SoS: The Mortal Coil (WIP)

This is awesome, one of my favorite stories that I’ve read. Great work Daekalina.

i found this error (flashback01_faeTrouble line 730: invalid indent, expected 5, was 4)

@Dae-kalina I am glad to see this game has been updated. I really like the game so far and I am as always looking forward to more.

I know Michael was popular in the Valentine’s RO poll , but my MC can’t stand how he treats the MC regardless of his motives nor how Michael treats the boy. So my MC would prefer to settle things with Michael permanently. I think there needs to be more room for choices when confronting Michael if the MC eavesdrops at the GAO. Michael threatened the boy for the second time in addition to the usual refusing to stop being so controlling with the MC. My MC is not interested in pushing Michael’s buttons, but would prefer to manifest an Angel Blade and tell Michael that if he came anywhere near the child again or gave the MC any further reason to think Michael might harm the child then the MC would kill Michael on the spot.

I don’t consider Ramiel a viable RO for my MC for several reasons. My MC would find his practical jokes annoying and going to Earth just to have a weapon placed at the MC’s throat when Ramiel should have known what welcome awaited the MC would infuriate my MC. Lastly even if my MC had feelings for Ramiel, that Ramiel went out of his way to show my MC what he showed would have broken my MC’s heart.

Regarding which RO my MC would prefer to romance, the verbal descriptions of the character relationships really say it all.

Michael sees no value in your input or thoughts. He views you as a rogue element in need of damage control.

This is yet another reason why my MC is tired of tolerating Michael.

Israfel would follow you into Hell if you asked, and even if you didn’t. You are his closest sibling and he will always be by your side.

Israfel was not listed as one of the ROs but I hope Israfel is one. I think even my MC might love Israfel even if those feelings are never returned and Israfel is never a potential RO.

I noticed some typos.

“They hate an audience,” she informs you. Israfel was lurking by the door, face anxious. “Both of you wait outside. I’ll summon you when it’s done. It won’t be long.” She steers both of your forcibly out, almost slamming the door on you.

It should be you.

When you get to the Council foyer, your escort halts. The Watcher who had come to get your personally walked up to the left of the door before rounding to face you.

It should be you.

Another option for the title would be Spawn of Satan which is ambiguous as to both number and gender.


The second boy should be “day”, maybe?


OMG I loved catching this!!

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WHAT?! That angel has been a little bit more than human!!! That ending though.

somehow I feel like some Arhcangel will find out and drop a massive Grace bomb in the village killing everyone and Ramiel will say that it was our fault that his daughter is dead.

Wow, thank you all for the warm welcome back!.

Made some fixes (the typos pointed out by @Norilinde and @FutbolDude21586), the error with line 730 in the flashback that occurred when you were a male Gabriel looking at the female statue (hopefully…) and the error with having Sabriel selecting the sex of the human shell.

@Crow @Alder
Thanks! Glad to be back. It’s not dead, I won’t let it, but it may be very, very, very slow.

@Quaintrelle
:smile: They do say a picture is worth a 1000 words, and those definitely say something.

I’m hoping you meant line 730 as there were no issues with spacing in line 720, and I was unable to recreate any errors in that scene apart from the one on line 730. If issues persist, please let me know again.

I try to reply on tumblr every once in a while, but it’s a balancing act. The more time I spend on tumblr replying to messages, the less time I spend working on the story.

Thanks for the catch! Should be fixed.

@Auser
I believe I fixed the cause of that error (by chance, were you playing a male/female Gabriel who asked Sabriel to select their gender, and upon clicking “That’s fine.” received that error?) The Ramiel one should also be fixed now.

@varroth
Thanks!

@Norilinde
First of all, thanks for the typo catches and all the feedback!

It’s an option in the future, and I’ve tweaked the scene a little so with the right combination you can make a more permanent threat, but I’m not sure about putting that kind of response as a choice in this point of the game. It is one thing to fight unarmed with each other, but threatening Michael with your Angel Blade would be grounds for being cast out of Heaven. Angel Blades are capable of killing an angel, and using them against another angel is a crime which will get you cast out. Also, unless Gabriel wanted to completely exhaust themself, trying to manifest their Angel Blade in the heavily warded building that is the GAO HQ would not be possible. The pain associated with breaking the wards would render it nearly impossible to then use their Angel Blade.

But hopefully the rework fits a little better with your Gabriel (though it assumes, for your particular vein, that you barge in on them, select that he should have left already, are more stoic than emotional, and more ruthless than merciful… so maybe not?)

As for Ramiel as a RO, he is a character who has made some poor decisions in his life (hence why he is Fallen). The fae scene is meant to be a little heart-breaking for a Gabriel who fancies him, and for the others, more of a ‘are you crazy?’ kind of scene.

Israfel is not an RO. You will have the option to confess to him, but he will reject your feelings (and it may damage your relationship).

It’s probably a personal bias against spawn for a title word, as I have negative connotations for that words, while I see both scions and son having a neutral connotation that then contrasts nicely with the ‘of Satan’ part. I appreciate the suggestion though!

@FutbolDude21586
Nice catch, and fixed! (boy, day… they look remarkably similar when tired >.>)

And Sabriel is a complete Star Wards nerd. And Alien. She has a soft spot for science-fiction.

[quote=“Phoenix_Wolf, post:595, topic:15298”]
That angel has been a little bit more than human!!! That ending though.
[/quote] Yes, Ramiel has been up to things he should not have been.
The current end for that route is not the actual end to the scene, but since it’s not finished, I thought it would be a good place to leave off for now.

@Logan3000x
That error should be fixed. As for the last bit

Ramiel will not blame you for whatever may happen. However, one of Gabriel’s jobs as an archangel is destroying nephilim…

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…Nice

but that scene happens later on, right?

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That cliffhanger! Cue a very emotional Gabe having to sit down or at worst faint dramatically I love the new update, all the other paths are so interesting! =D Also a lot of fun.

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i feel like a happy uncle with that ending…

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I’m glad you’re back and that there has been an update. It certainly made my day to see more of the story unfold. :slightly_smiling_face:

It’s always regretful when a good story goes unfinished.

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OMG Ramiel whyyyy?!! That ending though haha. Really good. Can’t wait for the rest :wink:

I just noticed something though. Does Gabriel have pointy ears? It was mentioned with Daniel’s I think.

I have had read a book wherein the angels come down to protect we humans from the giantatic demons. Uriel/Ariel was a transwoman. Michael was all about the Law.

I think the angels were supposed to be like superheroes.

Who are all the other RO’s the others keep mentioning? Have I been reading something else?

For some reason the game link I click on isn’t updated :worried:

An update! I’m :heartpulse: ________________ :heartpulse: I love Ramiel already, lmfao. It’s interesting tht it was mentioned tht the Fae don’t do friendships, which in turn would say smth abt the sincerity of any romantic attachment one might form with them, but Ramiel is seemingly O.K with this? I guess we’re not familiar with the nature of Ramiel’s relationship with the mother yet, but it just struck me as strange.

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I have been quietly playing this game and lurking here for a while now but now I just can’t. This new update and that cliffhanger (both with what’s going on with Gabriel and their new vessel, as well as the flashback with Ramiel) has me so hype for what’s going to happen next. I was literally like ‘That’s not it? That can’t be it!’ at the end.I cannot wait to see how that situation plays itself out and just how deep a hole Gabriel can dig for themselves by getting involved with it. And my Gabriel will be getting involved without a doubt. The folks upstairs won’t be all that happy more than likely.

And DANIEL. He’s so adorable. The scene you get if you choose to snoop around the guardian headquarters with him, Israfel, and the guardian angel is one of my favorites. He is almost the entire reason I am so ready for Gabriel to earth because I’m very ready to have more scenes with him building a relationship with Gabriel. And more Gabriel being befuddled by other human things on top of having to raise a young child, lol. Ramiel was a surprise to me, he’s so playful and charismatic as to what I was expecting based on some of the preview scenes of him post-Fall on your Tumblr. I was expecting him to be intense and angsty, like a Michael 2.0… but pre-fall Ramiel has the potential to charm the robes off of Gabriel and post-Fall Ramiel too now that I have a soft spot for him.

In short this entire project makes me really happy and I’m really pleased to see it and you have returned because I’m so invested in the story. Thank you so much for the update!

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Just a thought, someone probably already said it. Is it any way that Lucifer gave that order? Cause in the beginning it said something about “God” Being dead and haven’t talked to anyone in awhile. Don’t mind me, just something I been thinking about.

It’s definitely possible seeing how Lucifer got really close and personal with Gabby at the beginning.

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