Seven days in purgatory (2020 Sept 5th, Chapters 3/7) (ko-fi open: Jan 6)

[jess-j]

I’m not going to deny that the characters are older and intellectual, which is why I didn’t suggest vocab changes for the most part. (Like “insipid” or “splendor” or “overt”–we probably wouldn’t say those out loud, but that’s fine.) But I do think the "rather"s and the present perfect tense can change without taking any sort of intellectualism away. I’m only 25 and I’m not going to call myself intellectual, but my sister is 45, my mom is almost 70, both of them are intellectual, and none of us say “I’ve just done the laundry” instead of “I just did the laundry,” you know? None of us say “That was rather fun” instead of “That was a blast.”

But yeah, with the "darling"s–that’s why I talked about the Britishisms being like small parts of a whole. Keeping the "darling"s would be totally fine if the rest of the dialogue didn’t seem UK-y. Then again, keeping it all exactly the same is also fine! They just sound a little English, is all.

[Jender]

I understand what you are saying, and you absolutely have the right to your (totally valid) opinion! I am the age range of the MC and I am an American and I say things like “I’ve missed you” because “I missed you” sounds grammatically incorrect to me (unless you physically threw something at someone and missed, I guess…then it would be correct). Though, it may stem from my theatre training or something? I am rather familiar with modern and classical works, maybe that’s why the dialogue here doesn’t sound strange to me? Instead it enhances the character’s unique personalities and relationship.

Anyway, we shouldn’t turn this thread into this one debate. Nice chatting with you!

[Sel_Lee]

AAAAA Thank you so much!!! I’ll adjust them while taking other reader preferences into account!

Also I had to look up the three dot rule lol, turns out it’s another English specific thing to only use three dots. In Korea we use two for pauses and three for omission.

[Sel_Lee]

@jess-j

(“Ice box” or “icebox” is more commonly used by people 80+ years old. I had to google it to make sure it’s used interchangeably with “fridge”–it is, though apparently an icebox is also a specific type of fridge. Regardless of whether or not it actually is an icebox, I’m moderately positive the characters would use “fridge” or “refrigerator” or, if it’s just for keeping things frozen, “freezer”.)

oh this one actually is an icebox lol

It’s camping gear.

[Sel_Lee]

I’m probably going to modernise A a little and keep MC a bit old fashioned, since A is younger than MC. I appreciate y’all’s inputs!!

[Wolfie]

I just dicovered this demo ! I really like it.

And not only because I feel Hannibal’s vibes (the serie). Between the FBI, the food (particularly the dessert) and the paintings explaining the chapters’ names. But because it’s well written.

I actually enjoy reading what people seems to think are “ancient” words. Actually people learning english all over the world learn these words. Usually you see them in litterature but I think it’s great having a game with the good wording and the good past, present etc

And it definitely adds more to the characters. They got some style. Nobody can say otherwise.

I just hope will see a little more about the beautiful cat (the art is amazing in the first post). And why, why did we not see him until now ? I feel a mystery.

[jess-j]

Oh, that must be a regional thing! I’ve only ever heard those called ice chests or coolers. I was so confused lmao.

But yeah, definitely take other people’s opinions into account! I might have come off as more critical than I intended–I don’t think anything about the demo is bad at all, and I didn’t mean to suggest that you NEEDED to make them sound more modern-American, it’s just that if you wanted to, I’d be happy to try to help. I tried to make that more obvious in my first messages but I think I got caught up in it, so my bad about that!

[Sel_Lee]

Oh no, I didn’t get overly critical vibes at all! And I feed off criticism (I’m a bit of a perfectionist and not being able to spot all the flaws in my own work myself is frustrating), it’s what I need in this alpha stage.

And I’m glad to know they’re called more often called coolers!

[Sel_Lee]

Minor update: Stats system, Non binary option, a few minor adjustments.

I’ve already gotten a few feedbacks on the new nb and stats, but I’m always hungry for more!
When I say “non binary inclusive” I don’t want it to just be an option for pronouns, I want it to represent. I’d love some help in doing that.

[artless]

So happy to see an update Sel!!!
Damn, honestly, reading this always makes me feel more cultured, learning all these fun facts and random food and music

I’m still thinking about that last choco-blood thing and I still don’t know if I would try it or not

[Sel_Lee]

Well if you’re ever feeling adventurous, here’s the recipe

Blood & Chocolate | Emiko Davies

[artless]

@artless

unless

THANK U LOL

[BleepBloop]

You don’t know what he’s thinking. The only thought in his mind could be the Mii music, for all you know.

Ahahaha, this bit made me laugh out loud, I did not expect Mii music outta nowhere (just like the MC, I guess… Mii music haunts everyone )

Just popping in to express my utter appreciation and admiration for this WIP! The sense of atmosphere is just, wow. The surreal dreaminess and sense of unease lurking under everything… .

[Sel_Lee]

Thank you
And I’m glad you liked that part xD I enjoyed writing it

[Nagisa18]

U know what made this equal times creepy is the fact that the mc is from Seattle > why- cause I’m from Washington. Even the county was spot on. King county.> there’s literally a correctional facility 30mins away from king county Metro station. - so the mc being from Seattle. >>>>>>>>>>>€€€£¥•••••

.
Anyways Anthony is too kind to be true. I wonder will it be possible to tell him to kill himself, with how much he admires the mc than it’s likely that he’ll follow the request through.
•

Anyways- I was playing as a male mc with male Anthony, half way through I got text with mc with gender identity, like them wearing dresses and trying on makeup. In past flashbacks. With daddy issues. - was that text meant for male mc or ? Just a question

---

My first mc is super sus of spouse. Like literally dude thinks everything that comes out of Anthony mouth is bulls@$.

Second is more downtoned, he’s quite scared and takes everything his spouse says at face value.

Both are Opposite extremes.

• also 23 years is a long time to know someone. If and that’s if Anthony was telling the truth about his identity the whole time despite his creepiness than I wonder how he feels about mc forgetting him.

I wonder will we get a story from the spouse POV.

Also nicotine-> if he was telling the truth than what KINDA PARENTS CALL THEIR CHILD NICOTINE. /sigh/

At this stage i lowkey think that mc and spouse were cannibals, like eating everything with blood. Like what kinda of blood. ANTHONY WHERE THE FUCK DID U GET THE BLLOOOD FROM. Seriously hunting for ur food…

[Sel_Lee]

aaa I spent a lot of time in google maps and streeview trying to get the details right lmao
If you notice anything off regarding Seattle (though I doubt there’s gonna be that many references to it), please tell me

@Nagisa18

Anyways- I was playing as a male mc with male Anthony, half way through I got text with mc with gender identity, like them wearing dresses and trying on makeup. In past flashbacks. With daddy issues. - was that text meant for male mc or ? Just a question

I have set it so that amab mcs have had “effiminate” pasts and afab mcs had “tom boy-ish” pasts, regardless of gender and sexual identity. In reality, both amab and afab mcs had similar neutral proclivities as a child, it’s just that society has a strong expectation of gender roles (especially back then) which mc as a child didn’t catch on to. To child cis amab mc, cloth is cloth, it didn’t make sense that he’d be punished for wearing a certain shape of cloth over another.

Gender roles don’t equate to gender identity.

[Sel_Lee]

Recently stumbled upon a great video series introducing Finland. Since SDIP is supposedly taking place in Finland, I wanted to share.

[jamelikename]

Hey, just here to say that I really enjoyed playing through what you’ve created so far. I absolutely adore the Hannibal series by Thomas Harris and this game gives me all of those vibes and feelings - Hannibal the cat being a ‘yessss bitch’ moment. My theory so far is that these pair are twisty as twisty can be, giving me a potential Hannibal-Clarice dynamic from the book (or perhaps more a Hannibal-Bedelia dynamic from the show).

From what we’ve seen so far, with the theme of either leaning into what we were or growing away from that, I think the MC has to have been a bit strange to say the least. Something is not quite right there - amnesia aside. Initially, my mind went straight to nurse MC escaped with spouse (who was perhaps a patient), drove off road intentionally. Then Nico came into the picture and tells me that our MC seems to bring work home and does not have professional boundaries. But then, spouse is supposedly FBI, not a patient. So many questions. I may be totally off, but maybe I’m not. It’s great.

Truly, I love it and am excited to see how it unfolds. I really enjoy the feature that we are a full character forgotten. Don’t get me wrong, I love building an MC that is bare bones, but I like how in this specific story we were somebody and whether we’re at odds with that or not changes how we experience the world you’ve created.

[HeliosTheAll-Seeing]

I had this bookmarked for awhile and just got around to reading it, it reminds me of this song by p!nk don’t leave me, or something like that. I think the Mc was leaving the spouse and the spouse caused the crash 🤷

[pizzamarket]

hello!

can i just- i- i am obsessed with your story. the moment i read it, i knew i had to tell my friend about it.
here’s a few screenshots from what we talked about and a bit of our theories.

pls ignore the terrible editing LOL i had to censor out some things since i supposed it could be considered nsfw

i promise we are adults LOL

we talked on the phone after this and she has this elaborate theory that our husband killed almost everyone we were in contact with and left to finland because no one would find us there.

personally, i think we actually were married to him and he is not a serial killer. if anything, i think that we’ve been having marriage troubles for awhile and that before the accident, we were actually traveling/visiting, which explains why we brought our cat. but, we got into another argument and maybe he kept telling us to wear our seat belt and was leaning over, but then another car was heading our way and i had to steer into the ocean in an attempt to save us. so, he managed to bring us to shore but then took us to the hospital but i was in a coma. the doctors recommended that we stay in America for further observation, but our husband didn’t want to wait and actually had them fly us to finland so he can take care of us himself. which, leads us to our current situation.

honestly… this story has been on my mind this whole week. it’s just… so good!! like, as stated earlier, it was personally awkward for me to play as a heterosexual woman since in my brain… it’s like i identify as nonbinary/male, but with outwardly people call me a woman. very confusing, i know, but there’s a scene in the story where we have a nightmare and the figures are mocking us, and honestly, it’s literally like being torn because i know exactly how that feels. like, i know it probably wasn’t meant to be seen in that context, but being seen as someone who is not normal hit me HARD. especially having people just gossip about you because you seem out of the ordinary, and having the option to stand up for yourself and STILL be criticized.… wow. really, i related to that part the most.

i HAVE to talk about the husband. i- ughhhh i know we aren’t even supposed to be attracted towards him but WHYISHESOCARING- like HOW am i supposed to actually hate him?? i can’t believe i actually trust him with my LIFE like i wanna know what happened so badly so i can be like “AHA! i can FINALLY hate you now!” like how are you so FUNNY and know how to perfectly respond to my sass remarks??? is this- am i- is this going to turn magical and we are actually under his spell this whole time and somehow the spell worked a bit too good and it’s affecting me in REAL LIFE also?? kidding not really also… how, how did he win that mini staring contest, is this man, human,

and i- i just finally noticed that we can click on the chapter titles and- chap 4??? i beg??? is it… is it too late… to reverse my theory and change it up a bit…

let me take a second to speak about hannibal. personally, i have three cats (meowmeow, curiosity, and bear) and seven kittens (new batch two days ago) right now, if any of my cats were to disappear for more than a day, would drive me INSANE. i would literally be looking for my cats everywhere, so just imagine how my trust for my husband immediately DROPPED the moment he said that hannibal was being taken care of by other people.

also!!! i know i KNOW i have been rambling about how much i love this game but!!! can i just say how much i love the eye color, specifically brown, we get to choose?? like, it’s a little thing but it’s like… you never realize how much beautiful type of brown eyes until you see the options for them.

if i can have any suggestions, i think that i would just suggest that we can ask bird-us at least two questions. i think it’s just that if we ask about what’s the kinkiest thing we ever done, just for jokes, then that’s all the questions we can ask before it moves us to the next scene.however, if we were able to ask that AND actually get a serious question in, i think that would help with us building the plot while maintaining our personality.

and honestly… that’s it?? i am literally addicted to this game. the plot, the characters, the events! i didn’t even get to speak about our husband obsession with Queen and all the intellectual jokes that were told.

either way, thank you so much for sharing this with us!!