there pictures of boobs?” Then, separately, “is there sexuality or nudity?” to which we often say “yes.” But that’s very different from graphic representations.

In the context of written material, I think that you could get relatively explicit, as long as you weren’t saying, “and his erection stood at full mast before he plunged it into her…” eg what do you see in a romance novel as opposed to what’s on literotica.com.

As a barometer, take a look at the sex scenes in Deathless and NOLA. You could probably take it several steps past those and still be ok.


#557

@Dae-kalina Sounds good! Your writing is great, so much so that at times I find myself intentionally reading slow. This is good, because I found a few typos! A game as good as this has to be perfect:

Shouldn’t it be, “readying the Grace?”

Oh, and another:

“Focusing on what your auditory sense.” That makes zero sense to me. Shouldn’t it just be, “focusing on your auditory sense?”

Oh, and may I just say how much I love the world you’ve created? It is just too epic, so much so as TLoTR’s universe. Absolutely incredible. I can’t decide between being undyingly loyal to God, or slaying Lucifer myself in order to take over Hell. It’s all just too awesome. To me, so far, it’s almost unbelievable how well thought out and revealed everything is.

Here’s my endgame stats. I shall patiently wait for more excellent content:


#558

I don’t know about apple, but I wouldn’t mind more explicit scenes. You just write how you want to write because from what I can tell what you want to write is amazing.


#559

I pretty much agree with everyone else. I’m comfortable with the scenes now, but I certainly would not be bothered by more explicit ones. On another hand, I adored Ramiel’s extra. He’s taking Michael’s place in my heart.


#560

I just need to agree on the adored part i felt the same :heart_eyes: But Michael is still stuck as number one for now in my blood pumping heart (I think he might be glued that is) :imp:


#561

@jasonstevanhill
Thanks for the input! I appreciate it (and that’s definitely not the level that this game would approach). And I concur, PG13 was a poor way to describe it. Should have just stuck with ESRB ratings instead of attempting to transpose it to a different medium. (This game would be firmly ensconced in M).


And now I’m done with that subject, and onto more actual content stuff.

@ArchangelVoldemort
Thanks so much for the catches! They’ll all be corrected with the next update.

@Helsinki
Ramiel is pleased to know that he may have a possibility of converting Michaelites. Michaelists?

@GloriaRose
Oh dear, be careful with that glue. Michael cautions that feathers and glue do not make for fun times.


Iain’s extras are up. (There’s two versions, ones that show a little more of how Iain approaches a male vs female Gabriel. In essence, he’s a little more formal/awkward with a male and less so with a female, but at a certain point it wouldn’t be too different based on gender). One more extra and hopefully an update will be up soon.


#562

This is my first time posting in this thread, but after the Iain extra, I couldn’t lurk anymore.

So, I’ll start off by saying I love this WIP. I love it so much, I made my brother play it, and he made his boyfriend play it, and now we’re all obsessed. I have to be honest, angels and the like, don’t really interest me. I was unsure about playing as Gabriel, but I love the way you write the character. From what I’ve seen in this thread, you’re going to take this story to amazing places and I can’t wait to read it.

Out of all the v-day extras, Iain’s was my favorite. It was so much more human than Ramiel’s or Michael’s (for obvious reasons), and while that doesn’t really matter much to me, I thought it was worth noting. He’s just so adorable! I can’t wait to see more of him. That said, I still think Michael’s romance is going to be my favorite, based off of everything I’ve seen of him.

Also, Alice’s extra was really, really sweet. I can’t wait to see more of the female ROs.


#563

Haha thats True :joy: [quote=“Dae-kalina, post:561, topic:15298”]
One more extra and hopefully an update will be up soon.
[/quote]
This comment made my Day :heart_eyes:


#564

And he knows this from personal experience?


#565

Thank you now I’m just picturing one of Ramiel’s or Gabe’s pranks going horribly wrong and Michael finding himself glued or the Angel equivalence of glue to something. XD


#566

Oh, @Dae-kalina, you really know how to make me swoon over Iain. His hesitance yet willingness to try with a male Gabriel is really touching. I can’t wait to see how you handle him in-game. :heart: