61 
 cool thanks Itachi you never let me down
62

lol you never let me down either :stuck_out_tongue:

63

havent even started the second part of this game yet :stuck_out_tongue:

64

T.T Start!

65

just curious now that i have made the begening for both my games seven swords and this which one should i continue now? so i will make some more of one of these games and then switch to the other one. so which game do you guys like more?

66

Idk im eager to see either finished

67

actually iamma write good chunk of this game now and then post it

68

I went to play but there is no button

69

what do you mean?

70

There is a button o.o people flip out when you make the next button the same color as the background

71

I found it :stuck_out_tongue:

72

lol i thought that would be creative but looks like i will have to change it :stuck_out_tongue:

73

Yeah whenever I don’t see a next button I’m like: NOOOOOOO!

74

Ok i am a little busy these days and i have hardly made any of the second chapter

75

Awesome!

76

i have to make the game gender set i hope you guys don’t mind, anyways there is not going to be any romance so you won’t need the gender option :stuck_out_tongue:

77

you guys don’t mind if i make it a gender set do you?

78

I don’t mind, no.

79

A few problems with this story. The first problem is grammar, though you have little of the story actually done, what you do have finished is littered with grammatical errors. I encourage you to proofread your code because I can’t pick out every single error to you but pay attention to your capitalization.

Now, this one might just be me but the music seems rather misplaced at times. You’re talking to your old friend while epic music plays in the background and it seems a bit weird to me. A problem I find with your style of writing is that it is much too fast paced. I feel as if you’re shoving the plot down my throat without giving me much time to think or absorb the information. I also feel as if the chapter is way too short to even be considered a chapter, seemed more like a prologue than anything.

Another problem is that there is little to no description or background. In the first chapter, you should have given the setting of the game a proper description and you also need to explain what the prophecy is and what it entails of. When Jason asks you whether or not you know the prophecy, give us the choice to say no. And while we are at it, how does Jason even know that the prophecy is about to come true? And what are we preparing for?

It would also be nice to have more choices regarding your character such as a name. It could be argued that these things are purely aesthetic choices but I believe that it’s important to be as connected to the protagonist as possible. It would be nice to have more choices in the chapter as a whole, such as your preferred weapon and style of fighting as well as your profession and background which would have an effect on the player’s stats.

I also noticed something about the choices you have to make on how to reply to Jason’s challenge. There are two cocky/snarky replies which doesn’t make much sense if this is supposed to aid in building your character’s personality.

That’s basically my critique of it. It could definitely be improved upon and I hope you take what I’ve said in mind.

80

ok thanks i will change the music soon just turn it off for now. i am not very happy with what i wrote either i was rushing to get a demo out so i am going to redo it. but i do revise my grammar i guess i have horrible grammar even my teacher says that :stuck_out_tongue: