I don’t have the energy to gather my thoughts about the gender discussion and lay them out in a way that makes sense, but what I think has basically been already said (there are other ways to make it clear someone’s bad and other ways to make gender matter without hurting real life people for the sake of a story that you admitted yourself doesn’t need it) and also I didn’t vote (as an NB boy) because I didn’t feel like any of the options presented really fit what I’m thinking.
But I did feel the need to say (and this is all I’ll say because I don’t want to go off-topic)
As a CSA survivor, I don’t “let” myself get “upset” over something. I can’t control the memories, I can’t control what triggers the memories, and I can’t control how I feel when I remember. That’s kind of the whole point of trauma. I don’t choose to have panic attacks and if a fictional character threatened to rape my character, whatever the gender of the character and the gender of my character, it would be extremely upsetting if I was given no prior warning that that could happen. Even if given warning, it could still be upsetting but I would more likely be upset with how it’s done than the fact it’s there.
You’re speaking for yourself and if that works for you, that’s great, I’m glad. But please don’t imply I’m only traumatized because I “let” myself be traumatized.