SoS: The Mortal Coil (WIP)

I’ve been a member on here for years, but due to school I haven’t been on here in ages, and forgot my old account information, BUT, I have to say this is the best WIP I’ve seen in the past few years. I can’t wait until you progress enough to have beta testers as I would volunteer in a heartbeat. Not gonna lie though, I adore Lucifer so far and I love your approach with him. I still lowkey hope he’s a romace, but alas after reading your comment I see that won’t happen :sob: . I still look forward to your next updates!

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@GloriaRose Well, the demons include an incubus and succubus for starters. I also want to point out here that there are differences in this world between demons, devils, and the Devil. (Worldbuilding notes!) Demons are former humans. Angels who fell are called Fallen, and are not demons. Devils are actually creatures from other planes of existence. Most of them are actually dark but some are not. Therefore calling Lucifer the Devil is actually a misnomer. There are classes of demons like there are for angels, like succubus and incubus.

Ahem. The warlock.

First of all, and not actually pertinent to him being a RO, he has a brother named Nate who is a necromancer. A sketchy necromancer who is perpetually high.

His name is Ryder (though that’s not his birth name. His birth name is Eljas.) Warlocks are territorial due to the nature of their power (demonic bargains) so he is the sole warlock in the city. (Warlocks are a type of magic user, and the term is gender neutral, btw). He has a soft spot for his brother even though he’s usually found yelling at him. Hates werewolves. Likes to use hellfire to burn things.

He has an intense hatred of weakness and is of the opinion that if you can’t hold onto power then you never deserved it. He has no qualms about killing and isn’t particularly good at relationships. Somewhat vain, he likes to enforce stereotypes of what a warlock looks like (according to him) so he goes around dressed in a black leather duster, black boots, black cargo pants, a (you guessed it) black shirt. He has long white-blond hair and pale, almost white, eyes.

He is flattered by people giving him power. He is attracted to power, regardless of gender. Ryder finds ruthlessness and manipulating others a turn on. He can actually be protective of the MC if the relationship is approached carefully, but generally he prefers to be part of a power couple.

Feel free to ask specific questions. I’ll answer if I think I can do so without being super-duper spoilery. (I think goal accomplished so far?)

@Ventura I am so happy that people are interested in Lucifer. He has a rather pivotal role (oh how bad I want to give spoilers). There will be opportunities to define their relationship and how your mc feels about him, and also the opportunity to change that after a certain reveal. I have to let Lucifer have a little say here on his general state of being in present time.

Lucifer: “God gave us freewill. He made me. I am of the mind that he knew what I would do, and I have come to terms with it. I may be called the Devil. They may call me Satan. But I believe that humans need incentive to do good, to help them drive back the darkness. I find fear an adequate incentive. So in my way, I am doing what God intended. I punish the wicked. Someone has to, and who better than one who has known heaven and lost it? I know what it is to lose paradise. I know how to inflict pain. I know how to terrify those who would sin straight, and I know how to draw sinners in and make them pay.”

Sorry. Well, not really. I want Lucy back in the game soon but… it is not to be. King of Hell has things to do, like making sure Lillith doesn’t oust him. I also want to say that the relationship with the MC can change some of his view on his situation. And if you play the right cards, you can see Lucifer in an apron. Cooking. I fear I’ve said too much but… I just adore Lucy and love that people seem to want more of him.

And Michael… Michael has a complicated relationship with the MC. Even if you agree with him, he’ll still find a way to turn it into a fight. Part of it is for spoilery reasons that will be revealed at some point. Part of it is just Michael.

And thanks for the bug catch! I’ll have to go check that out and see what’s causing that. Is it sad that I’m actually excited someone found something wrong that I can go fix? Edit: Caught the bugger. Think I’ve put it down. I uploaded a new version.

@reitakishima Glad you like it! I will let people know when I’m looking for final beta testers but it will probably be a while… this thing is going to be long. Like 50,000 words before you even get to go to your job location for the first time, forget actually working and meeting people. And another Lucy adorer. You people make me want to explain why he’s not a RO but… spoilers…

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Ahhhhh this world building is phenomenal! The amount of thought you are putting behind this is so cool. I could listen to you describe everything in this world. Also the Warlock sounds so cool, but in an extremely dorky way with how he dresses :joy: . Also one part of me wishes to romance him, but on the other hand he seems kind of like a father/idol figure to Gabriel.

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@reitakishima Careful what you wish for! I have chased my roommates from the room before with world-building discussions! Seriously though, if you have a question about the world feel free to ask. There are probably things that won’t be explicitly mentioned in the game (part of the reason for the glossary) as well as things that the scope of this game simply doesn’t reach that people may be interested in, so go ahead and ask away.

Though I will say that:
A. The MC has a biased world view and some of their ‘facts’ may not be accurate (i.e. don’t put all your trust in what Gabriel ‘knows’) and
B. Magic makes impossibilities a little wonky.

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Might be interesting. Plus it’s rated mature. I’ll definitely be watching this thread.

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Okay then! So you said that there are different classes of demons, like for angels? What all are the different classes? Also if all the original angels were created as warriors for the creation of Earth, then how do they treat Ishim, since it seems like they were humans before they were angels? It seems like Gabriel and Israfel seem to have a sibling like relationship or a very close friendship, are they simply close due to both serving together or does Israfel admire Gabriel? Sorry I just love world building, lore, and just general background information most want to skip over.

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archangels will be the highest order of angels in this game ? You won’t include Seraphins or higher rank angels (: Christian angelic hierarchy) ?

EDIT: forget what I just said, I didn’t read it entirely yet…

Nate the Necromancer… xD The warlock sounds interesting but I don’t think he and my MC’s personalities would mix well.

What I plan to work her towards, is more in the “neutral good” area. A nice, empathic person who generally wants to help, but understand (or at least will at some point :P) that the world isn’t all black and white. Like paragade Commander Shepard. :slight_smile:

Btw since Lucifer is our “brother” does that mean we’ll be Daniels (great) Uncle/Auntie/Untie MC? Will we be his legal guardian on Earth? Also I have a feeling he’ll ruin her in the end. If he’s in general just a normal kid (besides the whole son of the devil thing) I have a strong feeling where her allegiance will lie in the end. :-/

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@reitakishima Alright, you asked and you shall receive!

Part of the strangeness with demon classes is that the hells also tend to be occupied by some types of devils and of course the Fallen. Regardless of power, Fallen are always considered greater than even an archdemon because Fallen were never human.

Demon classes:

  1. Archdemons are the top tier of demons.
  2. Dominations are roughly the equivalent of Watchers: they monitor the workings of the hells and keep a rough order. They are tier two and answer only to the Fallen and Lucifer himself.
  3. Shedim are the third tier of demons. These are the older demons who do not hold an archdemon position but are powerful in their own right. Notable example: Cain.
  4. Furies are tier four demons. These are the main fighters of hell, the ones who most often come into contact with angels. They are the second most numerous class.
  5. Incubi/Sucubi are the one class that actually uses a different name for the different genders. They are tier four demons that exist to create bargains with humans. They are the most numerous class. Note that while commonly associated with lust they represent all sins and are responsible for all demonic contracts.
  6. Telane are tier four. These are roughly equivalent to the Keepers: they keep track of all the contracts made with demons and determine punishments for sins.
  7. Mazikim are not heard of on earth primarily because they never leave hell. They are the so called ‘guardians of hell.’ They keep the damned in and angels out. They are the last of the tier four demons.
  8. Cambions: These are demons born as the result of a demon and a human. They present as demons rather than gifted humans but since they are biologically half-breeds they are considered as lesser. They do not advance beyond tier five and are often used as cannon fodder…err, foot soldiers.
  9. Imps are tier five demons. They live to serve other demons, biding their time until they have enough power to seize a higher rank. They are often used for running errands and messages between earth and Hell.
  10. Hellspawn are the lowest class, technically, as these are actually demons that have been bred either with other demons or are human-demon hybrids that are dominantly demons. This is a very mixed class full of what is often referred to as “Hellmutts” (yes, the angels have slurs that use the pronunciation helmets to refer to low level demons).

I love that you noticed this and asked. There’s a reason Ishim only hold one tier within the hierarchy. A lot of them are used as Guardian Angels (Guardian is a job, not a rank) but they are still considered lesser than the actual Guardian tier of angels. Most guardian angels do not treat them differently though because they respect that they do the same job. Ishim who have other jobs though are typically treated as second-class citizens. To this end they are often given more menial tasks in the heavens, usually the jobs that require interaction with human souls residing there. Most of them prefer this as they often find it difficult to truly understand the other angels. Another popular position is raising the cherubim, who absolutely adore the Ishim. As the cherubim grow most lose their fondness but some remember the Ishim fondly. Your mc will get to interact with a few notable Ishim and you can choose how you see them for yourself.

All the angels refer to each other as sibling in a very loose way–this world does permit angels to form relationships with one another so they are not truly ‘siblings.’ Gabriel and Israfel have grown up together and Israfel adores Gabriel. There used to be four of them who were thick as thieves but things happened and now there’s Michael who mostly keeps to himself and then there’s Israfel and Gabriel. Israfel calls Gabriel his sibling and means it more in the human respect than the typical angelic meaning. He has absolute trust in Gabriel, almost to the point of naivete (it is nearly impossible to get him to hate you. Be disappointed, yes. But earning his hate is truly a feat, mainly because he will choose to be willfully blind or allow himself to come around to your perspective.)

@bl00dragon I am quite deliberately eschewing the normal Christian, Jewish, and Islamic hierarchies. There’s really no one true hierarchy as it different according to different theologians and denominations anyways so I decided to just chuck the book out the window and create my own. Because I am using an iconic character who is an archangel and because I wanted their to be a heavy implied duty I made archangels the top tier. However, there are two tiers (if you want to test your knowledge of my hierarchy for this world, try to name them!) that do not actually listen to them and may in fact be more powerful. More of this will be revealed if your mc chooses to concern themselves with the politics of heaven which are at best complicated. The tiers as presented in the Glossary are what Gabriel was taught as the tiers and what they represent.

@Ventura I think your mc will get along with some of the Fallen rather well then, maybe even a couple of the demons.

…Of sorts? I just mentioned in this post that the ‘sibling’ reference between angels is not the same for human siblings. However, Gabriel’s mortal identity is the maternal aunt/uncle (now I want to make Untie a thing for this) of Daniel so that legal custody is easier to maintain without suspicion. Spoilers for the next update Daniel’s mother is dead and his father is a cambion who is not in the picture so Gabriel assumes the fake identity of the deceased mother’s sibling. And I think I’ll refrain from additional comments on his ‘normal’ status.

Edit: I somehow missed @avidreader earlier. To answer your question: not really. It does but at a much slower rate than any normal human. This has to do with the fact that these shells are not easy to make and need to last–they can be reused and having a mortal lifespan would make the tradeoff of creating them difficult to justify. However, your mc never gets to the point where that is an issue because everything goes sideways real fast after thirteen years. Typically for short assignment angels will just change their form (like when your mc chooses a gender if they do). The general solution to aging is to move the angel in the shell around and rewrite their history as the need arises.

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Very interesting idea. When we start creating Gabriel I imagine the angels look like the ones from Diablo, all armor and robes without faces or flesh until deciding on their form. I’ll definitely be watching for updates on this one.

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I like the idea that this game gives, and it makes you see lucifer in a different light that he is normally depicted which could be good or bad. I’m looking forward to updates on this story!

The story seems interesting and i was about to ask some to make a game about an angels point of view game.
I like the colour change effects kinda long intro tho but it was still good.
Quick question why cant we put our own name?

Have a good day sir :)grin:

Not yet Gabriel is how they will call you unless explicitly corrected. but you can have different name,

My, what a lovely game! :blush:

I like your style a lot, and it piques my curiosity: it makes me wonder a lot of things! Like how will you develop the story itself, with all the religions. It’s an interesting take, indeed. It’s very intriguing, and it gives a different vibe, specially your version of Lucifer (there are many interpretations of him, from the haughty and prideful angel to the sorrowful/gentle one).

Personally, I love this bit:

[quote]There is no reply, like you knew there would not be.

There is no reply, because your God is missing.

There is no reply, because your God is dead. [/quote]
Also, I have a question: will you be able to choose how your (arch)angel feels about their god? :open_mouth: Like, they can still believe every word they say and adore them, be neutral and obedient, or end up despising them?

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@CrayFoPottah haha you understand my pain xD

So I’ve talked a little about this but I’m going to go into a more depth here. Part of the reason is that you’re taking the role of an iconic figure with a preordained name. A random archangel would be missing the lore that Gabriel has associated with them, and a lot of this game deals with the reality of Gabriel versus the popular conception of Gabriel. Also given that many of the characters are figures like Lucifer, Michael, Lillith, Abaddon, etc. having a character who already has at least an implied place and history among them let’s me focus on defining the character rather than spending a while establishing your character as an archangel. I decided to use Gabriel for several reasons. Typical portrayals of Gabriel depict them as closer to humanity than other archangels (especially compared to Michael) which fits the story. Another reason is that the name Gabriel is one of the easier names to assign either a male or female figure in my mind (pronunciation switches to Gabrielle for me, even without a spelling change). There will be a scene where Gabriel can remark upon how their name was written down and that they butchered the pronunciation. The lore of my world also deals heavily with the power of names, especially true names. Gabriel is not just your name but also what you are–and the player gets to define that. However, this game is about choices. When creating your human shell (which will be in 2 updates) you get to select your own name. This is how every mortal will refer to you and if you so choose the angels will too. As to why you haven’t picked a name before, it has to do with expectations of angels. Angels are created with names–it is part of their very being and every angel can read another angel’s name in their Grace. They are assigned an identity; choosing a name for oneself is simply not done. Gabriel has used other identities before but never actually lived with a different name. As they live as whatever their chosen name is the idea is that they become more comfortable with it and may get to the point where they insist on being called their chosen name over Gabriel by everyone. (Michael will refuse to do this though). Hope that helps answers everyone’s questions about the name bit. Feel free to ask about anything I’ve just said if you’re still wondering about something.

Very much so. Piety is actually a hidden stat. There is also a hidden rebellion stat. Piety deals with how you feel about your God specifically. Your Gabriel can adore God but still rebel against them for various reasons (ranging from ‘I need to be my own person’ to ‘I love you but you’re wrong’–a little love/hate here–or even ‘I have to do this for Daniel/other people/reasons’). A neutral obedient character will have low rebellion as well as middling piety. They don’t really care about God either way bit supports the institution of Heaven (or is too lazy to upset the status quo). You can also despsise God but support Heaven. A good little archangel–one who maintains the status quo–will have high piety and no rebellion and see everything God does as right and good without question (to me this is the more puppet-like character who can tend to be more dogmatic than realistic). You can even, with much difficulty, rule hell and still like your God.

They don’t technically have ranks. Fallen view themselves as better than all demons because they were once angels but Lucifer forbids ranks among them as he says that Falling makes them all equal. Their jobs/roles dictate the relative hierarchy based on sheer power–Lucifer is King of Hell so he is at the top of the food chain. He only holds this position through his own power and it can be taken from him. Fallen tend to treat each other according to their angelic rank when they Fell which leads to some nasty fighting as power and not rank earns respect in Hell. In general the Fallen work under Lucifer but not with each other.

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How large are planes are they the same size as planets or galaxies or are they different universes?

Alright I just have to say you have only posted the smallest demo and already I love this game more then half the other WIP here. So far it is amazing! I can not wait for the next update.

First things first, I love the way you have shown Lucifer, he is almost always shown as being vain, arrogant, or evil just for the sake of being evil, it is hardly ever talked about how he was a kind angel who rebelled to end the injustices he has seen. Now I don’t know what he will be like the next time we see him, I’m sure an eternity of hell has changed him at least a little, but so far I’m loving every second of him.

Now that I’m done with that I have two questions,

  1. Does Gabriel know any of the other Fallen? Right now we know Lucifer, but when he Fell we didn’t really know him, it would be much more of an impact if someone Gab knew and was close with was one of the Fallen.
  2. At any point when Gabriel is on earth does he see or hear about any stories about them made by humans? I can just imagine Gabriel reading something and being “WTF, who made up this story about me?”
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I Beileve Lillath was a fallen angel not 100% sure