SoS: The Mortal Coil (WIP, Cover Art Done Oct. 29, post 1821)

modern-fantasy
adult-fiction
nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice

#1860

Ah yes. The ye old title drop reveal when the son of satan isn’t actual Daniel but a title bestowed on Lucy’s descendants. Maybe /banished

But yeah the Gabriel, Lucy, Daniel connection is too much of a plot point for it to not be used. And then there’s also what Michael knows which makes me feel it’s in conjunction with that


#1861

I took it upon myself to actually save a couple versions of my Gabriel (from the avatar sites you posted before - again thanks for those since I’m not good at drawing lol) Its cool to see how different our Gabriel’s look, despite reading the same thing. The imagination works in mysterious ways! :smile:

Anywho my first Gabriel - Mainly a healer, pacifist, is deeply loyal to heaven and her role as an Archangel (hence the cross and doves)

Whereas my second Gabriel, she’s definitely a fighter and more in your face. She cares little for the politics of heaven and feels restricted in freedom especially when she learns about what’s in her file.
(represented by the sword and chain)


#1862

Wow, where did you do that?


#1863

You’re welcome, happy to help fellow readers with no drawing skill haha. Your Gabriel’s are very beautiful.
Here’s the link to anyone curious:
http://www.azaleasdolls.com/dressupgames/epic-angel.php


#1864

Gildarth had shared some links for avatar creators above, I believe they also copied it into their reply to my post so look there for the link :slight_smile:


#1865

May have to do mine.


#1866

What a satisfying read.

Dear Author, you have just won my eternal respect due to the sheer replayability of your story (nevermind the magnificent writing!). Thank you for the hard effort you put into both the plot and the gameplay.

This WIP is a true gem.

P.S.: Are you by chance a published author? Your prose is crazy good!


#1867

I really like this demo so far, and looking forward to see more. :smiley:


#1868

The plot seems… familiar? I just can’t put my finger on it! :persevere::persevere:


#1869

A little bit of deja vu?? is it because you read it before and don’t remember :slight_smile: because how could someone forget an amazing game like this, its like no other, Syd is very creative and has made her own world and characters, and everything so if it reminds you of something im sure that it was just this one and your little brain just forgot :slight_smile:


#1870

He’s not going to like the former, but he’ll permit the latter.

@Sailendranath_Murmu
If the bit in spoilers was in reference to who told Gabriel to protect the kid, then no, it was not Lucifer. It was an order from God.

Thanks for the comment!

@Gildarth
I love seeing how people interpret their Gabs, including with avatar creators! Thanks for sharing!

@squarelyblue I love you but I love the tinfoil hats more. Hopefully once all is revealed it will live up to expectations.

Also, I wouldn’t possibly be tossing out red herrings now would I?

Thank you for sharing both of your Gabriels! If you ever want to share more about them (particularly if they have a different canon name) I would love to hear about them!

@niisan
Ah thank you for that lovely comment! I am not a published author, though I do have a game published as a lead designer (I did not do the writing, however.)

@CGW
What a peculiar comment! I presume you’ve finished what is available of the demo so far, and I would hope you enjoyed it but perhaps it’s not your cup of tea. Indeed I like embracing some classic tropes–such as ‘the chosen one’–though I am afraid I would have no idea why the plot would seem familiar to you unless, as @Djone1 pointed out, you have perhaps played this game before. It has been kicking around for nearly 3 years now and has quite a lot of information available on the tumblr or in the discord.

If you have a concrete critique I would love to hear it! If you have any non-rhetorical questions you may direct them at me here or, as mentioned previously, the game’s tumblr or discord. I am curious what about the plot strikes you as so familiar. Perhaps it is the general trope of being a detective? There are several games with that, yes, though I take quite a few liberties and the police of Jericho City are quite unlike the force anywhere else. Perhaps it’s my use of well-known religious names, which I have utilized to create my own distinct characters and in some cases subvert expectations of the readers. I can’t answer this question for you! That lies on you.

Oh, and expect questions that may reveal spoilers, such as certain plot related questions, to be unanswered or purposefully misdirected. Cheers and welcome to the thread!


#1871

:smiley:

D:

This is peak betrayal and you know it :stuck_out_tongue:

But fine. I understand. I will just have to make all the conspiracy theories in my own tiny corner /sighs drammatically


#1872

Ah… i may have mixed up the plot of the 2007 movie gabriel with the plot of the movie legion lol my bad.
And this is definitely my cup of tea! I can’t wait for it!

the only thing that bothered me was how mortal genders is known to angels? Like non-binary and such. It kinda breaks the immersion (to me anyway) how immortal beings use terms that came in to use just recently by humans. Maybe have the options changed to something that references how mortals use these sorts of terms?


#1873

I’ll hold the string.

I’m glad you’re enjoying it!

I’m not sure what you mean by this? Angels aren’t subject to linear time progression so the term wouldn’t be new to them and they do have a sort of hive-mind of general knowledge when it comes to humanity. They aren’t always up to date on pop culture unless they make a point of it, but generally they have a good grasp of where humanity is at. Not to mention that non-binary literally means not of two (binary meaning of/related to two) so the word itself isn’t something I feel an angel wouldn’t use.

Angels aren’t native English speakers and speak Enochian around their own kind; anything they say is essentially translated already for players and therefore using recognizable terms seems, to me, a detail that doesn’t need justification. Not to mention angels frequently engage with a variety of other species, some of which lean towards a majority of their population using binary genders so the concept of male, female, or non-binary is something they have been exposed to in addition to a plethora of other genders. Angels, especially younger ones, tend to identify as agender; gender isn’t a big deal to angels generally. ((Is there perhaps some significance to Lucifer being the one to prompt a selection? They say there’s no such thing as coincidence…))

If you have a specific example as to what you mean in mind that would greatly help! I’m afraid at the moment I simply don’t understand the last part of your response.


#1874

Ah, i thought they were just speaking english lol I must’ve skipped over that part. I’ll be sure to read everything! My ability to explain stuff is weak so… i can’t explain further sorry. But you did clear it up for me :slight_smile:


#1875

I honestly feel like there’s something more insidious at work than Danny being just a grandkid of Lucy. Like we know his mom is from a magically powerful family but is there something otherworldly about that as a power source? Hence why god wants Gabby to watch over him?

Chinrubs


#1876

Hmmm…


#1877

Hey, I think I found a typo. image I think that’s supposed to say “of him.” not “of hi.”


#1878

I’m fairly religious, but this game is too goodnto not try out and it is very well done.

My main character is definitely a conflicted mess who longs for God and is loyal to Heaven, but is deeply loyal to his nestmates and protective of humans. He was awesome by Lucifer and felt betrayed by his Fall, but doesn’t hate him.

He is jovial, sarcastic, and will only lose his virginity to a woman he loves wholeheartedly, but he fears the creation of Nephilim. He seeks to save Ramiel and his children and will fall into depression for a century when he fails.

Ultimately, he holds on to them hope that God will come back and if he follows His will with Daniel, things can return to normal.


#1879

The plot and how this game plays sounds similar to the original mythology(in that Gabriel left heaven to avoid a war) and the Tv show, Supernatural with different characters. Are you basing the story off those two?