Snowfall (Update March 10th 2019) (Wip)

Dude. Pretty great concept. I totally got a Red Dawn vibe from the story. One thing, get yourself an editor. You write plots well, but the spelling errors and grammatical mistakes can really ruin a good story. Good luck my dude.

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Thanks for reading bud! Red dawn is absolutely a big inspiration for the story.

I’d love to get a editor, but I have no way to pay someone to do it. So for the time being it’s just a one man show.

This really remind me of the game, Wolfenstein. There are a lot of grammar and punctuation mistakes.


should be “He”. Jack is a male.

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Hey is it possible if we can add a background of our MC where he/she used to serve for the Russian Army or nah?

Nah, sorry bud. It wouldn’t make much sense to have a Russian soldier in Canada.


What if he/she is a defector from the Russians instead?

Eh, I still don’t really think it would add up in terms of the story. Like I’d have to rewrite a good bit of the prologue and add in a few variables for it.

So in short I imagine it being a lot of extra work, and I don’t really think it’d fit for the story I’m trying to tell. Sorry if thats something you really you wanted to see, but I’m not a fan of the idea.


Wow, so its been another 6 months since I said anything, I’m kinda bad at keeping ya’ll updated. Now I bet if you’re still sticking around and have a care about my fair story, you’re wondering whats happening to it. Honestly I realized that I don’t like how the story is going. Thanks to the helpful feedback and critiques from all of you (especially @catorrina, thank you again for the in-depth review) I’ve realized that things just aren’t in the right place for Snowfall to keep being written, there are some fundamental problems with the story that I’ve really over looked, (things that the reader version of me would of crucified myself over).

So I bet you’re thinking what the hell is going to happen then? Well Snowfall is going to get ripped down and built back from the ground up. Now, I’m not going to be abandoning Snowfall, it’s basically the collective universe me and my friends built through our entire childhood. Snowfall isn’t going anywhere, but, it is being placed on the back burner for the time being. As I’m currently working on a entirely different story with a new kick ass group of people, and this one has my 100% assurance it shall be completed (for whatever that’s worth at this point).

So as a summary, Snowfall is being rewritten and being placed on low priority. The thread shall of course be left open, and the story in its current state shall remain up should you wish to give it a read and vent about how basic it is or how terrible my grammar is. Any and all feedback is welcome whether it be hate or positive I’d love to know your opinion.

I bid you all, a good morning/afternoon/evening/night

And if you're interested here's a teaser to my next story



It is subject to change but this is more or less what the final intro will look like.


If you carry it on, can you make it a Punisher style story where he goes all out and guns blazing after the murder of his family.

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The story isn’t really about revenge, more of restiance and life in a occupied country. Looking back at it the family getting executed just feels like a cop out on my part now, a easy way to get the main character motivated to fight. I’m not 100% sure if I’ll keep the scene, but it will be changed at the very least. Thank you for the feedback

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I hate to say it but while it sounds cliche a tragedy is the easiest way to provide a motivation for someone to go above and beyond and rise to greatness. I just saw a video that stated that giving a character a personal concretion to the overall plot helps draw the reader into the struggle and helps us emphasize with the character more. If you had to change something about the scene I would make the executioner escape giving the MC a reason to get even more revenge against the person who took their family from them.
Edit: Other than that mate glad to see you back at it and looking forward to what ever you produce next you got a good voice.

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Lol it’s far more interesting to read ,
If the grammatical errors and mistakes were fixed then this would be good to read without thinking of the errors…


Praise to warm my heart, lol. I appreciate it thanks.

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