SoS: The Mortal Coil (WIP--Small Update 04/05/2018)

nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice
modern-fantasy
adult-fiction

#1

Welcome to Son of Satan: The Mortal Coil.
First of all–this game is MATURE It does contain mature content, though there is an option in the stats menu (Toggle mature content filter) that will show options marked #Fade to black that will skip over optional mature content,

Stat balancing is not currently a priority (as in the author may have not actually assigned all the stats she wants to at this point/is still tweaking the system).

Please let me know if you catch anything that seems awkward or out of place to you.

The Game:

Overview

Archangels were designated to serve the whims of their God. As Gabriel, you wield power and influence in Heaven. Yet your God, silent for centuries, has given you an order, one unlike any other you have received. You are to raise a satanspawn on earth, living in secret as a mortal. play as the archangel, Gabriel. Your cover is that of a junior detective with the Major Crimes division of JCPD. It’s supposed to be a straightforward protection detail.

But things rarely go according to plan.

Will you stay loyal to Heaven and their rules or will you play it fast and loose? Will you try to seize the throne of Hell for yourself or find your place on Earth? Will the satanspawn prove to be beyond saving or will you raise him to be a beacon of hope?

Work with the various supernatural factions in one of the few cities that is neutral in the war between Heaven and Hell. Fall in love, solve a few cases, and discover if your past will define your future.

The Story So Far

Gabriel is an archangel of God. They have a specific set of skills and their own Angel Blade, which they are now to use to protect a chosen child, who also happens to be a Satanspawn. After creating a mortal shell to possess, Gabriel passes out, falling into a memory of the events surrounding former archangel Ramiel’s Fall.

Questions are welcome, but 1:I may answer with spoilers
if you really desire (more so about characters than plot points) and 2: I may not want to say anything conclusive/I may change my mind about this point so I have no definite answer yet.

Also head over to here for more (spoilery) goodies and the opportunity to ask the author or characters questions.


Demo Links:
Try the demo here.


Version History:

03/17/2018

Total word count now 160K+

General Update/Bug fixes:

  • Act 1, scene 1 has been revamped. It’s not a huge overhaul, but I feel that it flows better. Now you can meet Athiel.
  • All scenes up to the flashback have had their first editing pass (by me, so there are likely still typos to be found).
  • A few entries have been added to the glossary. If you are unsure what something means, check the glossary. If it’s not in there, pester me.
  • Added stat changes to all scenes up to the first flashback
  • Renamed some stats, added others
  • Added another option to the Michael confrontation in scene 3.

Story updates and requested feedback:

  • As always, if you encounter a grammatical error or bug, please post in the forum with a screenshot. It’s much appreciated!
  • 3/5 of the paths through the fae flashback have been added. If you skip this flashback entirely, then you won’t notice anything changing. The alternate path for skipping has not been implemented.
  • The fae flashback scene is over 50k words, over half the length of the rest of the scenes combined. Lot of branches to explore.
  • Are there any other pressing questions folks want to ask Leochlan? Submit them here or on tumblr and they may get added to his question menu.
  • If there are any areas where you feel more responses/other responses than what are there would be appropriate, please let me know. I make no promises about changing anything, but odds are favorable that I will.
  • Anything else you feel like commenting on!
Pre 2018
7/15/2017
  • Finished the fourth scene entirely (two new branches, shell creation)
  • Added a teaser/the start of the first flashback (~10k)
  • Total word count of playable words now over 100k
1/27/2017
  • Added the ability to toggle showing stat changes after options
  • Added one path of the next scene (~10k)
11/28/2016
  • Added the third scene (~14k words, total words now about ~58k)
  • Added verbal descriptions to relationship statuses
10/13/2016
  • First 37,000+ words and first two scenes are complete (no missing paths, third scene disabled)
  • Number of save slots increased to 7
  • Miscellaneous grammar/continuity errors fixed
  • Toggle effects (fade) from the stats screen

**The next update**

Finishing the first flashback. This thing is massive. Multiple smaller updates will take place before the entire flashback is finished. Priority is finishing Laniwynn’s individual path and then the alternate prelude path where you dance with both of the twins.

Also on-going is the rest of the trial scene and the path for skipping the fae village entirely. Plus the usual bug-fixes and other tweaks.

**At some point**

At some point: Meet and potentially ally with a faction of gods (Roman, Greek, Norse, or Egyptian). Deal with an angel falling from heaven. Train some nephilim. Meet a medium who knows what you are. Play muse to Leonardo da Vinci. Battle in the arenas of ancient Rome as a gladiator on assignment with Israfel. Solve some murders. Chew out some demons. Argue with Michael. Argue with Michael again. Maybe a third time. Deal with the politics of heaven–or ignore them. Learn how to cook so you don’t starve as a human.
Thanks for taking a look at the game.


FAQ:

Does my Gabriel have to be called Gabriel?

No. This is how the other angels will address you unless otherwise corrected, however. When you create your human shell you will get to select your own appearance (hair, eyes, skin, height), gender and name.

Are there romances?

Yes. Many. Like… I’m not telling you how many. HOWEVER. Characters have sexual orientations and with a few exceptions are not flexible. I.E. the female werecat who prefers women will not be physically attracted to a Gabriel in a male body. If your angel gender is different from your human body’s gender this may impact the romance. There are bi-characters, straight, and gay. There is also one asexual character (atm). Based on feedback I may expand upon RO, but more than likely by adding more characters rather than altering pre-existing ones.

Is Lucifer/Daniel/Israfel a RO?

No. And I won’t say why other than spoilers. (Though if you really want to find out, I can almost guarantee you’ll figure out why by reading through this thread).

Stats???

First of all, please take a look at what descriptions I have in the stat screen. Try to have specific questions rather than general in these regards (because these are sort of in a flux state so the more specific question you have, the better answer I can give). Secondly: as previously mentioned, this is a very small portion of the game. There are some opportunities for stats and relationship increases with Lucifer, but stats are not a primary focus in the prologue. The prologue and the first couple sections will outline your character so choices like weapons and wings are important to defining your Gabriel and do have stat changes but they don’t lock you into a certain playstyle (however, playing a character that is at odds with their chosen weapon will be harder).

Information on the revealed romances.

Male ROs: General descriptions. Ryder specifically.
Female ROs: General descriptions. Zaria specifically.


My top WIPs as of right now
Background Color Change?
#2

Hi! So I played the demo and I’m pretty fascinated by the premise.

I like the detail that you have given regarding our angel form. The only thing I am confused about is why we were fighting, but then again that could just be a detail that I missed. Regardless, good job so far! I’ll definitely keep my eye on this. :slight_smile:


#3

Found the story to be very interesting and would be interested to see where it goes. There were a lot of stats of which I barely touched on the majority, are they all going to be used throughout the game? Its a shame to have so many options when my choices don’t seem to effect a lot of them.

Also you have the black background effects and slow forming words quite often. Sometimes its worth doing a version without them so you can quickcheck and randomcheck easier. Personally I prefer playing the version without them but other people like them so I wouldn’t worry about my opinion on that :slightly_smiling:


#4

I really enjoyed the demo so far. Three thoughts on what is written as feedback:

  1. At one point you describe the pain my angelic soul is going through … are angels meant to have souls? Are you different because you are fused with human? If so, maybe that lil piece of info could be clarified. It just goes against my knowledge base and created pause - no biggy.

  2. The intro page might want to be revamped. It seemed a bit too heavy.

  3. The fade pages where text is white on black and is fading in… that can be hard for some people; depending on devise used. It is neat but it could cause frustration to some. (I’ve seen others criticized for this.)

I know you said the stats are a wip within the WiP … some will be distracted by this. It is why I am doing my stats later. I like the choices on wings and weapon and my scouting. I did not get to chose my human hair, eyes, etc. For some reason I thought I was going to, that and name.

Continue the great work. The concept, the storyverse, the continuity and the content are all first rate so far. You have me hooked wanting more :smile_cat:

I hope this work gets completed.


#5

@Leliah Thanks for the feedback. I’m assuming your confusion is about the initial battle and not the one the demo ends at. What I was trying to establish here was two things: 1: You are a fairly low ranking soldier. Talented, but not one of the need to know people. You are essentially a pawn at this point. 2: The gods war with each other for power. At this point humanity does not exist so the wars are essentially the only way to increase power. (Dead gods provide power). I’ll take a look to see where I can try to clarify this point.

@Maxmansung @Zolataya Thanks for pointing out the potential irritation with the fading. The only place I plan to use it was in the prologue and I was hoping the minimal use would not be too bothersome. I will create a demo that does not utilize these effects for those who prefer not to have then at all.

  1. Yea, it probably can be. I blame the heaviness on being related to too many lawyers. I’m thinking of eliminating it entirely and just having a credits page at the end.

  2. Angels and souls. This delves into my own personal take on angels that I use for this story. Angels are souls, more or less. They are energy that manifests physically but without having a true physical form. They have to learn how to manifest their forms, but as an angel it is fluid to a degree. What is coming in two updates is the selection of a human vessel. This is a physical form created from magic, essentially an empty shell that an angel inhabits when working long term on earth. It allows them to seem mortal by hiding their essence. What has happened to Gabriel in the beginning, and this will be made clear later, is that they have used their powers to a degree that they have fused their angel selves (soul) to their mortal shell. Mortal shells are not made for handling heavenly powers, i.e. using large amounts of Grace. Normally an angel and their shell are separate things but Gabriel managed to fuse their very being/soul to their mortal shell. This has not happened before and speculation is that it may make Gabriel mortal. Normally angels who “die” reform over a long period of time in heaven unless their souls have been consumed but Gabriel is now stuck in a mortal body.

Lastly, stats. I have these grouped into 3 subcategories. Statistics are going to influence how you fight. These are the stats that have the least impact at the moment as your character is not actively fighting till after the apocalypse. This will come into play though if you try to use your Grace for mundane tasks or even situations like not giving up on an investigation or competently giving directions to your partner.
Traits are more or less your personality. Certain characters are drawn to personality types and this will largely influence how Daniel develops, how characters react to you, and your general behavior. This will have a boosting effect on certain rolls as well–a merciful Gabriel will need less skill with Empathy to heal, for example. Lastly there are skills. These are 0 to 5 grading scale. Currently these effect combat but you can learn skills throughout the game like cooking or firearms. I am working on the in game explanations so please let me know if you have specific questions about what I have written on the Stat screen.


#6

First and foremost, great work and a demo that leaves you craving for more!

I like how you present your take on things in the narrative and since it is based in religion, you pull it off very well without poking fun at religion while keeping in form to the story your are about tell (you spin on things? XD), without stepping on any toes is no small feat.

As for the fading bit, I find it well done and done correctly for dramatic purposes, this is a first for me, so again kudos! You as an author have very few tricks you can use (besides the story itself to pull a reader in), and when done in the right manner and done sparingly, it can add to the depth of the story.

All in all a great start to CYOA game, and I am eagerly awaiting more!


#7

The premise sounds cool. Love the idea that we can end up corrupted ourselves, not just failing to save the Son of Satan.


#8

I really like this demo so far, and looking forward to see more. :smiley:

I have a couple of questions.

  • It seems like the story will jump in time periods (maybe as flashbacks), is that correct?
  • From what I understood then the MC’s mortal form have wings, will we get some way to conceal them magically or something (or outright removed)? Since I doubt six-winged people are the norm on Earth, in your game.
  • How old is Daniel and what will he be, some kind of human/demon/angel mix?
  • Is it the norm that archangels (or angels in general) or more on the stoic/not emoting like humans side?

#9

@Dae-kalina This is truly intruging and I really like it so far! However i would like to ask If Lucifer is a RO and If so gay, bi or straith?

My main MC Gabriel is:

Basic Character Information:
Angelic Gender: Male
Manifested Weapon: Rapier
Wing Color: Silver
Agility: 28%

Character Traits:
Merciful: 50%Ruthless: 50%
Persuasion: 60%Intimidation: 40%
Subtle: 50%Blunt: 50%
Emotional: 45%Stoic: 55%
Candid: 55%Deceptive: 45%
Improvise: 55%Strategize: 45%

Also i love The silver wings :laughing:


#10

This Reminds me a bit about Playing as Genie in Israel under david. That game was awesome even if unfinished. Can i betatest this pretty please ? i can write resume i even betatested few games for choice of games.

Also you might Want to rename either Might or Strenght it seemed to me as someone for whom english isnt first language as same stat. atleast until i spend a while looking at it. This might be disorienting.


#11

@Ventura First, thanks for playing the demo.
Great questions!

Yes, the story has jumps in time, at least until the half-way point. The first half of the story spans 13 years in the present, but there are multiple flashbacks. Currently there are five major flashbacks, not counting the prologue. These include meeting a faction of gods in their heyday (choose 1 of 4), working as the Wrath of God, the fall of one of your siblings/nephilim, working as a muse for Leonardo da Vinci, and a mission in Rome with Israfel where you pass as a gladiator. The second half of the story will proceed in a strictly linear fashion though there may be some plane hopping madness that has the potential to mess with the timeline…

I’m going to go ahead and assume that you’re getting this from the very first scene. Upon initially taking a mortal shell your wings are not visible unless you want them to be as they reside in another plane of existence, which is the same plane that your soul/angel self resides on. The issue the mc is dealing with in the beginning (which is actually the halfway point of the present timeline) is that they have, through the use of too much power, bound themselves to their mortal shell, thus forcing their wings to exist in the same plane as their human shell. Hence the issue as, yes, angels are not common knowledge. The second half of the story deals with different factions revealing themselves to the humans (or not) because the apocalypse is on and you’re walking around with 6 wings. You will, potentially, be able to hide them. This will be based on certain relationships, skills, and use of resources. I don’t want to be too spoilery unless you want to hear more, so I’ll leave it at that for the moment.

Daniel, at the start of the story, will be 5. By the midpoint and beyond he will be 18.

Lastly, angels and emotions. So the angel hierarchy comes into play a little on this one (see the Glossary in the stat screen for a rundown on my hierarchy of angels). Generally angels are not overly emotional with each other unless they are close. Ishim are angels made from human souls and are expected to be more emotional. Cherubim as the younger angels are also considered excitable and emotional. Guardians work closely with humans and need to be emotional so they can pass as humans. Thrones and Watchers are the least emotional of all angel tiers. Archangels are kind of in a funny position. There’s only a handful, and each one is different. Israfel, for example, is a complete softy but he isn’t comfortable talking or showing emotions around anyone other than Gabriel and Michael. Michael is a prick who has a very conceited notion about how archangels should behave, the foremost point of which is that they should not behave like humans. Many lower angels don’t interact with the archangels so they perceive them as aloof and tend to view them as incapable of doing wrong.


#12

also you might want to not split the stat choices into 4x2 but fit all 8 on the same page since if some people want to replay game as particular build this makes it harder for them. I dont encourage metagaming but you are running in blind. for example i wanted to build Leadership char and i had to spend time clicking all the 4 options and looking at the two suboptions of each choice. This is pretty inpractical

Also the whole gender thing feels like Forcefully inserted wikipedia. Seriously I aplaud you for Putting big ammount of work into those sexual identities and such. But Your aproach seems quite heavy handed almost as if it was for PR. that inclusivity seems forced rather than natural. To be fair thats my personal opinion and even then i disagree with aproach rather than the gender thing itself.


#13

@CaesarCzech
I really have to disagree with you here, i think The sexuality options are great and i like how one has so many choices. I dont agree that it Comes across as something forcefull rather something natural and delightful.


#14

Definitely like what I read so far, I was almost sad to reach the end of the demo. I look forward to see how you tackle the various religions. I also can’t for an epic showdown with with any top tier deities be Lucifer, Micheal, or any other option you may come up with. My only complaint is about your comment that the first half of the story is pretty linear, which is slightly disappointing but a good story makes up for that and I have this feeling that you will deliver just that. Anyways good luck ( with the game and your thesis) and look forward to the next update.


#15

@GloriaRose No, Lucifer is not a RO. However, you will be seeing more of him, depending on how you play. I won’t say why at the moment because, spoilers darling.

@CaesarCzech The Might vs Strength is supposed to be similar in name. Both stats are more representative of a brute force character, hence the similarity in names. Strength however is for physical and might is Grace (or angelic magic). I am open to suggestions that might make this clearer though, as choosing the labels for these particular stats involved several conversations with an English Major so they may very well be too subtle of differences.

As for the stat screen, I would love to hear more feedback on this. Personally I hated the long stat screen and prefer multiple subcategories, but if the majority prefer everything on one screen that’s easy enough to fix. I split it up with the idea of primary and secondary allocations as the main screen deals with the primary stats that will, in essence, effect survivability. Relationships and skills play a part but these are what I consider less essential stats, in that playing without paying attention to these stats is possible. In particular I want players to be able to gauge their relationship and skill levels from the story itself, using the bars as confirmation of the way they are being treated.

What specifically about the approach made it seem heavy-handed to you? Was it just the ‘both’ branch? (That would be the one I would assume would feel heavier handed compared to the others as the way it was structured led to more nested choices). It’s supposed to feel a little stilted–this is a character who has not really considered the ramifications or meaning of selecting a gender identity and is doing it under the sudden prodding of an archangel (who does have a reason for prodding you but I’m trying to avoid spoilers). It’s not exactly a normal situation. One of the reasons it is so complex for the angel identity is because the mortal shell has to be strictly male or female.

[quote=“CaesarCzech, post:12, topic:15298”]
Leadership char and i had to spend time clicking all the 4 options and looking at the two suboptions of each choice. This is pretty inpractical
[/quote] If you were trying this for the options in the chaos plane, there is no leadership bonus as you probably noticed. A couple of things on this. First of all, the first part is not meant to focus on your stats and traits. It will give you a boost but it is not a definitive playstyle at this point. The first four options correspond to the four skill points you can pick, with a boost on the two types of fighting style associated with each of those skills.

The first of the more defining traits comes into play with your wing and weapon selection and I attempted to make that very clear as to what skills were gaining with each choice, though you do have to select a choice to see what skills can be gained from it, but there is the option to change your selection. The purpose of this is that a) I want people to be able to know what skills they will be increasing while b) not directly telling the player “psst! For leadership click me!” I want a more organic character evolution with the choices made for the choices, though I can understand the frustration when attempting to level a certain skill.

What I will say for certain is that there will be opportunities that almost explicitly tell you what skills you will be leveling. Example: (The format, not the exact words/situation) There is going to be a police raid on a warehouse full of drugs. You:
A: Volunteer to lead the raid yourself.
B: Carry the battering ram to break down the door.
C: Slip in the back door with a smaller team.
D: Plan out the attack and hang back so you can make modifications on the go.

Not all options will provide the opportunity to level all stats. For example, the previous four choices are A. Leadership, B. Strength, C. Agility, and D.Ingenuity. However, the opportunity for gaining stats will be equal in that stats not represented here will potentially be leveled elsewhere. Reading the explanation of the traits/stats is supposed to help players identify potential situations where they might increase a stat if they are having difficulties.

Again, the skills are currently a WIP. I am focusing first on the story as the stat checks don’t really come into play until the second half of the story which is a ways off. Currently my system of stats is an incremental system based on percentages so that it gets harder to level certain skills the higher your rating. I may change this to a much simpler system of flat values that would (potentially) allow you to exceed 100%. In the future I may post the demo without the corresponding stat changes based on decisions because I am still tweaking them.

@T_bonez Thanks for the comment! I think that I may have confused people when I said linear–I was referring to timeline, less so plot line, though the first half is a little more straightforward than the second-half. There are plenty of choices with ramifications in the first-half, from selecting the cop you partner with to deciding how to deal with your local demons. My goal is that players can fall wherever they want on a ‘goodness’ scale. I don’t want to give away too much but I do want to make it so that replaying the game with different choices actually changes the way the game feels, rather than trying out different stats for different battle techniques. Because the second half of the game really delves into alliances the branches diverge more dramatically, but I’d like to think that the first half will still offer plenty of choices and noticeable differences for various playthrough styles.


This brings me to one other point: I have difficulties playing evil or dark characters. I’m the type of person who kept reloading while playing Halo because the marines died :confounded:. I do have a roommate who plays evil incarnate characters attempting to check that I do have a viable ‘dark’ path… but if you notice a distinct lack, feel free to point it out.


#16

@Dae-kalina oki, for now i will just focus on being all evil and then rule hell as king Muhahha :smiling_imp: #Romanceistocomeformymc #firstloveisnotaRO


#17

I will say this for RO’s (I’ll say more if people want me to because I love talking about my characters) there is a wide variety of species (i.e. werewolves, fae, humans, angels, demons, Fallen…) and alignment will change the RO’s (certain characters won’t be impressed that you want to rule hell :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:). Secondly I will state this: they appear to be limited for the first half of the story but opens up at the second half. Not saying why that is though, just that it is a thing.

I have a feeling your character may like a certain warlock…


#18

@Dae-kalina you had me AT demon and when you said warlock , i died, all The feels :heart::+1:[quote=“Dae-kalina, post:17, topic:15298”]
I’ll say more if people want me to because I love talking about my characters
[/quote]
Also this please Tell me more! :wink:


#19

Does your human form age or do you have to take a new form so people don’t know you’re not exactly human?
Really good story can’t wait for more :grinning:


#20

Lucifer is not a RO? Aw. :c

I’m mostly kidding. :slight_smile: The interest in him is mostly due to the fact that he seems like a really interesting character. I don’t know if we’ll get to define how the MC feel about him in general, but so far I think my MC used to idolize him, especially for introducing this whole new wonderful concept of “you can choose for yourself”, to her. Haven’t decided what her feeling about him “falling” is yet.

It interesting when comparing the archangels. My MC and Michael will be on complete opposite ends of the spectrum of “emotions and feeling about humans”… so yeah… there’ll definitely be lots of arguing. ^^

Btw. There is a bug in the game, when choosing your angel blade. If you choose the morningstar it maxes your ruthlessness, but if you don’t choose it and go back and for example choose the staff you end up with 80% ruthless (where it would be 60% merciful if you had chosen the staff at the beginning). I haven’t tried all combos to see if the problem happens with the other weapons