Seven's Deadly W.I.P 10/5/19

New poll that was posted to the tumblr for a milestone goal check it out

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Interesting premise, I’ll definitely check it out as you update. However, I’m going to point out areas that I felt were a bit weak and could use some tweaking, please just take this as constructive criticism to build from.

  • You might want to double check your spelling. Those mistakes made it difficult for me to focus on the story. One of the most common was “your” when you meant “you’re” and happened too frequently for me to point out specific instances.
  • Could there be more background to your main character? All that we know is that they have had a terrible childhood and is suicidal, but why do they automatically know that the Sin of Pride is actually Pride? Why the reaction? Did the character come from a heavily religious background? Why not just assume that it wasn’t just some sort of crazy person who found their way to the building’s roof?
  • Lastly, how can your character be the only one who knows how to get onto the rooftop of the building? Are there no stairs for maintenance personnel? Are they forced to climb to the roof via ropes?

Overall, it was a short demo and I feel like there is work to be done but it is promising! I look forward to your updates!

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Thanks for the feedback! And yeah spelling is something I need to focus a bit more on. As for the other stuff you mentioned I am definitely planning to refine it to make more sense later on but I’m also trying to get more written down. Thanks for the feedback again I really appreciate it!

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Smll update added! Enjoy!

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it good read I am glad you are taking your time in making this

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Thank you! I had actually lost all my progress so the update came out shorter and later than planned

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If you guys head to the tumblr a poll for as a character has been posted

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I just read this amd I’m already hook! This is an amazing wip! Can’t wait for the next update (。’▽’。)

Thanks! If your interested in the tumblr I post extras and in character responses

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Sorry for bothering, but it seems I can’t get access to your tumblr page via phone. The link takes me to a registration page (or maybe I do have to be registered? I’m sorry I’m kinda dumb in tumblr science lol)

Not sure try this! https://sevensdeadly.tumblr.com/ and if that fails try searching sevensdeadly and it should take you to my page!

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thank you, it perfectly worked for me! :blush:

Great!

Omg, you have a lot of potential and i can’t wait for the next update :heart:

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Thank you! If your interested there’s extra stuff on my tumblr!

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I also have a ko-fi for people interested

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Small update. Some grammatical errors have been corrected along with adding a bit more to the bar scene.

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I have some small problems btw I’m really interested in the story.

Summary

??

And also the Supernatural

Dang it! I’ll get right on that and yeah I recently went back to correct all the misspells

Fixed it!

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