Song Of The Fallen WIP: Yet another Codex Entry posted for opinion

Haha! Fair enough, although they don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

I played trough the update and my oh my, it just keeps getting better.

hmmm i kinda like it, maybe it will be nice if we can choose our weapon and is not always a dagger xD

I assume its a dagger cause
1:daggers are cool.
2:you don’t have the kind of power to summon magic swords.
(and maybe boundweapons can become different weapons like a multi-tool sort of thing)

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Ah, I wanted to respond to the update earlier but I was on mobile and the controls for everything was confusing as balls. cough Annywayyy~

First off, oh my god.
Seriously. I can’t emphasize how much of an impact all of that had on me. You’re a powerful writer. It feels like none of your words are a waste. Everything has a purpose and nothing seems to stray plot-wise.

Second off, Been wantin’ to stab that bitch for a while. and I find it strangely satisfying that I got to~ Forgive my language lol

I think everyone was rubbed the wrong way by that lady. That, or she just made me feel really defensive over Ehren.
He’s my precious dumpling, he’s too good for this world; she can’t have him.

Her appearance kinda shocked me at first? Maybe shocked is a bad word for it?
When she showed up, it made me a little wary…
Big storm, sudden appearance of a child who doesn’t really know who she is…?
Anybody else smell a bad omen?

Just me?

And I was soooo right lol

I don’t feel like I really know that much about her, besides the fact that she seems to be a somewhat ordinary child. Except for the magic part. It was satisfying in regards to the fact that I’m pretty positive she means no harm Specifically because of the dialogue she has where she’s relieved by the fact that the MC isn’t afraid of her ‘glowing bits’ lol

I’m quite happy with my character to be honest. I feel like I get to say the things I’m actually thinking (We think alike, Left :ok_hand:)

[quote]Is the tone of the responses intuitive or are you going into each one just guessing the effect it’ll have on your personality?[/quote] The more I read, the more I get immersed, so typically I’m not too concerned about what I’m doing to my personality and more on what I think I’d say in the situation. And because I seem to mainly play the stoic type; whatever’s bluntest is what I got goin’ for me.

Please God, Dont. That would ruin it, I think. I imagine most people pick what they pick because they think their character would say that, and if it doesn’t fit up with the ‘personality’ choice, then oh well? People in real life aren’t a straight-line personality. It adds more to the character.

Hmmmm…I can’t really think of anything…
I do semi have a request for you though. Or maybe not a request but me just asking in general.

In my case (which may not be the same way for everyone else) if my best friend who I grew up with told me he/she was leaving me; TEARS WOULD BE SHED, MAN. TEARS WOULD BE SHED.
Manly tears of course cough

I seem to only really play as the stoic type, so I imagine that he wouldn’t just break-down in front of Ehren and whatnot, but come-on, man. Get just a bit misty-eyed.
Your mom is slowly getting more and more distant in her own head, the only other family member is dead and you can barely keep food on the table.That’s a lot of stress for anyone, especially someone as young as the MC. and add the only other person who really gives a crap about you, is leaving you. That’s a lot man.

Maybe not a; “I’m not crying; you’re crying.”, moment but yeah.

I’m basically asking for a single-tear kind of moment because I had my own when I read it. I mean I knew it was comin’. But tbh, I REALLY don’t want us to split up. Which might be pointless to say because I stabbed the crap out of his only transportation out of town.
Made sure to poke her as many times as possible.

Ahhh!! Actually, in general; the MC’s life is really depressing, huh?

Mayhaps think about making a crybaby-type personality? Or just someone who complains in general. After all not everybody can take burdens and get through life without complaining. I imagine Ehren would baby that personality (The crybaby one, not the complainer lol I imagine he might be a bit cranky with that one) and if you do decide to make him a romance option it would make a bit of sense in that regard. With him already baby-ing the MC and all. In my opinion anyway.
I think it would put a lot more pressure on you though tbh, haha. You’re already dealing with 4 different personalities.
Don’t take too much on your back. Take it slow. :thumbsup:

Ah, I’m sorry I blabbered in this. Hopefully this helped in regards to your questions. Or atleast gave you somethin’ to think about.
Love the story so far :ok_hand::heart:

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That’s pretty much what it is. The size of the Blade is tied to your strength. As you move forward, it grows in length, you’re also able to manipulate the shape it takes, since the dagger isn’t really a dagger. But…we aren’t quite at that point yet.

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@SteamShard i just need to agree on the crybaby part! Brillant thinking since my mc also wanted to cry a bit when Ehren said he was leaving. (By a bit i mean a lot and maybe fling himself against him) But i choose the lie part instead ; '(((( @Left4Bed please! oh great writher could you make it possibel? :heart_eyes::blush::grinning::relaxed:

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I can’t emphasize how much you saying that means to me. Not so long ago I was really close to scraping this and throwing it all away. I was staring at everything I’d written, filled with such disgust. But I’ve found a renewed vigour though, and kind words such as that just make it burn all the brighter, so thank you!

I’m glad that final scene has had such a strong impact and reception! Initially it just read (if you chose to kill her) as you stabbing her again and again, without it being a choice. But as I was reading over it for typos and such I thought to myself, It would be really cool if each stab was an actual choice the player could make. Really driving home the tragedy and blind grief of the moment, for them to know that each time the dagger broke her flesh, it was a conscious decision and that they could have stopped at any moment. There will, however, be consequences for choosing to kill her, especially in such a visceral way. The act of taking a life is blatant, so final, no matter the situation. I want to explore that idea, so it’s definitely going to impact the MC.

The stoic type is actually the most difficult for me to write. In the beginning I mostly resigned that option to “saying nothing”, but as I kept doing that it felt as if I was robbing the player by misinterpreting that personality type. There are still a lot of silences, but I really have to rack my brain when it comes to given that option actual dialogue. As someone who veers more towards that type, it would be really helpful if you could maybe tell me where you think I could improve in that regard or perhaps even options you’d like to see moving forward or one’s you wish were there?

Noted!

That was my thinking when I first set up the system and it’s the feel I’m going for. But I thought it might be an issue if you’re doing a second playthrough and might want to play as a certain mould or archetype.

Great suggestion! I’ve already begun to add that option in, aside from the valid points you’ve raised, it also allows me to keep the four choice minimum that I’m trying to maintain. I probably spent half an hour at that section trying to think of a fourth option to add, I can’t believe it never occurred to me.

Don’t be sorry! I have the gift of the blab myself, so it’s totally cool! You’ve given me a lot to think about, ideas on how to integrate certain things, so thank you again!

I’m glad to have finally moved the story to a point where things begin to actually happen. I have a very deliberate pace, that for the most part I’m still going to maintain, but from here on out is where the really exciting things begin to happen. And I can’t wait to write about them.

For the next update I hope to (finally) finish the Call as well as add more interaction with Bella in the cave. As long as I don’t faff about, I’ll also be starting the first part of Chapter 3 as well as fleshing out the Codex along the way, though I don’t know how deep into that I’ll have the time to get.

As i said before, I’m forcing myself to abide by a monthly update cycle. I’ll hopefully be adding at least 20 000 words with each of them, maybe more if inspiration strikes.

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Personally, I prefer my characters to hide their depressions, weaknesses, insecurities and self-loathing behind a “veil of jocularity” and a plastered on smile. In short I generally prefer the option for my characters to invoke the “sad clown” trope instead of breaking out in tears. So I do hope you’ll also continue to give the option to flat out lie (even to ourselves) and plaster on a fake smile whenever tragedy strikes again.

As for my character, I think he’d just like to keep Bella safe long enough to return her to her family, hope to find a position as a domestic servant (or any job that pays enough to finally have enough to eat, as that would appear a big step up from his current circumstances), as he has no desire to go back to farming and was, apparently, quite bad at it, and forget about the whole thing.

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Have no fear, you’ll definitely be given ample opportunity to lie, both to yourself and to others, as we move forward. The way you deal with this tragedy will be an important theme in the part that comes directly after this so I want to provide a number of options with which to try to move through this, as we all handle trauma in different ways.

However, I’m no expert on psychology, so this will be by far one of the hardest sections for me to write, so it’ll likely go through a number of revisions.

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As I’ve said, your dagger will eventually be able to change as you begin to understand exactly what it is and how to use it. So were there any weapons in particular you’d hope to see? This is an open ended question, so everyone please feel free add your preference if you have one.

Some sort of ranged weapon perhaps? My personal preference would be for either a pistol or a hand crossbow, provided the game world has either.
Could tie in nicely with my character generally trying to keep people from getting too close.

I don’t even know what this is called, but that scene where you get to stab Heleana is just so satisfying.

Oh, and will we get more info on Mr. Riley’s background later on in the game? :smirk:

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A spear/staff might be interesting, as would a hand weapon (like a gauntlet or cestus, possibly bladed) or chain.

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The story is very interesting. Alot of foreshadowing that is driving my brain crazy. Very few grammatical errors, I believe I only spotted one I have to go back and look again. There isn’t a character that doesn’t seem to have any depth, which makes all of them likeable. Overall, this is a story I hope makes it to the end. Thank you for sharing this incedible WIP. :smile:

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classic sword. shortening from sword to dagger and back and to longsword depending on what sort of it you need ?

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I would love too wield a badass Scythe! Also it would be symbolic to the Mc’s (past/old) background as a farmer.

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a katana would be nice :smile:

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I would rather use the energy to enhance my body and punch people to dust.

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yea i like the thought of the dagger but i would like a scythe too either way really liking the game so far when do you think the next demo update will be