Oh gosh I have fun play the demo so much. I will leave my mark here
Wow I really like it
I read everything so fast, it’s just too good! Can’t wait to see more!
Note: We’re all caught up now! Here’s a list of features:
- Chapter 3 (Shiny!): What used to be 5k is now 12k for a demo total of 40k!
- Traffic Jams: Everyone’s favorite pastime
- Solve A Case (Kinda): Put those detective skills to use (finally)
- Hors D’oeuvres: Why is that so hard to spell? Anyways, fancy appetizers!
- Ballroom Dancing: Step. step. glide. Step. step. glide. Oh and tension.
- Business Meetings: Can’t have a reception without meaningless small talk! Wait this one isn’t meaningless? Wow.
- Weird Reflections: Not sure if it’s because of the champagne but this mirror looks a little off…
- Final RO Introduced: What everyone’s (some people) have been waiting for!
Link is on the main post! I hope y’all enjoy and please don’t hesitate to reach out or give feedback! I’m much more active on my tumblr but there will be a stats update soon! CSIDE was being a little difficult recently so those stats will be updated ASAP! Thanks for reading!
Just finished the chapter, and I like it very much, waiting to see how it is the last Ro.
Hi! I’ve been trying to fix it since last update but I haven’t had much success! I find that it works best when you select the choices that are at the top each time. Sorry for the inconvenience!
Hi! As I was coding this chapter, CSIDE glitched out my stats page so that might be why. I’m currently trying to fix it ASAP! Sorry for the inconvenience!
hey no problem
It’s okay, I just choose the option to see MC and perspective so u don’t have to select anyone of the options who make the error sadly I don’t know how to code with this Format so can’t help you :((
Looking the good side, that options doesn’t affect to the storie
Typo. Missing whatever the opposed variable for Diplomatic is.
Neat update! Too tired to give my in-depth thoughts atm, but I’ll try to make time to give them at a later point!
Hi, thank you so much! Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure the stats page is trying to retaliate against me so I haven’t been able to make any fixes but I’m trying to fix it ASAP. Sorry about that!
@swatheford found this: line 26: No selectable options
You got to love magical bulshit can blow up a universe with a snap of my fingers or create one I think if I had that power on pretty much cannot going to commit anything I’m just going to focus on doing what I want to do
cufflinks (one word)
steeled(determined, kind of?) or steely(stoic, cold)
wait- there was a cloud at the reception and you never told me??? how dare you.
Cool story so far - I kind of like the high stakes from the very start, and the fact it doesn’t take too long for the MC to start learning about the weird stuff happening around them.
With that being said, I was a bit bothered in a couple of circumstances, where I would have liked more or different choice options, because all felt a bit OOC for my character. Or well, sometimes he acted OOC on his own or as a secondary consequence of one of my choices.
Three instances stood out to me:
- I tend to select “shy flirt” options in games, but I really don’t like the shy flirt option when meeting Blake/Blair, because it forces the MC to then ask “why should I be the one to apologize?”, which is opposed to my MC’s other anwers, always diplomatic and generally nice and non-abrasive.
It would be nice if the MC’s attitude was really unique to that specific choice, and not include the abrasive version of the non-flirt reaction to them - if that makes sense. Especially considering it IS the MC who bumped into them. If anything, the default reaction should be to apologize.
Generally speaking, the MC acts a bit agressive with no reason (stats wise) by default, like for example, again with Blake/Blair, when they are being rude in their father’s office. Why the heck does my MC start marching to them being all angry and what is he planning to do so that later he thinks it may be a good thing that Mercado interrupted? Couldn’t he just ignore the remark? Or maybe even not care, if we’re to push it even further.
- There’s also that scene where a receptionist flirts with Santiago, and I don’t see any neutral-polite option? The first three imply that the MC is jealous, with different levels of brashness or lack thereof in the reaction, then they can wink and encourage Santiago to flirt back, which is pretty bold and meddlesome, and then they can walk away which is pretty rude, in a way? Something like waiting for them to finish talking (and looking at something else in the meantime, if it’s too awkward) could be a good middle ground?
- Similarly, a bigger variety of answers when Santiago visits the MC later would be good. Like, having the possibility to freak out because the situation seems very dangerous and weird, or be sad because of Santiago hiding things, instead of just demanding to know more or accepting to not know more.
Generally speaking though, I feel like the MC accepts the situation way too easily. I mean, nobody told him anything after the meeting, then for some reason his best friend already knows obscure details about his dreams, then he refuses to tell him what’s going on, but reveals he’s in danger and that he’ll protect him, but still doesn’t want to reveal more. Even a nice and accepting MC should be more alarmed (and other MC’s would be truly angry, I imagine).
Also, I was a bit confused by the use of the second person in Blake’s POV scene in the ballroom, once the MC leaves with Cameron.
The first sentence is: “Blake didn’t know where he was headed, it seemed like anywhere away from you.” and a bit after that “Halfway into his drink, he scanned the crowd for you with no success. In any other situation, he’d be thankful you were gone but something felt off.”
But since the MC isn’t there etc, shouldn’t it be “him/her/them” instead of “you”? The second person feels a bit weird here, especially considering it wasn’t used during the different POVs in the mayor’s office, if I’m not mistaken?
I think that’s it?
Most of the time the choices felt fine, it’s really these three cases I’ve mentionned before that bothered me.
The second person thing may be a stylistic choice, but it still felt weird to me since my MC isn’t there, and the entire point of the “you” is to describe things the MC sees or hears, for people who self-insert, which isn’t the case here considering the MC is elsewhere. But then again, I don’t like second person narration to begin with, even if I’m mostly used to it by now, so it may just be me
I like that there’s more than 2 kinds of ways to be flirty, normally it’s just shy or bold.
This is great, I can’t wait for the full work to be published.
Was the demo updated? I was scrolling through dashingdon, saw a v3.1 update to the demo!